There's Too Much Green To Feel Blue

"Sam, are we going to die?" Lily asked worriedly.
"Um," Sam glanced at the open closet while she dialed, "I'm not going to lie to you, Lily...I might die, yes."
Lily suddenly stepped out of the closet, "I'll fight her." she proclaimed advancing toward the door.
"No!" Sam half-laughed as she gently pushed her back, "If it were that easy then I'd be out there fighting her, but then who's going to protect you?"
"Hello?" came Peter's worried voice on the phone.
"Peter!" Sam exclaimed.
"What happened? Is Lily okay?" he asked panickly.
"Well, that kinda depends. Would you prefer Lily in the hospital or Lily being held hostage?" Sam asked.
"Is Hash there? Brendon warned me--"
"Peter, we're barricaded in Lily's room! Call of your monste of a wife!" Sam cried.
"But, why?" Peter asked, "Why is she there?"
"I don't know. I'm wearing a cute dress today. Maybe she saw me and went crazy with jealousy!" Sam said.
There was a sudden banging on the door. Sam pressed herself tighter against the door.
"Peter, I think I might die and I just wanted to say that I've cherished the time with you and you were amazing on Sunday when we--"
"Sam, stay where you are, I'm coming!" Peter cried.
Back at the office, Peter hung up. The last thing he heard was Lily crying for help. He stood up and ran to Vaughn, who was sitting on the same desk as yesterday singing a song.
"And I want these words to make this right but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life." Vaughn sang as Peter walked up to him, "Who does he think he is? If that's the worst you've got better put your fingers back to the key--"
"Um, Vaughn, sir?" Peter asked cautiously.
"Yes, Wentz?" Vaughn placed an arm around him, "Would you care to sing with me?"
"Um, no, I don't want to sing your--strange song." Peter said, "Listen, sir, my girlfriend just called--"
"Ah, your girlfriend. How is that pretty curly haired girl?" he asked pulling him closer.
"Um, fine." Peter said frowning slightly, "She just called--"
Vaughn's fists blew to his cheeks and his eyes widened as Pete talked. He gasped, "What did she say?" he breathed fearfully.
"She needs me to go--"
"What?!" Vaughn exclaimed, "What the hell are you still doing at work?!" he hissed scoldingly.
"Does that mean I can--" Peter began.
"Go, man, go!" Vaughn cried and Peter took of running.
Vaughn watched him rush out the door and shook his head slowly, "Poor kid." he turned back to his office, "One night and one more time..."
Peter was there in three minutes. He burst into his apartment and saw Mike with his arms spread out, protecting Lily's door with his body. Hash was facing him and looked ready to rip him apart.
"Hash, what is going on?" Peter cried.
Hash spun around and Peter nearly fell over at the sight of her face. She pointed at the door behind Mike, "I heard how your girlfriend nearly killed my daughter with a mushroom!"
"The mushroom!" Peter swore.
"A mushroom!" Mike laughed.
"Will you stop with the mushroom!" Sam yelled from behind the door.
"How did you find that out?" Peter asked.
A bump came from Lily's room.
"Mike." Hash answered.
"And Sam told me." Mike said.
"I didn't mean to!" Sam called.
Peter moved toward Lily's door, "Sam, what happened?"
"Mike texted me while I was in the hospital. He asked where I was and I told him. I didn't think he'd tell Hash. Mike, you wronged me!"
Mike turned around and faced the door, "I'm sorry, babe!"
"Hey!" Hash and Peter cried out.
Small fingers suddenly poked out from the bottom of the door, "Daddy." Lily said through the door.
"Are you guys okay?" Peter asked, taking a step forward as the fingers retreated.
"We're just jim dandy." Sam said, "Forgive me if I can't greet you, I am currently locked in a room by a savage woman!"
"I'll show you a savage woman." Hash said advancing toward the door.
Mike quickly blocked her and Peter shileded the door, "No." he pleaded, "Sam, sit tight."
