Ice, Ice Baby!

The ice was bleak and dull. It had lost its shine and it was starting to melt. It reflected the mood that Gerard was currently in; he felt as if he was about to break and didn’t want to do anything about it. For months now he had Frank to rely on but after their first proper fight, he was left alone. It had been three days since the article had surfaced and neither men had quite got their shit together yet.

Frank had cried all the walk back to college. He had tried his best to stop the salty dew from running down his face but in the end he stopped trying. It was a lost cause as they just kept coming. Neither men knew why they were so upset, but they figured it had something to do with the love they shared, just a little something.

A little? No. It had everything to do with the love and the trust they had built in the past months.

Gerard, as he had explained to Frank before, had been used many, many times and often found it hard to trust. He had given Frank his all. He had laid himself bare, at times quite literally and it took everything he had to do so. Physically and emotionally previous partners had drained him and he vowed he would never put himself in that situation. That, is why Gerard felt so low. It was why he wanted to sit on the ice and hope that it swallowed him up, hoped that it would all melt and drown him without a sound.

A little rash, yes. But it had taken a lot for him to be so open, to share his family history and to share so much with Frank.

The younger boy was in just as much of a state. Once he had calmed down and stopped crying he made his way to the office in college. He didn’t sugar coat a thing. He told them flat out he hated what they were about and wanted to quit. They had tried on various occasions that night to try and persuade Frank from leaving as he was a great writer. None of that mattered now though. All that mattered to Frank that he was out of there, away from the bullshit industry and the lies. The lies and the torment that had kicked his lover when he was down and ruined his self confidence.

He knew he had done wrong, hell he knew that before he started writing and for that, he hated himself. He knew for a fact Gerard had many times received poor reviews and found articles in which after he read would cry a little due to the horrible, harsh words they had written about himself, his family and his career.

That night, after his resignation was handed in and to be filed the next morning, Frank sat on his bed and stared. He stared at the picture he had resting on his bed side table of him and Gerard. Frank was kissing his lover’s cheek as they both stood on the ice with woolly hats and mittens on. He smiled to himself, knowing it was a good memory that would be bitter to keep. After resting his head down onto the tear stained pillow Frank lulled himself to sleep with the faint sound of his laptop humming.

The next morning Gerard found himself sitting on the stands at the arena. One thing he loved to do was to watch others skate. He perched himself on the red plastic stand with a hot cup of coffee and fixated his eyes to the middle of the rink. He was meant to be training, but he knew that if he tried it would be a lost cause. He wouldn’t make any progress, he would maybe even dwindle. So for that, he sat down by his self and watched.

After a while his tired and puffed up eyes rested on a couple. A man and a woman, holding one another in the middle of the ice. Arms wrapped around one another’s torsos they kissed gently. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut quickly. He didn’t want to see that. He didn’t want to watch as so many times, he and Frank had taken part in that same action.

Gerard slowly glanced up again, so afraid to be hurt again by the image. And he was. It hurt to look but he wanted to feel; he wanted to feel the pain, otherwise he was frightened he wouldn’t feel at all. He had thought things with Frank was going to be like that couple for a very long time. He had hoped and wished for it to be like that, but dreams only ever came true on the ice for Gerard. It was the only magic he could muster.

Just as Gerard swigged the last few drops of coffee from his cup he went to move from the stands and retreat back to his dressing room, where he spent most of his time and most importantly where nobody could hurt him right now.

But before he could even turn to walk away he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He shut his eyes tight once again and prayed it was a cleaner asking for the empty cup in his hand. He knew better though. He knew those hands.

“Gee.” Frank croaked, his voice betraying him much like he had to Gerard.

The skater sighed and opened his eyes. He tried to walk away once again but he was then met with the other hand, one on either side of his shoulders. He wasn’t going to get away that easily.

“Frank please,” He mumbled. “Just leave me?” He asked, not wanting to turn and face Frank.

“Please give me a chance, to explain if anything.” The younger practically begged, loosening his hands on the elder’s body. Gerard relaxed a little but no where near enough to drop his guard. The guard that was now covering his heart.

“Frank, why should-”

“Please, Gee. Just give me a minute?” Gerard sighed again, hard and loud. Frank bit his lip at this, he knew that was a yes in Gerard’s terms. The skater nodded from in front, never once turning to meet the other.

“Face me Gee.” He flinched. “Please.” And with that, he finally turned his body around to face the other man. He sat down but looked away once again. “I quit.” Frank said plainly and much like he had done at college.

Gerard turned to face him. “You what?”

“I quit, I quit media.” He elaborated. Gerard’s eyes grew wide. Frank was a talented writer and it was such a waste.

“But, but you‘re so good.” He whispered, almost not wanting Frank to hear.

“Yeah, I might be good but I realised it‘s not something I want to get into, the business I mean.”

“Oh?”

“All journalists do is write shit about somebody or another. All they do is spread lies and false facts and most importantly hurt people.” Frank sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes. Gerard noted this. “I just, I, I‘ve done enough of that in the last few days and it hurt. It‘s just not in me to intentionally hurt a person. I mean, I know I hurt you but I couldn’t do that day in, day out.”

Gerard nodded. “I get you.”

“So I quit.” He stated and continued. “I realised what meant more to me. And that’s you.”

Gerard bit at the inside of his cheek harshly. He wanted to say something, he wanted to grab Frank and squeeze him and crush him and love him. He wanted to so badly.

Then do so.

He blocked those thoughts from his mind and tried to concentrate.

“I, Frank, you really hurt me.” And this time, Frank winced. He knew he had hurt Gerard but hearing it so bluntly was another blow. He nodded.

