Snake Bite Heart With a Bubble Gum Smile

Alex seemed so down earlier. I didn't want to lie to him though. I just can't get over how hurt he looked.

Alex's closet is full of band tees, random long-sleeve and half-sleeve shirts, plaid button-ups, and skinny jeans. I honestly don't see how any male can wear skinny jeans. I get uncomfortable in them. Imagine how uncomfortable they must be.

I pull a plaid button-up and a pair of skinny jeans out of Alex's closet. His skinny jeans will be loose on me. We are different sizes.

I really hope he's never gone commando in these.

I slip off Jack's clothes. Cold air hits the newly exposed skin.

At least I know Jack won't walk in on me this time, even if it does excite me a little.

I pull on Alex's clothing. His jeans hang loose on my hips. At any movement they may fall. His shirt is baggy like my old one. It's comforting.

There has to be some way to apologize to Alex without giving him false hope.

I sigh and leave Alex's room.

"Alex?" I call, walking down the stairs.

"Living room," he calls back, his tone still down.

I walk into the living room. Alex is on the couch, playing with a string on his shirt.

What if he had told me the same thing? What if I were in his position? I would be hurt too.

But I've been hurt so many times by him. Isn't this at least a tiny bit justified?

When I was nine, I accidentally broke his science fair project. It really was an accident. I didn't mean to fall down the last five stairs and onto his project. I didn't want bruises covering my entire back. He told he hated me. He never apologized. I never got over it. I redid parts of his project for him. I still think he hates me. Does he remember that?

"Alex," I say.

He makes a noise in acknowledgement.

"Do you remember the science fair from when you were fourteen?" I ask.

He looks up at me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replies.

"You did that thing with the guitars and amps; I don't remember what it was."

"I kind of remember. I remember I worked harder on that than I had on any other homework that year. Why?"

"Do you remember what happened three weeks before the fair?"

He stares at me, a blank stare. He's baffled.

"You don't remember do you?" I ask.

His caterpillar eye brows scrunch towards each other. A few seconds pass. His eyes light in realization.

"You fell on it. Yeah, I remember that. Why are you asking?" a smile of amusement is on his face.

Me falling on your project is funny to you?

"Do you still hate me?" I ask.

He gives me another blank stare.

"I'm confused again," he admits.

"You told me you hated me that day. Do you still hate me?"

His face drops. He stands and walks to me.

"I didn't mean that when I said it," he says.

"Well I thought you did."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just aggravated that day. I should have apologized sooner."

I stay quiet.

Is he being honest?

He pulls me into a hug.

"I love you. You're my baby sister; I can never hate you," he says into my hair.

"I love you too, Alex. I mean that," I reply.

He pulls away, a large smile on his face.

"Let's go shopping," he says, dragging me to the car.

I guess that was enough of an apology for him.