‹ Prequel: The Red Hot Tamales
Suga Babies
My, My, My, My, My, My Baby, Goodbye.
Dade
There was nothing around me, just dark. It was heavy. I couldn’t breathe right; it felt like something was down my throat, helping me. I couldn’t move my arms or legs, even though I was telling them to. There was nothing. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. I was just left to my thoughts, my memories.
Mommy’s dog, Angel ran after me as I toddled into the kitchen. She was slower than normal. She would’ve passed me already if something wasn’t wrong.
“Dade, what’re you doing in here?” Mommy asked, laughing as I grabbed onto a clump of Angel’s fur.
“Momma! I’m hungry!” I rubbed my rumbling stomach.
“Alright, Dadey, what do you want?
“Peanut butter and fluff!” I answered. She smiled and picked me up, setting me on the counter beside her. Angel lay down underneath my dangling feet, whimpering slightly. Mommy handed me a crustless sandwich. I ripped off a tiny piece and dropped it. Mom shook her head and I leaned over to see Angel. She stared at the piece in front of her. She made no moves to eat it.
“Momma, what’s wrong with Angel?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Dade. Why don’t I call the vet and we’ll get her checked out? How does that sound?” she asked. I smiled my wide toothless grin and nodded. She grabbed the phone and dialed while I ate my sandwich. I kept leaning over to check on Angel. She looked sad.
“Ready, Dade?” Mommy asked. I nodded and shoved the last three bites of my sandwich into my mouth. She laughed and shook her head, holding out her arms. I chewed and swallowed before I jumped into her outstretched arms. She set me on her hip and patted her leg. Angel slowly moved to her feet and followed behind us as Mommy carried me to the car. I was put in the carseat, buckled in and Angel hopped up to lie beside me. I reached down to pet her and she moved away. A frown took over my face and I put my hand back onto my lap.
Angel was a sweet dog. She slept in my room when I finally got a bed and she’d cuddle up to me when I was sick. Later that night, Mom and I left the vet’s office. We didn’t take Angel with us.
”Momma, why aren’t we taking Angel?” I asked.
“Sweetheart…” she helped me into my seat and as she buckled me in, I touched her face with my small hand.
“Mommy…”
“Angel, she was sick. She was hurting. I had to make a decision and now, Angel’s in heaven.”
I frowned.
“Like Gramma Sherman?” I asked. I’d never met Gramma Sherman since she’d died years before I was born but I remember Grampa Sherman telling me about her while he baby sat me.
“Yeah, Dadey, like Gramma Sherman.” She said softly. I started to cry and she hushed me, hugging me close. Angel was gone.
I’d lost faith in everything that day. I was only 5 and I was sad. It was the first real loss I felt and it made me lose more than just a beloved pet. Mom told me that I wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Dade she knew before Angel was put down.
“You stupid, stupid boy! What were you thinking? God, why are you so stupid? I can’t lose you, Dade Brennan!”
I knew that voice.
“Don’t you dare leave me here. I know I’m a bitch to you sometimes but you can’t leave me here alone to deal with our insufferable parents. You owe me this, for what you said to me. Don’t die. I’ll have to kill you if you die.”Lily. Cat.
Lily and I chased each other around my backyard and I hid under the deck. She stopped and looked around, twirling the skirt she wore. It was white, standing out against her darker skin. She smiled and giggled.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” She called. She started to walk towards me and I crept backwards into the shadows. She followed but I snuck into the bushes. I never did play hide and seek fairly. She furrowed her cute dark brow when she found that I wasn’t there. I moved swiftly through the shrubs and ducked into the playset, climbing. Lily spun and stared, her mouth hanging open as I pulled myself easily onto the second level. She ran towards me as I grabbed the ladder, pulling myself up into the top story.
“Dade, come back down here!” she demanded. I sighed and crawled back down. Mom taught me to respect girls, especially my girlfriend. She took my hand and led me into the first level, the sandbox. We sat down, as we always did.
“Lily…” I said softly. I bit my lip and stared at her large brown eyes, “Can I… can I kiss you?”
“Why?” she looked taken aback.
“Because we’ve been going out for 2 weeks and I don’t want anyone else to be my first kiss.”
She looked scared but nodded slowly.
I leaned towards her and she leaned towards me. I pushed my lips out in a pout and she copied the action. I kissed her, pressing my lips to hers. We pulled away 5 seconds later and just stared.
“I love you, Dadey.” She smiled. I hugged her and she hugged me back. I didn’t say it back.
That was so long ago. She hates me now and I have never once said that I loved her back. I did love her though, back then anyway. I moved on, like a stupid boy. I found Cherry Jerzak, the cute blonde next door. She was my very dear friend until she moved away in 4th grade.
“What do you mean, you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore?” Lily asked, her brown eyes filling with tears.
“Well, Cherry asked me to go steady with her and I said yes. So I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Her eyes turned cold and her jaw locked.
“Fine. I hope you’re happy.” She took the locket I gave her for her birthday from around her 8-year-old neck, pushed it into my hand and stalked away from me without another word. I looked at the design on it and sighed.
I was so stupid.
“Lily, visiting hours are over. Let’s go home. You can home and see Dade tomorrow.” Nikki’s soft, unmistakably sweet voice filled my blackness.
I felt a press of lips to my forehead before those lips moved to my ear.
“Stay strong overnight. Don’t die.”
There was a click and everything was silent. I started to sink further and further into my dark blackness. I felt that weight on my chest. It hurt and I couldn’t get away. I was stuck.
