I Can Taste The Failure On Your Lips

We stopped at a park.

It was very dark outside, and all I could see was the some ten feet in front of us that the headlights were shining on. The windows were rolled down, despite how cold it was, and the radio was turned to some oldies station, despite the fact that all Oli usually listened to was hardcore.

I could see a swing set in front of us, and there was also a jungle gym. I got out of the car, and went to go sit on a swing, and soon enough, Oliver opened the door, turned up the volume on the radio, and came to sit in the swing next to me. We didn’t say anything to each other, we were enjoying the silence. Well, I’m sure he was. I was enjoying the fact that he wasn’t being a jerk. Though, he had apparently put those terms behind him, or so it seemed. It was honestly the first time that we had ever sat in silence, alone together, and it not be awkward.

“So, is this better?” He asked.

I looked over at him to see him looking up at the sky. “Yes.”

He glanced down at me and smiled. “Good.”

“Thank you.” I said. “If not for you I’d still be back there in that vomit hole.”

“Sssh, I like this song.” He whispered.

I then tuned my attention to the radio, hearing Savage Garden’s ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ flow through the partly broken speakers in Oli’s car. Just the fact that he actually liked this song surprised me. But, even more so when he got up off of his swing and held out a hand to me.

“D’yeh want to dance?” He asked.

I chuckled. “You dance?” I stood up and took his hand.

“I do, thank you very much. When I was little my mum used to dance with me all of the time in the kitchen.”

“Wow, I can just picture it now.” I laughed.

“I’m sure whatever image yeh have of me in yeh head, I’m probably nakie.” He said.

“Oh yes, let me tell you.”

“Nah, yeh just keep it in yeh pretty little head.”

The song faded, and soon enough the radio DJ’s voice came through the speakers.

“…In five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!” He yelled.

I looked back up at Oli, and this time he was looking back down at me. We were still swaying back and forth, despite the fact that the slow songs had been replaced by Daft Punk’s ‘One More Time’, which was hardly a good slow dancing song. With every step of our feet, we grew closer until our faces were mere centimeters apart.

“Happy New Year.” I said.

“Sssh, you’re ruining it.” He whispered.

With that, his lips connected with mine. It was way different than any kiss I had shared with Curtis. I don’t know how, and I don’t think I want to know. At this point, I didn’t really care. All I cared about was the movement, and how suddenly everything seemed like it heated up. I didn’t feel like I needed to breathe, but I could feel myself getting light headed. But, then I remembered, I had a boyfriend.

My boyfriend was Oliver’s best friend. Why was he kissing me? As much as it killed me to, I pulled away from his chapped but strangely soft lips, leaving him standing there with closed eyes and that signature pout on his face. He opened his eyes and looked down at me.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I jus’- I- I- I don’ know.”

“Well, you need to figure that out.” I said.

Yes, I was upset.
Yes, I did kiss him back.
Yes, I did enjoyed it.

I turned away from him to walk back to the car. “Can you take me home?”

“Sure.” I heard him say.

===

"Dee." He said before I put my hand on the door handle to get out of his car.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I like yeh is all." He whispered, turning his head to look out his window. "I liked yeh when yeh walked into me at the petrol station. I liked yeh before yeh started datin' Curtis. When I were a dick, I liked yeh then."

"So why were you a dick?" I asked.

"Because I knew Curtis liked yeh. He came to my house after he met yeh at the grocery store talkin' about yeh. He wouldn't shut up, and I were pissed. I didn't mean to take it out on yeh though."

"So you kiss me when my boyfriend isn't around?"

"Yeh kissed back, and don't even try to say yeh didn't."

"Whatever Oliver, I have to go." I said, opening the door.

"Wait." He yelled, getting out and rushing around the car to the passenger's side. "I'm sorry, alright? It wont happen again... Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless yeh want it to." He finished, looking down at me.

I should have said no, and that I didn't want it to. But, things just didn't happen like that, and I found ourselves inching closer again, until I could feel his breath on my lips.

I wish that he would've just been nicer, and would've been faster than Curtis.

But, things just didn't happen like that.