"Oh, yeah, I was just on my way to an Alicia Keys concert!" Sam said sarcastically.
"No one, no one, no o-o-o-one!" Lily sang.
"Can I get in the way of what I feel for you." Mike sang placing a hand to the door as Peter stepped away outraged.
"Alright, alright!" Peter said angrily, "Get in the living room and stop threatening my girls!" he turned to Mike, "And stop singing to them!"
Hash and Mike marched to the living room as Peter followed.
"Lily, earmuffs!" Peter called.
"I got her, damn it." Sam grumbled through the door.
"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Peter yelled at Hash, "I can have you fucking arrested for fuck sake!"
"Arrested? I can have Lily taken away from you for nearly killing her! That's child endangerment!" Hash cried.
"We didn't know!" Peter cried back.
"I've never taken gymnastics before, but I'm flippin' right now!" Sam cried.
At the sound of Sam's voice, Mike suddenly turned and ran straight into Lily's room, slamming the door behind him. Sam was sitting on the floor with Lily in her lap, covering her ears. She turned as Mike came in. She stood up and Mike lifted her up into the air.
"Hey, Sammy," he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and placed her back down before she could even blink.
Mike sat down on Lily's bed while Sam recovered from the sudden kiss.
He smiled down at Lily, "Hey, little lady."
Lily smiled, stood up and raised her arms up at Mike. He smiled, hugged her and looked up at Sam, "She's warmed up to me." he explained. He looked Sam up and down.
Sam wore a puffy tan dress, a brown vest and tan ugs.
"Looking hot." he grinned.
Sam smiled and sat next to him while Lily played with his hands.
"So, you and Peter, huh?" Mike asked.
Sam smiled wider, "You figured it out?"
"We've known this whole time." Mike half laughed.
Sam frowned, "We've only been going out for, maybe, two weeks."
"Oh." Mike said genuinely suprised. He looked down at Lily, "Wow."
They quieted. They listened to Peter and Hash argue for a few moments.
"She nearly killed me, didn't she?" Sam asked, referring to Hash.
"Nah." Mike said, "She doesn't have the guts. She's all show."
"Well, that's not very nice." Sam laughed.
"She's not very nice." Mike corrected.
Sam laughed and Mike stared at her, "God, you look so adorable." he suddenly pulled his hands from Lily's and pushed Sam down at her back, "Lily, leave." he said throwing himself on top of Sam.
"Mike, no!" Sam giggled. She shoved him off and sat back up laughing.
"Would Wentz kick my ass?" he asked sitting up, too.
"I don't know." Sam grinned slyly.
"Let's find out." he said placing his arms around her.
"You're just like William!" Sam scolded him. She playfully slapped his shoulder.
Lily walked toward Sam and raised her arms. Sam picked her up and sat her in between them.
"Mike, can I play with your hair?" Lily asked.
"Yes, ma'am." he stretched out on his belly. Lily sat next to his head.
"Do you want to play with me, too?" Mike asked gripping Sam's hand.
"Don't start, porky." Sam warned.
"Oh, I'm porky, all right." Mike joked.
Sam gasped and glanced at Lily. She was happily playing with Mike's hair.
"So have you, uh," Mike smiled, "played with Wentz."
"Mike!" Sam scolded. She glanced at Lily again, "That's none of your business."
"Man, Wentz better not let go of you because if he does, I'll take you home and I will rock your world." Mike proclaimed.
"Mike!" Sam gapsed.
"I'm serious." Mike said, "I'll make you feel good in places you didn't know you had."
"Behave yourself, you booty chasing moron." Sam muttered through gritted teeth.
Mike smiled and blew her a kiss.
Then, they heard the loudest cry yet.
"I'm taking my daughter away from you!" Hash screeched.
The door banged open. Lily crawled back farther towards her head board. Sam threw herself protectively in front of Lily.
"Parley!" Sam cried.
Hash lashed toward Sam but stopped when Mike threw himself in front of Sam. Peter, who stood at the doorway, was grateful, for once, for Mike.
