I Will Not Kiss You

"Are you sure you'll be okay, Frank?" Mom asked.

"I'm sure I will," I replied.

"Will Gerard and his friends be drinking alcohol?" Mom asked me, staring at me without blinking.

I looked back. I didn't want to lie so I said yes. Mom nodded slowly but she didn't make her 'I'm not happy' face. So I guessed she wasn't angry about it.

"It's expected," She said when I asked if she was angry "It's his twenty-first. Are you and Mikey going to drink alcohol?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully.

"I don't mind if you have a little bit, like a beer or something but I don't want you getting drunk on cocktails or spirits, Frank," Mom said.

So I said "I don't really like alcohol that much."

And Mom nodded. I smiled and nodded back. I like it when Mom and I both nod because it means we understand and trust each other. Trust is a very good thing. It means that you feel you can tell someone something or let them do something and they won't do something bad. Like Mom trusted me not to get drunk on alcohol which means she let me go out with Gerard and his friends and expected me not to get drunk because she trusted me. I like it when Mom trusts me because I feel very grown up.

The doorbell rang so I went to go and answer the door but only ajar in case it was a bad person. But it wasn't a bad person. It was Mikey, so I opened the door properly. Mikey smiled and said 'hello'. I said 'hello' back and smiled too. Then I told Mom Mikey was here and that Gerard and his friends were waiting outside in the car. Mom said that was okay and then said goodbye before slowly giving me a hug. I said I didn't know what time I'd be back and that I would take a key with me and Mom said okay.

Mikey and I walked to the car where Gerard and his friends were waiting for us. I opened the back door to the car and saw a man with blonde hair and blue eyes. He had a lip ring and was what Mom said to call 'chubby'. It means he wasn't fat but he wasn't skinny either. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and some light denim jeans. He smiled at me and said 'Hi'. I didn't say anything. Mikey said he would sit in the middle and I could sit on the far side behind Gerard. I said 'thank you' and sat down behind Gerard. There was also a man sitting beside Gerard with frizzy brown hair. He was wearing a brown t-shirt and black denim jeans and he looked very tall and was thinner than the other man.

"Hi, Frank!" Gerard said, looking at me in his rear view mirror and smiling.

"Hello, Gerard," I said back, smiling too.

"Guys, this is Frank Iero," Gerard said, directing his hand towards me "He's a friend of the family."

The two men both nodded at me and smiled. Gerard started the car and began to drive forwards.

"Frank," Gerard said "This is Ray Toro, sitting next to me. And that's Bob Bryar in the back with you and Mikey. And Mikey is that loser sitting next to you!"

When Gerard said 'Mikey is that loser sitting next to you', Mikey leant forwards and hit Gerard on the arm. Then he said 'doofus'. Gerard then reached behind him and grabbed at Mikey's knee. This made Mikey squirm awkwardly and squeal. I giggled because it was funny and I knew Gerard and Mikey were only play-fighting. Gerard kept hold of Mikey's knee as he was driving. I didn't like that he was holding the steering wheel with one hand but I didn't want to do what is called 'back-seat driving'.

The man called Ray leant forwards and opened the glove box, looking through the CDs in there. Finally, he pulled one out and said 'All right', putting it in the CD player. The music started and I recognised it as The Misfits. This made me happy because I like The Misfits. Gerard was nodding and reached over to pat Ray's head.

"I want your skulls, I need your skulls," Gerard sang.

Gerard singing made Ray and Bob both cheer. I guessed they liked Gerard singing. I liked it too. Gerard was a good singer. Ray changed the track to 'Astro Zombies' and Gerard started singing that instead. This made everyone cheer even more. Mikey smiled at me and I smiled back. I liked listening to Gerard sing with Mikey. It was fun.

* * *

As we walked through the doors, Gerard said something to one of the bouncers and he nodded, looking at me and Mikey. Mikey smiled at me and slowly reached out to put his arm around my shoulder as we walked inside. It was dark inside and there were lots of strobe lights and the music was very loud. This made it difficult to hear which I quite liked because it meant I couldn't hear lots of people talking at once. Gerard came over and smiled, asking to talk to me. I said okay and Mikey walked over to Gerard's friends Bob and Ray.

"Okay, Frank," Gerard said, holding his hands out in front of himself with his palms facing me "I just wanted to ask, are you cool with Bob and Ray?"

"Do you mean, do I like them?" I asked.

"No, I mean. . . uh. . . do you mind that they're here? Do you object to them being out with us?"

"No," I said "It's your birthday. It would be stupid of me to tell you who is allowed to come to your birthday."

He smiled at me.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked.

"Yes please," I said.

And Gerard walked over to Mikey and his friends. I followed him and he said 'Okay, guys, it's my round first. Who wants what?'. Ray asked for a beer and Bob asked for a vodka and coke. Mikey said he'd have a lemonade and Gerard said 'Pfft, I'm talking about a real drink, Mikey'. Mikey then smiled and asked for a beer. Gerard asked me what I wanted and I said I only wanted a coke. Gerard nodded and said 'Okay'.

