Blood Isn't Always Thicker Than Water

I felt Fallen laugh then sigh. “I missed you somehow, Cas.” One of his arms wrapped around my back while his other hand held my head. Hey, I’m his little brother. Give me a break.

“W-why a-aren’t you s-six feet u-under?” I asked with difficulty.

“Sam told you I was dead?” he asked.

I nodded into his shoulder. “What h-happened?”

He chuckled. “I overdosed on coffee at Pete Wentz’s place. It knocked me out. Caffeine isn’t that great for people with our, uh, condition.” Translation: “vampirism”.

Hmm. Note to self: Beware chocolate’s seducing powers. RESIST AT ALL COSTS.

“Sam saw me knocked out, most likely, and somehow thought I was dead…”

I started drying my eyes. “This is too much.”

Then Monty fell through an alley floor.

“God(s) above…” I groaned and stole my ice cream from Jeremy. As we walked away—Scooper looked very happy to see us go—Fallen kept an arm around my shoulders. A feeling welled up in my stomach along with the happiness that was seriously spreading everywhere (THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID!). I felt…protected. Well, Fallen officially makes a better brother than George. Hold a second… Does this make me and Samantha…cousins?!?!

I’m not gonna think about that.

“What’s with the dogs?” Fallen asked while I piled spoonful after spoonful of Sugar a la Heart Attack de Anorexic Waffle into my mouth.

“They moved in with us,” Jeremy said, giving Balto a loving scratch. “They got attached—and vice versa.”

Fallen nodded. “I take it that the retarded one is Caspian’s.”

I glared at Fallen while drooling out Instant Cavity. “Jeeeeeeeremyyyyyyyyyy,” I complained/whined.

“Faaaaaataaaaaaaass,” he replied.

“Shut up!” I snapped. “There’s no caramel in my ice cream!”

He sighed while Fallen chuckled. Chuckled is such an ugly word.

“Just deal for now, okay! We’re lucky. We annoyed the guy so much he forgot to charge us.”

I swallowed an especially large spoonful. “Oo, brain freeze…” I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to Fallen’s shoulder, while walking over to Monty. “Okay. It’s gone.”

Balto looked down at Monty and whined. I stepped away from Fallen and peered into the crumbly hole. “Hey, boy, how ya doin’?” My eyes fought the darkness.

…Yeah, I wasn’t seeing anything any time soon.

“Um, how are we going to get him outta there?” Fallen asked.

“We aren’t,” Jeremy said thoughtfully, “staring” over my shoulder. I was kneeling and he was standing.

Monty barked then whined.

“I’m comin’ for you, boy!” I called. I took a deep breath. “May the Force be with me.” I jumped into the hole.

“Cas, you’re a damn lot more retarded than your dog!” Fallen yelled at me, but it was too late.

I closed my eyes.

My jaw jarred as my legs hit ground, eyes still shut tight. I slowly opened them, and proclaimed, “I see the light! This is a really bright bottom to a dark hole…”

“Cas.”

“Jeremy! You came too!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then why are you right behind me?”

“Cas. Look around you.”

I did, and felt my lower lip jut into a pout. “This isn’t very big! Force, you helped too much.” The hole came up to about the middle of my ribcage. Monty started licking my ankles. I had dropped my ice cream, and some of it had managed to get on my shoes and lower leg and stuff.

It tickled like mad. So, as is natural, I burst out laughing. “No!” I gasped. “No! Stop it!” I danced out of the tongue’s way, and crawled back out of the hole. “Hey Jeremy. Why’d you say we can’t get him outta here? I—well Fallen, actually—could just pick him up and out. Presto!”

“No, that’s not it.” Jeremy slid into the hole. It was unnaturally dark… My blonde friend appeared to press the side of his face to the floor, steering very clear of the ice cream.

Monty didn’t lick his ankles…

“Just as I thought…” Jeremy murmured. “Monty, you’re amazing.”

I stared at Jeremy blankly. “He fell through solid ground and proved that he’s obese. How does that make him awesome?”

Jeremy smirked from the intensely dark shadows. He looked evil. “He found the way to the King.”

“Whadda ya mean?” I asked, jumping back down into the hole. “It’s just a really dark hole.” That’s what she said. “So what?”

“It only became a hole when Monty made one,” Jeremy said, acting all Wise as an Owl. “Cas, this is part of a network of tunnels.”

I blinked and Fallen joined us down in the hole. I’m not saying “that’s what she said” again. No. Never.

“Are you sure?” Fallen asked. Everything was all fine and dandy until he joined in. Now I felt slightly squished. And we were all trying to avoid the ice cream as well.

