The Beginning of the End

The Ways minus Mikey and I arrived at the hospital as fast as the sedan could take us. I wasn't crying yet but my hands were shaking severely. Gerard was holding me against his chest and rubbing my arm since he couldn't play with my hair. He was still scared to mess up my bun.

What was the point? Mom probably wouldn't see it. I'm not a pessimist; I'm just living in a world known as reality. Where there are those people who always try to see the good side of things and how "things will pull through", I spit in their faces and tell them to stop being so damn hopeful. Life isn't going to stay happy for you because it feels bad for you. Life has no face and takes no mercy on anyone. It doesn't favor anyone either.

I was in a haze as we all got out the car and ran into the emergency room. I was surprised I was able to keep up with Gerard's speed, being that I wasn't wearing flat shoes.

We ran straight to mom's room with protests from whoever was sitting at the desk. A doctor stood in front of mom's door with his stethoscope askew around his neck.

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Mrs. Way asked, trying to push past him.

"She's failing. I don't think she can make the night. I think you should all say goodbye before she goes," he said in a grim voice.

Mother, father, and son stared at me wide-eyed as the doctor stepped aside to let us walk into the room. They led me into the room. I still couldn't comprehend anything.

My feet moved on its own accord, shuffling towards the bed. You could hear the clacking sound the heels were making. Isn't this nice? I dressed up to watch my mom die.

I looked at her face, which looked so fragile as she had trouble breathing. She lost the hair on her head long ago but I still stroked her head as though the hair was never gone. Her eyes opened slowly and painfully. A weak smile appeared.

"Lilly," she whispered, "I am so sorry baby. I love you."

Just like that, she closed her eyes once again, and she was...gone. My only family left in the world left me all alone and vulnerable. What am I going to do now? I'm going to live on the streets aren't I? No one loves me anymore.

Overly dramatic, I threw my body on top of my deceased mother's and screamed obscenities and sobbed at the same time. No one could understand what I said but I knew exactly what I said. I think Gerard and his parents ran into the room once they heard me screaming.

I felt Gerard's callused hands grab my shoulder and yank me away from the bed. I screamed and scratched his hands, trying to make him let go. I didn't want to leave her. I wasn't going to leave my mom with all these strangers. I refuse to let her go.

"Someone, please help!" Gerard screamed as I screamed with him.

My hair was now loose from the bun so I was freely thrashing my head and body around so I could get out of his grasp. Why wouldn't he let me go back to mom? I wasn't going to let complete strangers touch her. I'd punch and kick anyone who dared to touch her.

I slipped out of his arms and laughed happily. I began to run back to the room, kicking my shoes off. I was so close to reaching the closed door until a sharp pain made my left arm tense. I looked and found a needle in my skin. The man next to me frowned and Gerard smiled apologetically. I grew sleepy and fell to the floor.