Mikey was sitting down next to Ray and he patted the seat next to him and I sat down next to him. The music was 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails. I liked this song so I felt happy. Bob murmered something to Ray, who laughed and nodded his head, looking at me. I didn't like them whispering and I guessed it was about me because they were looking at me. Mikey laughed beside me and I saw him looking at Gerard, walking back towards us. Gerard was dancing to the music as he walked back over to us. Mikey shook his head and said 'I can't believe I'm related to him'.

Gerard sat down next to Bob.

"We were just saying it's good to see your friend has a good taste in music," Ray said to him.

Gerard looked at me and smiled, nodding his head.

"Yeah, Frank's pretty awesome," He replied, looking at me still.

I smiled and said 'Thank you'. Gerard nodded his head and turned to talk to Ray and Bob. Mikey smiled at me and asked if I was having fun so I said I was so far. Then a lady with short black hair, wearing a black mini skirt, a white shirt, black tights and red high heels brought our drinks over. Her shoes were scuffed and one eye had more mascara on than the other. I didn't tell her this because I thought she might get cross with me for pointing this out to her.

I said 'Thank you' to Gerard for buying me a coke. He smiled and said 'That's okay'. Gerard picked up his beer and started to drink it.

* * *

"Mikey?"

"Yeah?" He questioned, looking at me.

"What number is this?" I asked, looking at Gerard, Ray and Bob.

Mikey looked at Gerard, Ray and Bob and chewed his lip.

"I'd say about six for Bob and Ray and four for Gerard."

They were all dancing in the middle of the room. Bob was dancing with a girl he'd met. She was very pretty with blonde hair and lots of make up and a black mini dress. Ray was dancing with Gerard. It was funny to watch because they had said before they started dancing that they didn't know how to dance. Ray wasn't very good but Gerard was okay at dancing.

"How are we going to get home?" I asked "Gerard can't drive if he's four!"

"We'll figure something out, Frankie, don't worry," Mikey said "Even if we have to walk and Gerard picks the car up in the morning."

"Hey, guys," Gerard said, sitting down next to me "Whoo, it's hot. Isn't it hot?"

"I'm not very hot," I said, taking a sip of my coke.

"Oh yes you are!" Gerard insisted with a smile.

"No, I'm quite cold."

"But you're hot!" Gerard said again "Isn't he hot, Mikey?"

"If you say so, Gerard," Mikey replied "Come on, why don't you go dance now?"

Gerard nodded his head and said 'Yeah, I think I'll do that!'. He started to walk away but then he stopped and walked back over to us and leaned in very close to me. He was starting to sweat and his eyes were very wide. His hair was messy and he must have dyed it again because I couldn't see the re-growth anymore. I didn't like it that he was so close.

"I'd just like to say, Frank, that you are very beautiful," He said and then he walked away again.

Mikey looked very wide-eyed as Gerard walked away. I wondered if Gerard had said I was beautiful because he was drunk.

"Oh my God," Mikey said, making a groaning noise.

"What's the matter?" I asked because groaning is something people do when they aren't happy.

"Gerard's just blown his cool."

"What?" I asked.

"Never mind, Frank," Mikey said "He's just making an idiot out of himself!"

I didn't like this. If Gerard was being an idiot, Mikey should stop him. Mikey is Gerard's brother and if I had a brother, I would stop him acting silly when he was drunk. Maybe I should stop Gerard acting silly? I drank some more of my coke. Then I decided that I would stop Gerard acting silly, so I stood up to look for him.

Mikey stood up too and started to follow me. His eyebrows were crossed and I guessed he was confused. It looked like the same face Gerard had made when I first met him and Mikey said it meant 'confused'.

"Where are you going, Frank?"

"I'm going to find Gerard and make him stop acting like an idiot because you don't like him acting like an idiot."

"Oh, no, Frank, it's fine! Don't worry about it!"

"But you don't like it. And people will laugh at Gerard!"

"Frank, please! He's not that bad! He can handle himself!"

"But people will laugh at him!"

I looked around the dancefloor but I couldn't see Gerard. I could see Bob and Ray still dancing but Gerard wasn't with them. I wondered where he was. Perhaps he was sitting down somewhere or in the bathroom. Mikey was standing beside me, looking around too.

"Where's he gotten to?" Mikey said quietly "Okay, I'll look in here, you look in the bathroom, okay?"

I nodded and looked for a sign that said where the bathroom was. It was on the other side of the room, next to the bar. So I walked over to the sign, walking around the edge of the dancefloor because I didn't like how crowded it was. It was very scary. But I had to find Gerard because Mikey wanted to know where he was.

It was smelly in the corridor that lead to the toilets. It smelt like urine. I didn't like it but I had to look for Gerard so I kept walking towards the men's toilets.

The toilets were very smelly and needed cleaning. The sinks were very grubby and the urinals smelled. Both of the toilet cubicles were shut but only one of them was locked. The one on the right. I wondered if Gerard was in one of the toilet cubicles. If he was in the one that wasn't locked, he couldn't be going to the toilet otherwise he would have locked the door.

I reached out and slowly edged the door open. That means I opened it slowly in case there was someone else in there or if Gerard was doing something private. I did this because I don't like it if someone suddenly opens a door on me. I like to have privacy and respect so I do the same for other people. But as I opened the door, I saw Gerard. He was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall. There was a man with short blond hair sitting on his lap. He was kissing someone.