On the Edge of Eternity

The silk sheets were soft on my skin and I was all too keenly aware of it. The taste of blood lingered in my mouth like a bittersweet aftertaste teasing me and tantalizing me. I needed blood, I needed Lestat. The way it rolled down my throat, how silky it was on my lips. I refused to open my eyes and let the rest of the world in. I wasn’t ready to move on from what had happened last night. I closed my eyes tightly as flashes of last night passed before my eyes. Lestat’s tong against my wet hot flesh. My lips against is smooth and hard flesh. The way his blood and my blood had combined. Last night I had been so close to giving in. I had never been so weak. The words how close they to rolling off my tong and passing through my blood stained lips, “Lestat my love, make me as you are, give me the dark gift.” But they hadn’t. I knew now that I was closer than ever to giving in to my immortal lover and it was only a matter of time before if did something I perhaps would regret.
When we arrived back in New Orleans that was when the threats started. Threats from the others. Vampires who hated Lestat for what he was doing and all that he stood for, much like Armand and the others from Les Innosents and how they hated him for living among humans and daring to enter a church. Except now Lestat was spilling the secrets of his vampire world to every mortal within earshot of a radio or television. If only the others could realize that none of the humans actually believed that he was a vampire, perhaps they wouldn’t have hated him so much. Lestat explained to me how he was almost certain that the vampires who were threatening him and well the rest of us were only fledglings and not the older vampires like Marius. Lestat still knew nothing of my encounter with his beloved mentor and I felt I had to keep it that way. Marius was my little secret and I liked it.
Marius was my secret little obsession now you see, I couldn’t quite explain it. Even from just hearing Lestat speak of him with such reverence I felt I needed to meet him. Someone who had been around since the height of the Roman Empire? Just to hear him talk that would be like porn for the historian in me, no better than porn, sex it would have been like the best sex in the world for the historian in me. Then when he saved my life I knew then that I must thank him for that. But now it was almost a blood lust. I wanted to taste his blood. I wanted the high that 3,000 year old vampire blood could bring, if Lestat’s blood pushed me to the edge of reason and back what could Marius’s do?
But as time wore on Lindsey and I found our way back to our old routine. Shopping, lazy days under weeping willows, or sitting on the wisteria covered gazebo in the back garden. Our precious afternoons drinking with the boys. Sitting endlessly in cafés people watch and smoking cigarettes. I again felt at home. One late summer afternoon Lindsey and I sat in a little café sipping sodas and snacking on the many tasty appetizers we ordered.
“Lindsey,” I began, unsure of how I was going to say what I needed to say next, “I’m not going back to school. Well next quarter at least.”
A relieved and slightly breathless smile crossed my best friends face, “ That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, I wasn’t planning on going back either.”
We both gave a slight laugh, and I continued, “Well I mean why would we? We have a pretty sweet set up right now.”
“Umm the sweetest, first of all I’m getting paid to hang out with my best friend and take pictures of a rock band, oh and everything else is still paid for… so I’m not even spending the money I earn its pretty amazing!”
“I think I might take online classes , “ I said looking up from my soda who’s straw I was currently using to poke the ice cubes that were melting slowly in the late summer heat.
“You’re dead set on getting your doctorate in History aren’t you?” Lindsey said smiling.
“I am indeed,” I said returning he smile.
“So I take it you don’t plan on giving into Lestat anytime soon do you?” she said looking down at her soda, I knew she couldn’t look me in the eye and ask me that perhaps is was for fear I would chastise her for bringing it up yet again.
“Lindsey, I really don’t know, I mean I’m only 19 I have barely gotten to live on my own I haven’t even came close to making my own way in this world, and that’s something I have to consider before I accept the dark gift.”
“Oh, Amber , I think that your are just fickle about it, you can’t even decide if you want to have sex with him.”
“Hey, now that was a little harsh,” I said looking up the smile slightly fading from my face, “I just don’t want to do something that I can’t take back. But it was still harsh.”
“It was the truth.” Sad fact was it was the truth, I hated it when people knew me that well, I could never get away with anything with them. Every little lie to avoid talking about my feelings she would picked up on and I was doomed to discuss why I was sad.