"Move." Hash breathed at Mike.
Mike looked up at her defiantly, "No."
Lily threw her arms around Sam's neck.
"Sam." Peter sighed and leaned against the doorway, "Let her take Lily."
Sam and Mike gasped. Hash spun around and stared at him.
"Daddy, you're crazy." Lily said.
"Hash, if it makes you feel better, take her." Peter said tiredly.
"It's a trick." Hash said.
"No, if you want to take her, go ahead." he gestured at Lily.
"Okay, Peter." Sam said giving in.
Mike slowly turned, reached around Sam and picked Lily up.
"Aw, daddy!" Lily fumed as Mike stood up.
Hash turned and faced Peter, "As for you, Peter--"
Mike grabbed her arm, "Hash, shut it."
Hash gasped and Sam let out a 'ha'. Mike pulled Hash ahead of him.
"I won't ever get over this!" Lily swore, over Mike's shoulder, she brandished her little fist.
Sam rushed into Peter's arms and held him as they watched Mike and Hash leave with Lily.
The moment the door slammed shut, Sam turned to him, "You okay, gumdrop?"
He sighed and pulled her closer to his chest, "I guess so."
She looked up at him placidly, "Let's talk."
"Do you have anything to drink up at your place?" he asked.
"Whatever you want, it's yours." Sam said.
They quickly went up to Sam's apartment where Sam served him some tea. After that they sat on the couch.
"Tell me what's going through your head." Sam said scooting closer to him and folding her legs.
Peter sighed, "It's not even the argument that's got me all bummed and drained. It's just," he sighed again, "I found out today that I can't really use the lawyers down at the department."
Sam looked at the floor and bit her lip nervously, "But, Peter, they can't really set a court date unless they meet with your lawyer, can they?"
"It doesn't really matter now, does it?" Peter asked.
Sam hugged him, "You'll figure something out, Mr. Bucket. I believe in you."
Peter turned his hypnotizing eyes to Sam, stared for a few seconds, and then stared at the floor, "I'm not a victim, she's not the answer..." he turned his eyes back to her, "you are."
Sam responded by taking his hand.
"I'm in alot of trouble, Sam." Peter said, "Hash could take my daughter away and I don't even have a lawyer to defend me."
Sam stood up in a sudden, startling movement, "This all the Jonas Brothers' fault!" she pointed at a poster of Kevin, Nick and Joe on the wall next to the couch.
She strode to the poster, "Teasing us with your sexiness and you flaunt everything you have in our faces. But you won't let any of us have you unless somebody slaps a ring on your girly little fingers!" she paused and placed her hand on Joe's image, "Oh, I swear, if I ever get my hands on you, Joe, I'll take your virginity away, whether you like it or not--oh, my God, I sound like William." she said placing a hand to her mouth.
She turned back to the poster and pointed an accusing finger, "You cheated on Taylor Swift, you abstinate bastard. I'm through with you, you guys are too young for me anyway." she tore the poster down.
Sam turned and sat back next to Pete, "What if I find someone for you?"
"No, Sam, I couldn't ask you to do that." Peter said resting his hands on hers.
"Oh, come on, boo, it's no big deal." Sam said.
"Did you just call me boo?" Peter asked half laughing.
"Yes, God have mercy! I did." Sam said slightly embarassed.
"That's okay, boo." Peter said wrapping her in his arms.
"Aren't you worried?" Sam asked, "About what's to happen?"
"Nah," Peter asked, "I'm sure I'll find someone to help."
Sam didn't say anything. Once again, she mentally rifled through all the lawyers she had visited. She knew none of them were the perfect fit for Peter. She knew of the perfect man to help Peter. It was one of her father's lawyers. The only problem was that he was very pricey. Sam was all too willing to pay for him but she knew Peter wouldn't have it. Besides, if she paid for him, Sam would have to explain where all the money came from. Sam turned it over in her head. She was beginning to see what she would have to do. She knew it was only a matter of time before she had to tell Peter about her background, she couldn't hide it forever. Especially not now that they were together.