Word of the day to describe my life actions: Stupid.
There was nothing around me, just dark. It was heavy. I couldn’t breathe right; it felt like something was down my throat, helping me. I couldn’t move my arms or legs, even though I was telling them to. There was nothing. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. I was just left to my thoughts, my memories.
Mommy’s dog, Angel ran after me as I toddled into the kitchen. She was slower than normal. She would’ve passed me already if something wasn’t wrong.
“Dade, what’re you doing in here?” Mommy asked, laughing as I grabbed onto a clump of Angel’s fur.
“Momma! I’m hungry!” I rubbed my rumbling stomach.
“Alright, Dadey, what do you want?
“Peanut butter and fluff!” I answered. She smiled and picked me up, setting me on the counter beside her. Angel lay down underneath my dangling feet, whimpering slightly. Mommy handed me a crustless sandwich. I ripped off a tiny piece and dropped it. Mom shook her head and I leaned over to see Angel. She stared at the piece in front of her. She made no moves to eat it.
“Momma, what’s wrong with Angel?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Dade. Why don’t I call the vet and we’ll get her checked out? How does that sound?” she asked. I smiled my wide toothless grin and nodded. She grabbed the phone and dialed while I ate my sandwich. I kept leaning over to check on Angel. She looked sad.
“Ready, Dade?” Mommy asked. I nodded and shoved the last three bites of my sandwich into my mouth. She laughed and shook her head, holding out her arms. I chewed and swallowed before I jumped into her outstretched arms. She set me on her hip and patted her leg. Angel slowly moved to her feet and followed behind us as Mommy carried me to the car. I was put in the carseat, buckled in and Angel hopped up to lie beside me. I reached down to pet her and she moved away. A frown took over my face and I put my hand back onto my lap.
Angel was a sweet dog. She slept in my room when I finally got a bed and she’d cuddle up to me when I was sick. Later that night, Mom and I left the vet’s office. We didn’t take Angel with us.
”Momma, why aren’t we taking Angel?” I asked.
“Sweetheart…” she helped me into my seat and as she buckled me in, I touched her face with my small hand.
“Mommy…”
“Angel, she was sick. She was hurting. I had to make a decision and now, Angel’s in heaven.”
I frowned.
“Like Gramma Sherman?” I asked. I’d never met Gramma Sherman since she’d died years before I was born but I remember Grampa Sherman telling me about her while he baby sat me.
“Yeah, Dadey, like Gramma Sherman.” She said softly. I started to cry and she hushed me, hugging me close. Angel was gone.
I’d lost faith in everything that day. I was only 5 and I was sad. It was the first real loss I felt and it made me lose more than just a beloved pet. Mom told me that I wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Dade she knew before Angel was put down.
“You stupid, stupid boy! What were you thinking? God, why are you so stupid? I can’t lose you, Dade Brennan!”
I knew that voice.
“Don’t you dare leave me here. I know I’m a bitch to you sometimes but you can’t leave me here alone to deal with our insufferable parents. You owe me this, for what you said to me. Don’t die. I’ll have to kill you if you die.”Lily. Cat.
Lily and I chased each other around my backyard and I hid under the deck. She stopped and looked around, twirling the skirt she wore. It was white, standing out against her darker skin. She smiled and giggled.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” She called. She started to walk towards me and I crept backwards into the shadows. She followed but I snuck into the bushes. I never did play hide and seek fairly. She furrowed her cute dark brow when she found that I wasn’t there. I moved swiftly through the shrubs and ducked into the playset, climbing. Lily spun and stared, her mouth hanging open as I pulled myself easily onto the second level. She ran towards me as I grabbed the ladder, pulling myself up into the top story.
“Dade, come back down here!” she demanded. I sighed and crawled back down. Mom taught me to respect girls, especially my girlfriend. She took my hand and led me into the first level, the sandbox. We sat down, as we always did.
“Lily…” I said softly. I bit my lip and stared at her large brown eyes, “Can I… can I kiss you?”
“Why?” she looked taken aback.
“Because we’ve been going out for 2 weeks and I don’t want anyone else to be my first kiss.”
She looked scared but nodded slowly.
I leaned towards her and she leaned towards me. I pushed my lips out in a pout and she copied the action. I kissed her, pressing my lips to hers. We pulled away 5 seconds later and just stared.
“I love you, Dadey.” She smiled. I hugged her and she hugged me back. I didn’t say it back.
That was so long ago. She hates me now and I have never once said that I loved her back. I did love her though, back then anyway. I moved on, like a stupid boy. I found Cherry Jerzak, the cute blonde next door. She was my very dear friend until she moved away in 4th grade.
“What do you mean, you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore?” Lily asked, her brown eyes filling with tears.
“Well, Cherry asked me to go steady with her and I said yes. So I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Her eyes turned cold and her jaw locked.
“Fine. I hope you’re happy.” She took the locket I gave her for her birthday from around her 8-year-old neck, pushed it into my hand and stalked away from me without another word. I looked at the design on it and sighed.
I was so stupid.
“Lily, visiting hours are over. Let’s go home. You can home and see Dade tomorrow.” Nikki’s soft, unmistakably sweet voice filled my blackness.
I felt a press of lips to my forehead before those lips moved to my ear.
“Stay strong overnight. Don’t die.”
There was a click and everything was silent. I started to sink further and further into my dark blackness. I felt that weight on my chest. It hurt and I couldn’t get away. I was stuck.
Word of the day to describe my life actions: Stupid.