Breathe Easy the Doctors Are About to Arrive

I made the dreadful walk up to the glass double doors with Max. He had his rolling suitcase in one hand, packed with all of his needs, all of his wants, and more. I gave him one of the ribbons I used to tie my hair back and I tied it around his wrist. I didn’t care how pathetic that seemed, to anyone really. Max didn’t seem to care either, although it was pink. I hesitated around the door way for a minute, and so did Max.

“Want me to come in and stay until they tell me to leave?” I asked him, my voice trembling already.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down and back at the door nervously, his hair falling in every direction. I knew Jessi and Bryan wouldn’t care how long I was in there. They would wait in the car patiently for me, like good friends. Or at least I hoped so anyway. I pushed the door open in front of me reluctantly, and it felt like pain was weighing on my brow, trying desperately to quench its thirst with my tears. I crossed my arms over my chest and thought about anything and everything but Max. I glanced at a black bench that was seated next to the spacious receptionist’s desk and a big, fake plant. There was a guy sitting on it, messing with his hands, looking as if he had nothing better to do. His hair hung in his face, much like Max’s. In fact he reminded me a lot of Max, only his face was harsher, and he was a bit bigger. He looked up at me as I walked past him, and I finally realized who he was. I couldn’t remember his name, but realization hit him as well.

“Randi,” he whispered, his jaw dropping and his hands falling in his lap. A playful smirk was playing across his sick looking lips, and I just turned my head back to Max, ignoring the guy that was now standing and walking over to me. I shook my head in his direction vigorously, pleading with him to not ruin these last moments I had with Max. He understood, swallowing and sitting back down on the bench. He looked around the room awkwardly, trying not to make it noticeable that he was watching our every move. Max finished talking with the receptionist, and we only had a couple of more seconds before we had to part ways. Max sighed and touched my arm, leading me off to the side. He leaned against the wall and stared down at his feet. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head against his chest, burying my face in his scent for the last time. He put his arms right where they fit, around my waist, and pressed his face against mine, which made my hair fall over both of our faces. I didn’t want to let go, and I felt the tears coming on heavy. I grabbed his face and tried to keep my lips from quivering so I could kiss him.

“Don’t cry, it’s only 30 days,” he chuckled, but I could see the tears forming around his long eyelashes as well as I could feel mine. I caressed his cheek with my thumb and I closed my eyes, finally leaning in to kiss him. My lips met his, and not even they wanted to let go. Our lips moved against one another so easily, despite everything else not being very simple at the moment. I grabbed the back of his hair and hugged him one more time, kissing him hard, making it more meaningful than the last.

“I love you, I’ll miss you….I should go,” I whispered in his ear, biting on my bottom lip to contain myself. He rubbed my back, and the receptionist called for him. I kissed him one last time, and he whispered to me in such a weak voice,

“I love you too, so much, I‘ll call you as soon as I can,” and we parted ways, letting our fingers brush off of one another as I backed away from him. I knew that if I didn’t leave now, I never would. I closed my eyes, and let my tears get the best of me as I left the building. I totally ignored the guy sitting on the bench in the waiting room, he wasn’t important at all at the time. I snuffled and yanked open Bryan’s car door. I got in and covered my face, letting the sobs take over me like I knew they eventually would. Jessi looked in the rear-view mirror at my mess, giving me a sympathetic expression. I laid my head against the back of the passenger seat and I wrapped myself in the jacket that Max had left behind. I didn’t know if it was an accident, or if he somehow did it on purpose, I was going to keep it. Tonight was going to be a long night, I could already tell. I didn’t anticipate it, not one bit. I feared that I would have to become an insomniac from not wanting to go to sleep alone.

Max called me that night, as he promised, and he seemed to be doing a lot better than me.

“Randi?” he laughed. He had evidently been laughing at something previous of calling me.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I eagerly asked him, sitting up out of the empty bed.

“There’s this guy here…his name’s Ronnie, he says he knows you….says you went to school together….” Max trailed off, a hint of jealousy in his voice. I heard dark chuckles in the background, ones that were so familiar.

“Yeah, yeah! Yeah, we did…” I said, furrowing my eyebrows and realizing that that’s why he’d looked so familiar.

“Said you guys were in a relationship….” Max said, and he popped his gums ignorantly.