“I know. But, the only reason I wrote that article was because I love you. I wanted to tell the world who you are and just how fucking amazing you are Gee.” Frank stopped and looked over to the neglected ice. He knew Gerard hadn’t been on. He looked down at the older man’s feet and the lack of skates confirmed this. “I just want you to believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. Never, I just wanted to tell the world how great you were, even though I didn’t want it published. I just. I wanted to express how, I-”

Gerard had heard enough. He knew Frank meant every single word when he claimed he had never meant to hurt him. He knew that, and had done all along. He scooted closer to Frank and quickly pressed his cold lips against the other’s. Frank gasped as he really wasn’t expecting this. Not again. Soon though, when the initial shock had drifted away he moved his lips against Gerard’s and wrapped one arm around the middle and pushed his fingers into Gerard’s messy hair. They kissed slowly and softly. They didn’t want to rush anything, it was simply making up and showing one another they still cared, they still loved and that they were still very much together.

After a few breath taking minutes Gerard pulled back but kept his face firmly against Frank’s. Both men panted lightly.

“I‘m sorry too.” He admitted to which Frank pecked his lips.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No, I‘m sorry for being so insecure and so delicate. I‘m sorry for never believing you when you said you really loved me. And I‘m sorry I even told you to leave me the other day.” Frank nodded and rubbed his nose against the skaters.

“So we‘re both sorry.” Frank smiled. Gerard nodded and kissed his lover a little more. “Come on.” Frank motioned. Gerard looked confused. “Come on, we‘re going back to yours.” And with a light smirk, Gerard soon understood what Frank was implying.

Gerard didn’t need telling twice, and he knew they both needed to say and show they were sorry in a way only lovers could.

Riding back to Gerard’s apartment was fairly quick. The pair held hands all the way and every now and again as the lights would flash red Gerard would lean over and kiss Frank quickly. Pulling back, he smiled and carried on driving, leaving Frank in a daze. Once they arrived home they settled on the large couch and snuggled up. They knew they had the whole night ahead of them and didn’t want to rush a thing.

“I love this channel.” Frank giggled as they cuddled up on the sofa, blanket draped over their entwined bodies as they watched cartoon network. Gerard smiled and held Frank tighter.

He kissed his boyfriend’s nose and whispered “And I love you.” Frank grinned and sat up quickly. He had watched enough kids TV for one day, and now he needed some time with his lover.

Once Frank had pushed Gerard down onto the sofa lying flat he lowered his head and placed his mouth over Gerard’s neck. He let his hot breath ghost over the pale skin as Gerard shivered. The older man moved his hands from Frank’s middle and rummaged through his locks of hair before sliding them down his petite body and placing his hands firmly over Frank’s ass cheeks. The youngest groaned and started to kiss the skin that covered Gerard’s airways. Both moaned as Gerard pushed Frank’s hips down and the other licked and sucked on the supple skin.

Soon enough they were a panting mess, rock hard and needing something, anything.

“Frank,” Gerard gasped, trying to grab the attention of his very excited lover.

“W-what?”

“Upstairs, now.” And in seconds both men were up from the couch and lips were attacking the other’s once again. This trend carried on right the way though to the bedroom, against the walls and a few times, slammed against doors. Both knew they needed this, they needed release and they needed to forget.

Falling across the room, the pair fell onto the bed, lips still locked and hands roaming one another’s body. Clothes came off fairly quickly and now the men were lay on the bed, naked and touching gently, and as Gerard reached his hand down to Frank’s member, he slapped his hand away and kissed him lightly.

“No, I want to make you feel good.” Frank insisted. He had caused the man so much hurt in the past few days that it was the least he could do. Frank took a shallow breath and reached down to Gerard’s hard cock. He wrapped his fist around the flesh and started to squeeze ever so lightly. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and gasped. Frank grinned, he loved to see Gerard with a pleasured look across his face. Using his fingers to lightly run across the tip of Gerard’s erection and then gripping a little tighter Frank started to tug. Gerard was sweating and moaning loudly by now, and he knew he was close.

Quickly, Gerard pushed Frank over onto his back and kissed him with force. Whilst doing so he reached out over to the bed side table and grasped the lube. He pulled back, their lips smacking together and smiled as he poured some of the red liquid onto his hand. Frank lay there and bit his lip with anticipation.

“I love you,” Gerard whispered as he brought his face close to Frank’s and his erection to his hole. The other smiled and kissed his lover a little before he gasped at the intrusion. Gerard threw his head back and hissed. God it felt so good. After he had composed himself he looked forward to check if Frank was ok. He seemed to have adjusted well and was now grinning.

“I love it when I‘m this full.” Frank whispered as Gerard lowered his face once again.

Gerard moved his hands and linked them with Frank’s before pushing them above their heads. He kissed Frank once move and then began to move his hips. They both sighed for a while, until things really got going. Soon Gerard was panting into Frank’s wet mouth and striking his lover’s prostate full on.

“Gee fuck! Gee, oh god I fucking love,” He hit it again. “Fuck! Love you, I-” And again. “Oh, god!” And soon the younger man couldn’t even form a full sentence. He was seeing stars and as Gerard kissed him, wet tongues and teeth, he came hard wrapping his arms around Gerard’s waist tightly. It didn’t take Gerard long to follow the pattern and soon he was releasing with force into Frank.

“Fuck.” He gasped as he collapsed onto Frank’s sticky chest. Their bodies stuck together and the sweat mingled into one. Running his fingers through Gerard’s hair he kissed his head and sighed.

“I love you, more then anything.” He panted, still trying to regain his breath from such an intense orgasm.

Gerard nodded and held onto Frank a little tighter.