We Won't Regret This
III
John sat on the grass underneath the lunch tent, moving his pasta salad around his paper plate. Usually, John is hungry all the time but his mind was elsewhere today.
He stared at Pat, who was eating underneath the 3OH!3 tent, laughing and joking with Nat and Kennedy. John stood up and threw his untouched food in the trash, walking towards the parking lot. Showing the guard his pass, he quickly found the bus and boarded.
Laying down in his bunk, he pulled out his black book and flipped through the entries until he found what he had been looking for.
December 12, 2006
Today, I caught myself looking at Pat differently and I'm kind of beating myself up over it. We were playing Halo in Garrett's basement when I looked over at Pat and I just randomly thought that he was cute. I didn't know what the fuck I was thinking, but now I get it. I had like 20 Pepsi's earlier and I'm not in my right state of mind while hyped up on caffeine.
I totally kicked his ass at Halo.
John turned the page, reading the next entry,
December 24, 2006
It's Christmas Eve and the guys are over. Instead of blowing loads of money on gifts for everyone, we do a Secret Santa. We've been doing it since we were 15 and what we do is only get something for the person whose name we pick from a hat. This year, the 3rd year since we started, I got Pat. It took me ages to figure out what I should get him.
I had tons of money saved up for whenever I needed it so for his gift I pulled about $800 out for his gift. I have only $400 left, but it was worth it. I bought him this totally tricked out drum set he's been wanting. I even bought a kick ass design for the bass.
John flipped to the next page, removing the gold satin bookmark from his current place to this one; it was the page he's been looking for. He quickly shoved the book under his pillow when Pat entered the room.
"Hey, you okay? Everyone was looking for you out there."
"I'm good," John replied, "just tired after our set."
He could see Pat eyeing where John's hand was still grasping the book underneath his pillow. John released the book and sat up, preparing to leave. Pat moved out of the door frame, but touched John's arm as he passed.
"Wait. I need to talk to you."
John turned to face Pat, waiting for what he had to say. He watched the drummer's chest rise and fall as he took in a deep breath.
"I feel kinda like things are... different with you, John," Pat said softly.
John's pulse instantly quickened; could he possibly feel the same for him? He swallowed, waiting once again for Pat to speak.
"And I want to know really what's up. Lately, it's like you're avoiding me or something. I guess. Did I piss you off? Do you hate me or something?"
Pat seemed genuinely upset and all of John''s hope vanished, the smile disappearing from his eyes. A look of slight hurt took control of his features, which he quickly replaced with false confusion.
"H-hate you?" he choked out, "no, man. Why do you think that?"
Pat didn't need to answer that question, John knew what he had meant. He didn't mean to come off as angry, he just didn't like how he felt and reacted while he was around the young brunette. It caused John to think and feel things that he tried to prevent. Pat makes him feel like he lost all control, like he can't contain himself from thinking certain thoughts.
Pat looked at John with big, brown, in John's opinion- beautiful, eyes as he explained.
"You just don't seem to like being around me. You act like you usually do around everyone else, what did I do wrong?"
John sighed, "Pat, I'm not pissed and you didn't do anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I'll try to pay more attention to that," he promised. John didn't want to ever hurt his friends, let alone someone he's in love with.
Pat smiled, "Thanks." He then wrapped his arms around the tall singer in a quick hug that sent butterflies tearing through John's stomach.
He knew it was wrong to feel this way about one of his best guy friends but he just couldn't help it. John O'Callaghan had fallen hard.
He stared at Pat, who was eating underneath the 3OH!3 tent, laughing and joking with Nat and Kennedy. John stood up and threw his untouched food in the trash, walking towards the parking lot. Showing the guard his pass, he quickly found the bus and boarded.
Laying down in his bunk, he pulled out his black book and flipped through the entries until he found what he had been looking for.
December 12, 2006
Today, I caught myself looking at Pat differently and I'm kind of beating myself up over it. We were playing Halo in Garrett's basement when I looked over at Pat and I just randomly thought that he was cute. I didn't know what the fuck I was thinking, but now I get it. I had like 20 Pepsi's earlier and I'm not in my right state of mind while hyped up on caffeine.
I totally kicked his ass at Halo.
John turned the page, reading the next entry,
December 24, 2006
It's Christmas Eve and the guys are over. Instead of blowing loads of money on gifts for everyone, we do a Secret Santa. We've been doing it since we were 15 and what we do is only get something for the person whose name we pick from a hat. This year, the 3rd year since we started, I got Pat. It took me ages to figure out what I should get him.
I had tons of money saved up for whenever I needed it so for his gift I pulled about $800 out for his gift. I have only $400 left, but it was worth it. I bought him this totally tricked out drum set he's been wanting. I even bought a kick ass design for the bass.
John flipped to the next page, removing the gold satin bookmark from his current place to this one; it was the page he's been looking for. He quickly shoved the book under his pillow when Pat entered the room.
"Hey, you okay? Everyone was looking for you out there."
"I'm good," John replied, "just tired after our set."
He could see Pat eyeing where John's hand was still grasping the book underneath his pillow. John released the book and sat up, preparing to leave. Pat moved out of the door frame, but touched John's arm as he passed.
"Wait. I need to talk to you."
John turned to face Pat, waiting for what he had to say. He watched the drummer's chest rise and fall as he took in a deep breath.
"I feel kinda like things are... different with you, John," Pat said softly.
John's pulse instantly quickened; could he possibly feel the same for him? He swallowed, waiting once again for Pat to speak.
"And I want to know really what's up. Lately, it's like you're avoiding me or something. I guess. Did I piss you off? Do you hate me or something?"
Pat seemed genuinely upset and all of John''s hope vanished, the smile disappearing from his eyes. A look of slight hurt took control of his features, which he quickly replaced with false confusion.
"H-hate you?" he choked out, "no, man. Why do you think that?"
Pat didn't need to answer that question, John knew what he had meant. He didn't mean to come off as angry, he just didn't like how he felt and reacted while he was around the young brunette. It caused John to think and feel things that he tried to prevent. Pat makes him feel like he lost all control, like he can't contain himself from thinking certain thoughts.
Pat looked at John with big, brown, in John's opinion- beautiful, eyes as he explained.
"You just don't seem to like being around me. You act like you usually do around everyone else, what did I do wrong?"
John sighed, "Pat, I'm not pissed and you didn't do anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I'll try to pay more attention to that," he promised. John didn't want to ever hurt his friends, let alone someone he's in love with.
Pat smiled, "Thanks." He then wrapped his arms around the tall singer in a quick hug that sent butterflies tearing through John's stomach.
He knew it was wrong to feel this way about one of his best guy friends but he just couldn't help it. John O'Callaghan had fallen hard.