Suddenly I realized that Lindsey was no longer making eye contact with me she was looking to my left head cocked to the side and a look of utter confusion on her face, “What?” I asked as my head snapped around to see a small boy standing next to our table that I hadn’t noticed before. The little red haired boy couldn’t have been much older than seven. His green eyes were focused just to the right of me, “Can I help you?” I asked looking at the small boy.
Suddenly his green eyes snapped to mine, his little lips formed a smile before he said, “ The pretty blond haired girl says your in danger,” his voice was so innocent, so sincere. I was so astounded by the tone of this child’s voice it took me a moment to process what he had said, ‘Pretty blond haired girl’, my stomach dropped.
“What does she look like?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“She had long blond hair, and brownish eyes and she in a pink dress,” he said looking at me. Emily, that was Emily. I felt my lunch bubble up in my throat as I chanced a glance a Lindsey who looked sincerely confused, then back to the little boy.
“Who put you up to this?” I ask my anger rising, someone had to know about Emily, I looked wildly around the café expecting to see the wickedly ginning face of someone who I had gone to high school with,“ Who told you to do this to me. They are sick. Its not funny. Not in the slightest.”
“She said its really her, she said that she always been there even though you can’t see her. She said she knows you don’t really believe that it’s her so she said, ‘The snakes are loose in the zoo!’”
I sat in an awkward stunned silence, that last phrase that had been Emily and I’s code for ‘Hide the joint and or beer someone is coming!’ Or ‘That guy you like is here’. Suddenly from around the corner a tall and slender red haired woman appeared, slightly out of breath, “I’m so sorry,” She said taking her little boys hand, “ He does this all the time, come on sweetie,” she began trying to pull him away.
“But Mommy!” The little boy pleaded, “ I have to tell Amber what Emily told me to tell her!”
“Sweetie your scaring the lady,” The woman said to her son.
“Wait,” I called to her, as I started toward them pair, I knelt in front of the little boy, placing my hands on his shoulders, “ What else does Emily have to say? “ I asked looking deep into his green eyes.
“She said that its not your fault, you need to stop blaming yourself, it was Jason, not you, he time was over, you were meant for much more that’s why your still here. And you’ re not cursed. She says she’s always been here watching over you. But you’re in danger now. You have to tell him that if he keeps doing what he’s doing he’s going to awaken a very ancient and dangerous power but she doesn’t know what it is but she only knows you have to stop him. “
“Sweetheart your scaring her,” The boy’s mother said, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said to me before pulling him away from me. I felt a sudden wave of weakness and I fell backward on to the hard sidewalk as tears began to stream from my eyes.
“Amber!” Lindsey called as she rushed to my side, “ What the hell is going on?”
“I never told you way Emily and I are no longer friends.”
“I just assumed you guys had a falling out.”
“No, I wish that were it.”
“Then what happened?” Lindsey asked and she knelt down beside me.
“On Graduation night, we were in a car accident, her boyfriend, was driving, he was… was drunk and … and …” I paused as a frew wave of tears rolled down my cheeks, “They were killed.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Lindsey asked wide eyed.
“I liked to pretend that it didn’t happen.”
“Amber you know you can’t do that.”
“I did a pretty good job of it until now.”
“What else haven’t you told me?” Lindsey asked.
“ Im cursed, all my friends die.”
“Amber what are you talking about?”
“Another friend of mine, she died during a soccer game and then another friend was hit by a car, I thought I was cursed, I didn’t want to chase you and Matt away thinking that you would get killed because of me.”
“Amber and you said I was your best friend, you said you trusted me.”
“I do. I just , I just try and I pretend that, I can’t live with everything Lindsey, not every day the way it weighs on you, I have to push it to the back of my mind I have to pretend that it never happened, it’s the only way I make it though the day.”
“Amber, I’m sorry.” Lindsey said pulling my head against her shoulder.
“I run away from my problems, you know that.”
“Yes, but you should have known you could tell me anything.”
“I know. I know. Its just I didn’t want to freak you out and make you think that you were going to get killed because you were my friend.”
“Don’t be absurd, you know nothings going to stop us being friends.” I smiled. I knew she was right. I knew I was lucky to have a friend like her, and I knew from this point on, whatever happened weather I chose to accept the dark gift or not I would have her as a friend by my side.