Monty tentatively licked my ankle.

“NO!” I exploded. “AWAY FROM THE ANKLE, MONTY! AWAY!”

He whined and cowered backward.

“Don’t scare the poor guy,” Jeremy said. “He did just save our asses.”

I put a finger to my chin in thought. “True.”

“So, Jeremy,” Fallen said, “what do you reckon the King uses these tunnels for?”

“This is how his workers find other ‘vampires’ when they come here, and it’s a communication system.”

“How?” I asked. “Shadow…thickness?”

Jeremy shook his head and pointed behind Monty. “Look.”

“Eeeeeeew,” I grimaced. I could just make out a rat roughly the size of Monty’s head sitting calmly behind the dog just mention. It was black, had a canister strapped to its
back, and the light reflected from its eyes was red. Aren’t vampires supposed to use, oh, I don’t know…BATS?!

“I’ve got a name for him!” I crowed. Fallen gave me a look that told me I needed meds. “Freaky McHorrific!”

Fallen blinked. “Epic ass fail. Now, what are we going to do? Which way do we go to get to the King?”

“Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“Jeremy!” I yelled. “Freaky McHorrific talked!” I latched myself onto Fallen, who was closer. “I’m too young to die!”

Fallen wriggled out of my grasp. “I changed my mind. I don’t miss you anymore.”

I pouted again.

“Now, are you going to read the memo or not?” Freaky McHorrific asked irritably.

Jeremy leaned down and untied the canister from Freaky McHorrific’s back. The top popped off, then Jeremy scanned the piece of paper that he pulled out of it. “It’s directions.”

“Duh,” Freaky McHorrific stated. “What’d you think it was, a personal welcome from the King?”

“A boy can dream,” I sneered. “Now, Jeremy, let’s go!” I shoved a finger into the air for dramatic effect, signaling, “onward!”

No one moved an inch. Fallen was supporting all of my weight—I had crawled back onto him—so I couldn’t move anywhere, or follow my own directions.

“You all suck…” I growled, and crawled onto Fallen’s back, nuzzling my nose into his hair. “Man, you smell like mints.”

“Cas, you’re making me feel gay!” Fallen complained.

“Is there something wrong with that?” I asked almost inaudibly. I was too busy getting myself comfortable on Fallen’s back to care if anyone heard me or not. Incase you’re wondering, I was in the piggyback position.

Jeremy sighed. “Um, rat?”

“Call me Freaky McHorrific. It’s already starting to grow on me…”

“Okay,” Jeremy said, looking weirded out. “Freaky McHorrific. Does the tunnel stay this, uh, cramped the whole time?”

“No. This is just an entrance and exit point.” The rat turned around and scuttled a few steps. Then he looked over his back. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s move.”

“C’mon, Balto!” Jeremy called. Balto slithered in and he and Monty trotted off after the rat. Quick trust bonds, don’t you think?

“Oh, one last thing,” Jeremy called. Freaky McHorrific stopped and looked over his shoulder again. “Why are you here? Other than to give us the directions. If we’ve directions, we don’t need you, right?”

Freaky McHorrific slowly smiled a freaky and horrific rat-smile that made my heart feel funny. His razor-like teeth seemed to gleam. “I’m here to keep you all in line. Now come on!”

“Cas,” Fallen’s chest vibrated with his words. “You gotta get off.”

“But I’m so comfy…” I mumbled, feeling half asleep.

“Once we get to the bigger part of the tunnel, you can get back on.”

I groaned. “Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine…” I clambered off him and shook myself back to awareness. “Jeremy, you dick!” I yelled, seeing him already far ahead. “Wait up!” After I took five steps, the light went out, and Fallen stopped grumbling about how I had both ADD and ADHD. “What the hell just happened?”

Freaky McHorrific’s ratty voice said, “The hole closed up, retard.”

I bristled. “You better watch who you call retard, rat.”

“Make me,” was the snide reply.

“Bite me,” I taunted back.

“Cas!” Jeremy scolded. “Both of you shut up. Let’s just get out of here…”

Slowly, the darkness began to ebb as we continued. “Hey, McHorrific, are we almost there or something?” I asked.

“…No…” he almost whispered.

“Then what’s up with this light?”

Fallen cleared his throat, sounding awkward. “Cas…look down.”