"Peter, if....if you found out that I was, I don't know, like in a porn film or something, you wouldn't reject me, right?" Sam asked.
Peter's eyes widened in surprise, "No." he thought about the odd question, "Were you?"
"No!" Sam cried.
"Well, that," Peter laughed, "that just sucks."
Sam shoved him and Peter laughed.
"It would explain alot of things." Peter joked.
Sam lunged at him and Peter took the opportunity to kiss her. Sam pulled away and asked him yet another odd question.
"What is it about kissing that makes us crazy?"
"What?" Peter asked laughing.
"Yeah, I mean, we're just placing our lips against each other's. What's the big deal about sharing our germs and saliva?" Sam asked, "If you think about it, kissing is a weid act."
Peter rolled his eyes, "Bring your germs over here." he pulled her close and stuck his tongue down her throat.
Sam pulled away again, breathless.
"That's the big deal about kissi--" Pete was interrupted as Sam stuck her tongue into his mouth.
The rest of the week went by quick. Peter went to work and stayed there. Lily stayed with Hash. Peter had decided not to ask for her back for fear that Hash would make more accusations and land him into deeper trouble with her lawyer. This gave Sam more time to go lawyer hunting. She didn't want to go directly to her father's lawyer, she was still hoping she would find a good affordable lawyer, although she knew her father's lawyer could guarantee a win. The reality was slowly sinking in. She was going to have to tell Peter. She had never really planned to keep it a secret and it really wasn't a big deal. But the fact is that she had lied to him. Not technically, but she hadn't told him the truth either. She hadn't told him anything at all, maybe that was the worst part. So for the whole week, Sam would leave the apartment half an hour after Peter did and come back an hour before he arrived.
It was Friday. Sam was laying on the couch resting when Peter burst in through the door.
"Sam, tonight's the night." he said.
Sam didn't react immediately. She closed her eyes and took a breath. Then, realizing what he said, she sat up.
"Really?" she asked skeptically.
They had refrained from having relations even though Lily wasn't in the house. Peter often came home tired and he was fearful that Hash would come to the apartment with Lily.
"Yeah." Peter said grinning as he shut the door behind him.
A smile spread across Sam's face, "Why not right now?"
"Slow down, Sam." Peter said.
"Why don't you hurry up?" Sam asked.
"Let me rest, Sam." Peter said plopping down on the couch next to her feet.
Sam crawled to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "You're right. You should rest for the night I'm going to give you."
Peter chuckled and Sam laughed with him, "I'm not kidding." she giggled.
"I know." he said. He grabbed her cheeks and kissed her. He sighed, "Sam, how did we not meet before?"
Sam answered by kissing him again.
Peter pulled away, "No, Sam, later." he laughed.
"You tease!" Sam said.
"I'm a tease?" he exclaimed, "You're a tease! You're always licking your lips and touching me!"
"If I do any of that now, will it work?" Sam asked devilishly.
Peter sucked in his lips, he preferred not to answer that.
"Come on," Sam said sitting up on her legs, "Be like a Starburst and share something juicy."
Peter laughed, "We'll get there, Sam, I'm tired."
Sam crossed her arms and pouted.
Peter laughed again, "It's hard to say no to you when you're so willing, you know. You'll get some tonight." he assured.
"All right," Sam said giving in, "I'm just happy it's going to happen. The last time I was this happy was when I was watching the Grammy's and I found out that Blink-182 was getting back together."
"Trust me, I've been wanting this longer than you have." Peter said.
"Then why don't you have me right now?" Sam asked.
Peter laughed hard, "You have nice clothes." he said distractedly.
"I know, don't you just want to take them off?" Sam asked.
Peter laughed harder yet, "You're crazy."
"I'm crazy in bed!" Sam exclaimed.
Peter kept laughing, "Come on." he patted her knee, "We're spending the night at your place."
"Damn right." Sam said as they stood up, "And I'm not just crazy, I'm Krazy. Pitbull would be proud of me."