Baby, Just Close Your Eyes

“Annabelle! Get your ass out of that bed and come hang with me.” I sat up in the bed and looked at the open deck doors. I slid out and looked over the edge of the balcony. Nathaniel was looking up at me, beaming.

“Why are you still here?! I thought your plane left at six?!”

“It does. Six pm. Now, get down here before I come up there and drag you down here.” I groaned and followed his orders.

“Whoa. Where are you going?!” Jared asked from the couch.

“Nathaniel wants me outside.”

That was the most I had said to him in the last week. He hadn’t mentioned the fact that he was all over another girl and neither had I. It wasn’t that he didn’t remember the night. He did; they all did. We had all talked about that night multiple times and agreed not to throw another party like that and at no point did a guilty look pass his face.

“Why don’t we ever-”

“Later, Jared.” I pushed through the door and jumped on Nathaniel’s back. He staggered forward but quickly straightened up and looped his arms under my legs.

“Way to make an entrance.”

“Or, an exit if you look at it the right way!” I said ruffling his hair.

“Jared?”

“Jared. If he won’t admit to his mistake then I won’t act mature enough to have normal conversation with him.”

“Have you given him a chance?” Nathaniel asked kicking a blue glass bottle out of his way on the sand.

“How are you possibly carrying me?! You’re a toothpick and I’m not a toothpick!”

“What are you like 125-130 tops? Stop avoiding the question!”

“I’m about 135. And, I’m a girl. I’ll have body issues until I’m gray and old. And, yes. I’ve given him a million chances! All I do anymore is stay out of their way and let them do the writing thing. Usually in my room editing their stupid smiles or sleeping!”

“I’m a guy. Guys can carry girls who weigh a hundred pounds more than them and still smile through it all. I’ve seen it happen! You aren’t shit, girl. Maybe you should bring the topic up to him, then? It’s not doing either of you any good to act like a thirteen year old brat.”

“That kind of stung, bro.”

“It was meant to.” I was silent. I hadn’t the slightest of idea as to what to say to that. “You still there?”

“Yeah…..stunned. I don’t know how to approach him with that though. It’s not exactly a conversation I want to just walk in to.”

“So, you kind of don’t want to know what happened?” I laughed.

“I know what happened. It was clear where the whole path was leading. I wanted to see if he was grown up enough to come me in the morning and admit his mistake and at first I thought he was too trashed and just didn’t remember the full night but then he started talking about the party and talking about things that happened after we saw them outside.”

“What if he stopped himself? What if what you saw wasn’t all that happened?” I bit my lip.

“I’ve been reading the boards all week. Three different people who were all unassociated with each other saw Jared kissing another girl…..whom wasn’t me.” I said quietly. It made me the physcho girlfriend. Checking the boards, following Twitters, a random text when he was out. I had wrapped myself around him because I had been under the same misconception that every other girl had been under.

“You checked the boards to see rather than ask him first?!” The disbelief in his voice made me cringed.

“I- I thought he’d lie.”

“Tell me dear; just how deep are those trust issues of yours?”

“Oceans deep, bro. Oceans.” I said shaking my head. He sighed and hoisted me up a little higher as he splashed through the small waves. We were both silent. I was sad he was leaving. Emmy had been there when I needed a girl to lean on and Nathaniel was just there. No matter what. “I’ll miss you.” I whispered leaning my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes.

I wanted to punch them all in the face. No exclusions. I understood they were men but how hard was it to clean up the house?! I bent down and picked up another t shirt that had been thrown on the ground and dropped it in the growing pile. There was clatter in the kitchen. I groaned and followed the noise. Jared and Pat were staring at something on the floor I couldn’t see over the island. Further inspection made me realize they had some how managed to break four of our plates.

“I’ll get the broom.” Pat said stepping back slowly, his puppy dog eyes however didn’t supress the rage that was filling my muscles.

“Just get out. Both of you. I’ll do it.” I said yanking the broom off the wall and sweeping up the mess. Jared reached for the broom to take it from me. I jerked away from him.

“Baby, we made the mes-”

“I said get out Jared. It’s not rocket science. Get out. Go make music or take a walk. I don’t really care.” I said angrily sweeping the broken green and blue glass into a pile. They both left quickly muttering to each other. I knew I was being a bitch. In all fairness though they had let the house turn into a disaster zone claiming they’d clean it right after this or right after that until eventually it was too disgusting to bear.

“Something wrong, Bella?” Garret asked sitting on a stool at the island.

“Yeah. All of you.” I said dropping the glass into the trash and walked outside after dropping a load of clothes in the wash.

“Are you okay?” John asked startling me. He stood up from his spot against the house and walked over to me.

“I’m fine.” His eyes searched mine.

“No you aren’t. What’s wrong?”

“Can I have your keys?” I asked looking past him to the black car that sat in the drive way.