I obeyed, and blanched. “WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY FUCKING GOD!!" I patted my exposed arms, certain I was dreaming. My veins were glowing. My bones were glowing. My very skin was glowing. “WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!” This was above and beyond anything that had happened to me before—except maybe kissing Samantha. Comparing this to my being impervious to fire is like comparing card tricks to Harry Potter defeating Lord Voldemort. Not even close. Or, at least, that’s how it was in my eyes. I was fricken glowing with golden light for cripe’s sake!

Oh man… Does this affect a certain spot where the, uh, sun don’t shine? Crap it all… A luminescent weiner is the last thing I need right now.

Fallen was laughing. “Cas, you’re too funny. But thanks for the light. It’s really helpful.”

I growled. “Hey… Is it just me, or is the tunnel getting taller?” I wasn’t bent over double anymore—Fallen was still bent over quarter.

“We’re getting closer to the full-size part of the tunnel,” Freaky McHorrific told us.

“Nooooooo,” I said back sarcastically. “We’re going backwards.”

“Caspian Luther Ross!” Jeremy looked livid and kinda creepy in the light emanating from my body. He hadn’t used my full name in a while. “What the hell is wrong with you today?”

“What do you think?! I’m going to see my brother for the first time—if all works out—and we’re all walking toward the fucking King of ‘Vampires’! Now, I wonder, what—just what in this godforsaken world—would be making me feel weird today?” I came to a stop a few seconds later, arms crossed, standing moodily in front of a door with no visible means of opening it.

Freaky McHorrific cleared his throat squeakily and climbed on to Balto’s back. “Excuse me. Now, I’ll let you all continue by yourselves from here on out. I’ve got to get back to patrol. When you’re ready, you can push open this door, but it’s one-way. Once you close it and you’re on the other side, there’s no coming back.” He bowed his small rat head and scuttled off Balto’s back. And as he scampered off, worm-like tail dragging on the ground, I swear I heard him say, “So long, suckers…”

Bastard…

“Okay, let’s go!” I said, and shoved the door open.

“Cas!” Jeremy sounded outraged.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“You just go around opening big black one-way doors that rats warn you about?!”

I frowned. “Yeah. Why not? If we don’t open if, we’ll never know why not to.”

Jeremy closed his filmy eyes. “You’re a retard…”

“And you’re a fricken lily-livered chicken.” That sounded better in my head.

“Ass.”

“Asshole.”

“Asstard.”

“Blonde.”

“…Touché.”

Satisfied, I opened the door all the way, letting in some flickering firelight. Black iron lamps or something hung from the ceiling. Never mind, there was only one of them at the beginning of the tunnel in place of a “Welcome to Hell” mat. The rest of the things glowing with fire were cone-like torches.

REVENGE OF THE ANOREXIC WAFFLES!!

I am an asstard. There is absolutely no doubt about it.

“I don’t like the feel of this place…” Jeremy closed his eyes and sniffed around suspiciously. Then he breathed in for a long time—it was the biggest deep breath ever—and then let it out even more slowly. “I really don’t like the feel of this place. It reeks.”

I sniffed experimentally. “No it doesn’t. It may smell bad, but it doesn’t reek. Right, Fallen?”

He nodded. Monty and Balto, however, seemed to be agreeing with Jeremy. They were sniffing around and somehow managing to look like they found something suspicious. Balto’s hair was standing on end. Monty’s tail was actually below a ninety degree angle and wasn’t waving around.

But…something wasn’t right. I carefully took a step forward, and I knew that something definitely wasn’t right. That feeling was back, but different. The sense of danger I got from being around Wentz—I hate him with a burning passion—was welling up inside me, except stronger than ever. That meant whoever was giving me that feeling was really really really really really REALLY powerful.

I whispered, “Not good.”

“What?” Fallen asked.

I frowned. “I think there’s a Guardian nearby.” I turned around to look at them. “And it’s with the King.”

At the end of the hall of torches, there was an intersection of four tunnels including our own. Jeremy pulled out the map. He frowned. “Can someone else read this? I’ll get us lost.”

I grabbed the slip of paper and looked at it in the flickering torchlight. “What the heck?”

“Hmm?” Fallen peeked over my shoulder. “Oh, gee…”

“Don’t I just feel included?” Jeremy leaned moodily against the wall.

“I wouldn’t do that—” I started to say, but Jeremy leaped away from the wall with an exclamation of “HOLY PICKLE JUICE!”

Fallen and I didn’t get a chance to give him strange looks. This rat the size of a coffee table—and a good-sized one, at that—was dragging itself straight out of the wall.

