100 Ways

8. Realize you can start over...

2007 was a horrible year for me and many others.

In January, I was raped. I was...sick, let's say, as it was. I had slight mental problems. I saw and heard things that weren't there. There were voices everywhere, just everywhere. Every single place I went to, there were whispers in my ear. Telling me things about people, about myself. Telling me what to do. And my parents never believed me. They laughed at me and told me to stop joking around. And then that night, it made it all worse. I was paranoid to begin with but after that, I was convinced that that man was going to come back for me again. I had to go to therapy a couple times (for free). But as soon as those free trips were over and I had the option of going back as long as I paid, it stopped. I told my parents I wanted to go back. My mom looked at me and said, "What for?"
I never got to go back....

In March, I found out my best friend was killed by a drunk driver. His name was Brian Strange. He was my best friend. Ever. He was gone for 7 months. And my world came crashing down in one e-mail. I lost my best friend. I would never see his beautiful green eyes again. I would never hear his laugh again. I would never feel his arms around me again. Instead, I would cry myself to sleep only to dream his image that escaped from the back of my memories.

In May, I found out my other best friend was raped and murdered. Her name was Kate Madison. I truly did love her. She was my sister. My other half. I told Kate everything that I kept inside me. She was there when I told her I thought I loved Brian. She was there with me when I found out Brian died. She held me when I cried. But....I think, in a way, her death made me stronger. I realized...I could've died just like her. That man could've done worse to me. And I cry for what she went through, what her guardian went through. And I miss her.

In July, I started high school. There was so much stress and pressure and all the teachers expecting me to do better than what they wanted me to do. And then everyone starts changing. The people I was once friends with were now so distant. They now got me so frustrated and annoyed. It wasn't the same.

In November, I broke up with my boyfriend 2 days before our 1 year anniversary. But that was no big, we immediately got back together.

But on December 29th, he broke up with me. There was girl who always said that she wanted to kiss him and that she loved him. I kept it inside for a long time. When I asked him about it, I basically exploded. So....he told me that he liked her, yes, but he loved me. But I'm at a time of my life where I need to figure myself out. And he doesn't think I can do that while I was with him. So he ended it and wanted us to stay friends. I was torn. I was broken. My heart hurts...I think it's broken. I'm still trying to figure out how I'll do this....

And of course, in October, there were the fires near my home that burned down many places. Homes were burned down. People lost precious belongings. Fuckers with no lives or souls raided evacuated houses. A couple people died. So much was lost...

My point is....this year, everyone has gone through a lot of shit. It's been hard. There have been screams, tears, and laughter. But we can get through all of it. No matter if you're a baby, an elder, a prostitute, a musician, a lawyer, whatever.....
No matter your age or who you are.....everyone gets a second chance.
This could be the year that changes everything.

Now, I know this wasn't much of a chapter. But I wanted to give you a little treat to welcome the new year.
Congratulations, everyone. You survived 2007. Get ready for 2008.
I hope this year will be better for you than the last was.

I love you all.