Eccentrically

There she was – finally.

After months of stalking her from outside the library window, she is finally right in front of me: alive and at flesh. Sure, it may seem to others as an act of hopeless desperation. But I don’t care. Hell, I don’t even give a damn of what they think. The girl I’ve been looking for since February is finally here.

I couldn’t be any happier.

“Here,” I forwarded the sign-up sheet towards the librarian feeling tons of excitement bubbling up inside my body, ready to explode. There she was, there she was: the most beautiful girl my camera has ever shot. Or even my eyes for this matter. “I thought I’d never finish.” I slowly kidded, trying to make some small talk.

Was it just me or was she staring at me the whole time I signed-up?

“Oh, well,” The librarian sighed, typing my information on the computer. She looked saggy in her old age, but I guess that’s what happens to all of us in the end. “Maybe I should revise it.” She pondered, switching glances from me to her. “What do you think, Grace?”

Grace? That’s a perfect name for her. I never would’ve thought so. In my fantasies, I would simply name her Emily or Angelica. But I never would’ve guessed that her name was Grace. It suits her perfectly. Grace and Elijah: the most perfect couple in the world. Works fine for me.

“Yeah,” Grace responded, her voice a plethora of sweetness I’ve been yearning to hear. “I guess so.” She shrugged, zipping her jacket up.

A proverb once said that you can easily know what a person is feeling with their eyes. And her eyes showed the truth, it was no exception. From what I can see, she doesn’t feel too comfortable being around me. Oh man, I think I might’ve scared her. What should I do know? Did she know I’ve been stalking her all these months?

I honestly want to get to know her.

The librarian must’ve noticed me staring at Grace so she said, “Welcome to the library, umm, Elijah.” to break the silence. She took a moment to read my details before typing them on her computer. How could she forget that easy? She’d just typed it in a second ago. “Beautiful name you sport.”

“Thanks.” I bit my lip. “I’m Elijah Harley.”

“And I’m Mrs. Jefferson, but you can call me J.” The old lady winked at me before turning to beautiful Grace. She looked at me, but I was sure that she was forced from the moment. “This is Grace Kinley. If you’d go here often, I’m sure you’ll get much eyecandy to fill your time.” Duh. Just seeing Grace this close can fill up all my nights for months.

Wait, did she read me that easily? “Oh,”

From the heat of the moment, and possibly embarrassment, Grace stood up. “I’m going to go look for something.” She turned before walking away.

I would’ve yelled out, “Wait for me!” if it wasn’t for our society’s stupid expectations.

Ever since I accidentally took her picture at the park last February, I couldn’t bother to look at anyone else. It was like she’s already established a connection with me from the picture. Her frozen smile, countering the odd presence of her friends; it was truly something I’ve been searching for all these months.

Her image was very clear inside my head. She was wearing a striped Gryffindor scarf that matched her other friends who wore a Slytherin and Hufflepuff one. She was smiling the whole time with her friends, toasting their coffee as they munched on some donuts from Krispy Kreme. In my head, I could see her reading all the 7 Harry Potter books in one sitting right beside me as I positioned my camera towards her porcelain face – taking a picture of that perfect moment, just me and her.

“That girl’s not off limits, Jah.” The librarian said, smiling. (Did she just call me Jah?) “Go talk to her if you want.” She pushed forward a book called The Last Song right in front of me. “Tell her she forgot it.” Mrs. J slightly grinned before delving back to her book with a scandalous cover. “You’ll be able to talk to start a conversation with that. She loves books.”

I couldn’t’ stop myself from gushing. “Thanks,” was all that I could manage.

***

So, yes, it took me a long time to find her. Not that this was unintentional. Deep within my head, I was already memorizing the lines that I’ll be saying to her. I guess that took much of my time away from me.

“Hey,” I said as I walked towards her. She was carefully sorting the books of the self-help section alphabetically, kneeling down. Doesn’t her leg get numb with that? “Umm, Grace, right?” I asked her coming out quite unsure.

Of course her name was Grace, asshole!

She dusted Stephen Covey’s The 8th Habit with her shirt. How thoughtful of her. “Yeah,” Grace replied, inserting the book along with the author’s other works. “That’s me.” She murmured quite softly. Her gentle voice would’ve been easily countered out if I yelled on how much I loved her.

I was expecting her to say something more, but I suddenly remembered that it was me who wanted to talk to her. Not the other way around. “J said you forgot this.” I walked closer, reaching the thick book towards her. “It seems interesting.”

Try to make small talk, Eli. Just try at the very least.

“Oh, thanks.” Grace said as she wiped the dust of her shirt before reaching out for the book. I could piece out a hundred amazing photographs and compile them to a scrapbook, but they will never compare to how beautiful I think Grace is.

“So,” I tried. “You like books?” Oh, what a conversation started, Eli. You just deserve an award – a huge smack on the head, for sure. Of course she likes books! All you have to do is pretend that you like books so that the two of you can live happily ever after.

“I guess so.” She said, clutching the book closer to her chest. Somehow, she looks all uneasy. “Books make me happy.” Grace smiled. “You must feel the same way.” Her eyes sparkled to a healthy green. “That’s why you signed up for a card, right?”

She’s talking to me! She’s actually talking to me!

“Well, yeah,” My voice sounded awkward. “I can’t believe I only discovered this place recently. It’s incredible.”

The clock struck 6, and Grace’s body immediately relaxed. Looks like I was the one who was causing her tension. “I guess I’ve got to go now.” She smiled once more before walking away. “I’ll see you later, Elijah.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling my feet stuck on the floor. “See you, Grace.” My words faded at the end. I could’ve escorted her out. I could’ve showed her the picture. I could’ve told her how long I’ve been looking for her. But I didn’t.

And as her footsteps faded away, I pulled the small 3x5 picture out of my pocket and stared at it for a long time. This was the girl I’ve been looking for in months. And still, the words I’ve practically memorized in my head did not flow as easily as I wanted them to.

I have never felt so disappointed in my life. Something tells me, I have to try even harder.