“Max,” I smirked. “That was 4 years ago,” I told him, shifting uncomfortably in the bed.

“Said you broke his heart…” Max said in a playful voice. A small wave of guilt washed over me as I remembered bits and pieces of my past. “Randi?” Max asked again, guilt showing in his voice too.

“No…no, I didn’t. I mean, I don’t believe him,” I said, touching my lips and trying to remember more. The creases in my forehead stayed prominent and I crossed my legs, as I fidgeted with the blanket in front of me. Max stayed silent, and my eyes were wandering all around the room as I tried to focus on talking to him.

“Anyway,” he said, breaking the awkward silence. “He’s not that bad…he writes some pretty sick shit,” Max told me. I smiled, remembering reading Ronnie’s lyrics on prom night.

“I know,” I said, the smile still evident in my voice.

“I mean they’re not THAT great,” Max said, the jealousy picking up in his voice again.

“I’m not allowed to like his lyrics too?” I asked Max, picking at the wood on the night stand now.

“I don’t know…” Max trailed off, and I giggled. “I didn’t know they were lyrics…” Max said.
“Maybe I should try writing a song for you and singing it to you then…” Max told me, like a typical competitive man.

“I’d love that,” I said as I felt my eyes sparkling as I thought about it. I stopped smiling as I heard Max sigh in the background. “You know I love you and only you…” I said in all seriousness.

“Of course,” Max said, and I could tell he was stressed out.

“It’ll be okay, try not to think of us very much,” I told him, knowing from experience. “Don’t fall in love with someone else though,” I said quietly.

“Never,” he promised, and I could hear a small smile of assurance in his voice.

“Your time is up,” I heard a monotone voice say. I pulled the phone away from my ear, and Max let out an agitated sigh.

“It’s okay,” I soothed him. “Call me again tomorrow, I’ll be thinking about you,” I promised him.

“I love you,” he enunciated, like he wanted to make sure I understood.

“I love you even more,” I told him, and the monotone voice cut us off again. I closed my phone, and chewed on my nail, staring ahead at the wall. I finally had something to do for the rest of the night. I got up out of bed for the first time since we got back, and pushed my hair out of my eyes. I slipped my shoes from the side of the bed on with ease, and walked out the door calmly, sprinting down the stairs. I walked into the living room, and no one was there. I looked at the clock above Bryan’s stove, it was 6 PM. I had all the time in the world, if I was careful. An unfamiliar sound tickled my ears and I turned my head to the direction of it. It sounded like a guitar. I followed my instincts and went to the garage, opening the narrow door and walking down the three steps that led to the gray, concrete floor. I followed a line of boxes that I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I came to a stop in front of Bryan, who had an old fashioned acoustic guitar in his arms. I closed my mouth, and stared at him. He had a serene look on his face, and he just stared back at me from his sitting position on top of one of the many boxes that scattered the garage floor.

“Out of all the things he left me….I enjoy this the most,” Bryan said to me. Every time he spoke of his grandfather he was so calm and collected, almost like the dead could control emotions. I sat down next to him slowly and watched him play, like it came natural. It was like the music was coming out of his fingertips, and not the guitar.

“I know,” I told him, engaged in watching him play. He stopped and looked at me, and I looked at him the same.

“I was just messing around, you know…bored. Jessi was taking a nap too, so I had to come out here and play, so I wouldn’t wake her up,” he explained. I nodded, and smiled.

“I love watching you play, you’re truly and honestly talented, Bryan”, I told him, smiling in interest at the guitar.

“You know… sometimes I think those were his intentions, to leave me this… so that maybe one day, I’d love it just as much as he did…” he trailed off in thought, staring at the wall in front of him for a second and then going back to playing. I smiled and nodded with him, and listened some more.

“Oh, I’d hate to cut this short, but do you think I could borrow your car for little bit? “ I asked him, standing up off of the box.

“Sure…why?” he asked me, furrowing his brow.

“I want to go somewhere…get my mind off of things. I’ll be careful, and I’ll be back before it gets too late, promise,” I told him, giving my word. He nodded and tossed me the keys out of his pocket.

“Bye,” we both said in unison, and I laughed, hopping up the concrete steps and walking around the corner, out the front door.