Jeremy landed next to me. “I don’t believe it!” he whispered in my ear. “That’s an illusion! It’s seriously just magic gathered together and tricking your eyesight. But it’s so powerful and realistic! I bet it’s got blood! Or at least something like it…”

A smile slowly spread across my face as I watched the thing pull its hindquarters out of the wall. No doubt about it, this was what the King was using the Guardian for. Who else could make magical illusions? The Guardian probably summoned fairies or something and is using their…magical properties. Or something.

“Fallen!” I called.

“Yeah?”

“Your powers get triggered by drinking blood, right?”

“Yeah…”

“How long does it last?”

“Depends on how much I drink.”

The dogs were scrambling over each other back the way we came in their hurry to get away from the monstrous creature.

“Jeremy!” I yelled. “Do what I do!” I leaped up and landed on the rat’s back. Jeremy followed suit and jumped on behind me.

AWWWWWWWKWAAAAAAARD!

Anyway, I wrapped my legs around the rat’s front ones and exerted all of my “vampire” strength into twisting its head around. Somehow, I managed to, and its neck made a nice loud crack as it snapped. The rat illusion tried to slink back into the wall, but I dug my heels into the ground and managed to hinder it by a bit. Lucky the ground was soil…

“Fallen!”

“What?!”

I leaned my head down and took a big hunk of skin and hair into my mouth. I tore the disgusting bit out of the illusion-creature’s neck and yelled to Fallen over the thing’s inhuman screeching, “DRINK! DRINK ITS BLOOD, GODDAM—” I hacked out a cough. That illusion hair was pretty darn gross. My legs couldn’t take much more of this. And Jeremy wasn’t even helping! He wasn’t even on the rat anymore! Oh, I was so gonna murder him…

Fallen ran forward and started to help the rat. He started pushing it toward the wall, the dumbass…

“It’s trying to go! Let it!”

“NO!” I screamed. “Drink the blood, already!”

Fallen looked furiously at me, then relented, trusting my judgment, and began to tentatively lick up the dark, sticky stuff oozing out of the wound I created.

“Faster!” I demanded. “Actually drink it, Fallen! Drain it! Go!”

He cast me one last glance to let me know that I was crazy, then began drinking in earnest, audibly sucking the “life” out of the illusion.

“Thank God…” I sighed, feeling the illusion begin to lose strength. I slid down its back and set myself between the rat’s rump and the wall incase it made any more attempts at disappearing.

“Cas, you are a mad genius,” Jeremy said, sounding stunned. “How did you think of that? When I said it was so lifelike I wouldn’t be surprised if it had blood?”

I glowered darkly at the wall. “Something like that…”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, walking over to stand next to me.

I sighed. “Why’d you leave me? You just walked off and let me deal with this thing on my own.”

“Yes. But with good reason.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Cas, listen. I couldn't do anything.”

“That much is obvious.”

“Caspian. If I touch that thing for too long, I’ll begin to burn or melt away or something. The Guardian traces in it are too powerful.”

I frowned. “How come I’m fine?”

“I think it’s because you have stronger ‘vampire’ blood than me. You and Fallen both. You’re purebloods. We really don’t even know if I’m a ‘vampire’.”

“Well,” I stood up and stretched, my back cracking a bit, “the fact that Guardian stuff affects you is proof enough that you’re a ‘vampire’. So shut up and accept it.”

Jeremy didn’t say anything back.

I turned my head a bit and saw that Jeremy was giving me an odd look. He seemed to be…sad.

“What is it?” I asked softly.

He looked down. “Cas, I’ve seen good and bad ahead. Don’t let the bad get you down, alright? And…just so you know…I’m very proud of how far you’ve come.”

I frowned, a bit wierded out. “Um, thanks?”

He smiled sadly. “C…can…” He took a deep breath. “Can I hug you?”

I took a cautionary step away from him. “What is it? Do I die? Do you die?”

“I’m not telling you. But…please? Can I? May I?”

I rolled my eyes. “Only because you insist.” I walked forward and folded my arms around Jeremy. He put his over my shoulders, and gripped my pretty tight. “Jeremy, I don’t know what the hell you saw, but you’re my best friend, okay?”

He nodded then pulled away. “Thanks.” He sniffed.

“Aw, man, don’t cry!” I begged, bewildered.

“What the fuck just happened?” Fallen’s dumbstruck voice asked. I turned to check and see if he was done draining the rat. What I actually ended up seeing was a lot more. Fallen was shining. Now like my glowing earlier, but like a sheen of something was all over him.

“Feel good?” I asked.

“Extremely,” he said, grinning.

His eyes were purple. I decided not to mention this little side-happening.

“Let’s go,” Jeremy said, composure regained. “We’ve got a lot to do. Trust me.”

I did. Implicitly.