“Not unless you can tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’ll go get Garret’s then. Whatever.” I said sauntering away from him. His fingers locked around my wrist.

“Bells. Come on. What’s wrong?” I sighed and collapsed into the sand.

“I’m bored. I sit around here all day doing nothing but taking pictures of you guys, hanging out with Jared, and cleaning. I fucking want to get away and your making that really hard cause you won’t hand over the keys!” I said glaring at him. Despite the glare a smirk formed on his face.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I needed to get away too.”

“But-”

“Meet me down here with your shit.” I groaned and went to get my wallet. We were half way down the coast before the calls began coming in. Texts demanding our location. Apparently John and I together wasn’t a good thing according to anyone.

“I think they’re mad.” John said laughing. His window was rolled down, chill wind whipped through the car.

“Apparently. Grab the wheel for a second.” I said letting it go and grabbing the Ipod off the dash. He scrambled to keep the car in a straight line. I scrolled through until I found This Century. I took the wheel from a flustered John.

“Dude, pull this car over. Right now.” He said clutching to the door.

“Relax, dude. We’ve got this, man.” I said laughing. His phone vibrated again on the arm rest between us.

“Jared’s starting to think you hate him.” John said reading the text over.

“It doesn’t say that!”

“It does imply it though. He wants to know why we’re suddenly hanging out so much.”

“We’re friends.” I said focusing on the road. His hand touched my face. I leaned away. “Don’t.”

“Is that it? Honestly?”

“Please don’t. We were having fun, John.” He looked away from me. He changed the band on the Ipod to Death Cab For Cutie and sang along filling the silent void. I pulled into a spot at a empty beach and got out. “You’re ignoring me now?”

“I don’t understand you.” He said looking up me. His eyes could burn a hole into my head.

“What’s not to understand?! I’m simple!”

“We have fun. We fight. We laugh. That’s called chemistry. Annabelle!” I rolled my eyes. Someone needed to lay off The Notebook watching.

“You know why. Jared would be crushed!”

“Jared would move on.” I clenched my jaw, the anger filling my muscles.

“You really don’t fucking understand do you?! God, seriously?! You’re his best fucking friend! You’re in a band with him. I don’t want to tear this band apart by leaving him for you! I don’t want to be that girl!”

“Is there a problem here?” I looked up into the eyes of a police officer. He was new and looked nervous but ready to take on a problem even if it was just a confused, pissed off girl and the dumb, douche bag guy.

“No, sir. We’ve been on the road for a long time. She needed to vent is all.” John said wrapping his arm around my shoulders for show. I wanted to kick him in the stomach and make him eat sand.

“Okay. I’ll be right across the street if you have a problem.” He said smiling at us both and walking back across the street. We waited until he was back in his car to resume the conversation.

“Is that all you have to say?” John asked quietly dropping his arm and turning back to me.

“I don’t know what else to say. It’s not like we can just avoid each other. We live together, bro.” I said looking at the sand. We were both silent for a long time.

“You’d be a better friend to him.” I contemplated telling him why I was so ready to leave with him.

“Remember that party for Em and Halvo?”

“All too well.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, well I saw him and some chick all over each other. I can’t be around him more than a few minutes and then I have to leave or I want to hurt him. I don’t know what to do.”

“Leave him.” I laughed quietly.

“Of course you would say that.”

“What else do you want me to say? Do you want me to forget I ever had feelings for you? I’ll do that. You just say the word.” He was serious. I didn’t want to say yes but I had to. For everyone.

“John-”

“Okay. I’ll never mention this ever again. Strictly friends.” I bit my bottom lip and looked away from him.

“I’m so sorry. I’d turn the clock backs if-”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We should get home. Your boyfriend is pretty worried about you.” John said handing me his phone and heading back to the car. He waited in the drivers seat. I handed him the keys and settled against the seat. The officer waved as we pulled out. I blushed knowing he had probably heard the whole conversation.

“I’m leaving when we get home. I might just leave for Jersey early or go see Katy. I can’t be here anymore though. I’m hurting people.” I said not looking at him. He jerked to the side of the road and turned off the car. It was sometime before he turned to me.

“Don’t.”

“I have to. I’ve driven Jared away. I’m driven you away. I got in a fight with Garret of all people. Kennedy and me barely talk anymore. It won’t be long. I promise.” I said playing with the heart.

“What can I do?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing you did. I just don’t want to interfere with this album anymore than I already have.”

“I don’t know if you’ve realized it yet or not but you pretty much are the album.”

“That has to stop. All of this has to stop for awhile. Maybe I’ll break it off with Jared and clear my head. Go see Katy and help Daray with the wedding plans. We’ll all meet back in Jersey and I’ll come back with you guys.”

“Annabelle, please don’t do this.” He said clutching the wheel tightly. My fingertips lightly grazed his face. He looked over at me. I unbuckled and leaned up.

“Things are going to be okay.” I whispered pressing my lips to his.

It was time to go.