The Soundtrack To My Semester

Zachary

That girl was going to kill me. My tombstone will read: Here lies Zachary Banks. Accomplished nothing and died of sexual frustration. I chuckled to myself as I left the closet I had just been making out with Rey in.

The last two weeks have been heaven on earth for me. Who knew relationships could go so right? Well, this wasn’t a relationship. I was constantly reminded of that. Whether seeing couples on TV, or having Nate give me those all knowing looks. He still hasn’t said a word to me, not sinse I kissed Rey on our “first date”. Whatever, it’s not like I missed my best friend or anything.

Anyway, back to relationships. Jesus Christ, I never thought I’d say something like that. But I find it odd that she’s not pressuring me. Every girl pressures. It’s just what girls do. Girls are guaranteed to have boobs and to pressure. It made me wonder if she even wanted to be my girlfriend. Shit. What if she wasn’t as serious about me as I was about her?

I pushed open the double doors with a mission. Regina was going to be mine, I was sure of it. What I wasn’t too sure of is how I would make that happen. I had to ask her in a special way. If I put a lot of thought into it then she had to say yes!... right?

Maybe.. maybe it’s time to tell her how I feel. That I love her. That somewhere in all the bickering and flirting and drunken games of 20 questions.. I fell for her.

Sure it would be nice for her to be mine. To know that no other guy could have her. Especially Nate. But that’s not the reason I want her. I want her because I fucking love her. And I can’t thinking about it. Ha. Who’d ever think they’d see me this whipped?

I found myself borrowing someone’s car again and heading to the mall. I was going to buy her something. Something that showed her how much I knew about her..

3 hours later.. I had a trunk full of everything you could imagine. I couldn’t choose! I bought everything I saw that reminded me of her. And that’s pretty much everything. Either this box of sweet tarts or these skinny jeans with zippers up the sides.

( I had to call Taylor to ask for her size. Which was a disaster, she wouldn’t tell me until I confessed to what I was doing. And once she found out I loved her she gushed for a good half an hour. )

I had them all gift wrapped. This was going to be like Christmas for her, I had it all planned out. I’d give her gift by gift and then ask her to be my girlfriend when I gave her the last one. A 14k gold locket. With no picture inside, just an engraving saying ‘You and me against the world.’ I know it was cheesy but cheesy was our thing.

My legs got ahead of themselves as they carried me towards the dorm. She would be done with her classes by now and at this time she always went back to the dorm to hang out with Roo. I had left the presents with Taylor in her dorm, who now called herself my accomplice. So I didn’t look like an idiot walking in with a stack of wrapped boxes like Santa Clause.

The entire elevator ride my leg wouldn’t stop shaking. Some sophomore actually asked me if I needed to use the bathroom.

Down the hallway.. 10 steps.. 20 steps.. turning the doorknob.. its locked. What the fuck? Rey never locks the door, she knows I never have my key. The shower was running so I knew she was in there. I raised my hand and knocked as loud as I could. Hoping she’d hear me through the running water.

The door opened too fast. I knew something was wrong even before I saw who it was.

Nate stood on the other side of the door. Shirtless. Hair a mess. Smug expression on his face. Like he was glad he’d been caught by me. Regina’s singing could be heard from the shower. No… she wouldn’t.

She wouldn’t do this again.

Maybe she would.

I didn’t know what to feel first. Angry or pain.. punch Nate in the face or go get wasted and drown out the knot that’s been formed in my chest.

My mind wandered to Rey. She wouldn’t want me punching the face she would probably kiss.. Fuck!

I didn’t say a word to him, I just walked away. Back down the hall.. to the elevator. There, I punched the wall as hard as I could. It left a dent. Fuck, I don’t care.

I’m going for option two.