Everybody's Singing Like They're Crazy In Love

I didn’t know where to put myself, I didn’t want to be in the lounge room because mum would notice my mood and if I went into my room and closed my blinds Alex would know that I’m in there.

I just decided to sit in the bathroom and study my face. It was the least of my worries at the moment and it was the only thing that could keep my attention for more than three minutes without thinking of Alex. Well that was only one minute hey, but you get the point.

I couldn’t make up my mind, do I forgive him for being a complete dick, or do I run over to his house and tell him that I want to be his girlfriend, or do I wait for him to do the manly thing and grow some balls and ask me out. So much for not thinking about him, he never leaves my freaking mind.

I opened the door and walked out the front and walked over to his house,
it was a spur of a moment thing right.
Though I chickened out and kept walking and didn’t look back. I walked around the block thinking and thinking and thinking, and by the time I finished thinking I hadn’t noticed Alex walking right beside me.

“Wow, you’re there” I said as I looked at him confused.

“Yes I am, great observing” He said as he cracked a smile. I didn’t smile back; I wasn’t just going to give in like that. He seriously let me down and I’m still not sure how to approach the whole ‘We like each other we should totally get together’ phase that was going through my head all day long.
I was glad that it was the weekend actually, I didn’t have everyone wondering whether or not we were going to get together, which will probably happen in the next couple of days if I’m guessing that Alex doesn’t want to be the one to bring up the issue.

“So what’s been happening?” He asked as if nothing was wrong.
“Nothing actually, I’ve been dreading the situation between us and I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left the school grounds. You’re everywhere I am and you never leave me and it’s driving me insane”

“Well that’s a good thing right? I mean I am the cutest guy at the school” He said winking.

That’s what I mean, arrogant prick.

“Yeah sure, you’re just the cutest” I said laughing, as I hit him over the head.
“So what do we do about this situation we have between us?” He asked.

I’m surprised I didn’t think he’d bring it up at all. I didn’t know what to say to that, I wasn’t ready to go any further though, I know this sounds stupid. I like the boy, he likes me there shouldn’t be anything else in the way right? Wrong. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to react without hurting him, there’s just something eating at me and I can’t put my finger on it. Is it too soon after Courtney, Isaac, my dad, I thought I had this all figured out, I want to be with Alex but when the opportunity was pushed in front of my face I didn’t know whether I wanted to take it.

“I don’t know” I said feeling like a complete idiot.

“What do you mean? I thought we figured this out?” He asked just as confused as I was.
“I don’t know whether I want to be with you just yet, I like the fact that we’re friends and we don’t have to be any more than that.” I replied.
“But I thought you said that you like me”
“I do, of course I do. But I don’t think I’m ready for this”
“Ready? What’s in the way? Is it Courtney, Isaac, your dad? I don’t understand where this is coming from?” He asked still confused.

“I don’t know I don’t know where it’s coming from, I don’t know what it is, and I just have this gut feeling that maybe I’m making this decision just a bit too soon.”

“Too soon, we’ve just spent nearly 2 weeks getting to know each other and you think it’s too soon, we’re not going to rush into anything I want to get to know you better than I do but we can work on that. It’ll all take time just please don’t throw it away before you’ve tried it.”

“Alex we haven’t even sat down and told each other our full names little own got to know each other, have you forgotten the fact that Courtney was always there and always on top of you. Then you disappeared, what was that? Are you going to disappear again now because you’re not getting what you want? I’m not an item you can just pull off the shelf have me for a month and then toss me away, I don’t have a use by date and I would certainly appreciate it if you understood where I was coming from” I replied.

“Okay I get it. You don’t want a relationship though you like me we’re both single, we can work on the whole ‘getting to know you’ idea and we can just be the same people. I’m not just going to grab you off the shelf and shift you way the next week. I want to be with you and I know that you want to be with me can you please just give it a go”
“I can’t” I said sternly and walked away.

“Oh by the way, first day you arrived here. Your full name is Holly Bedford, mines Alex Gaskarth. You ordered a Chocolate milkshake; you were wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a purple patterned top with the same shoes you’re wearing now. You had a book with you that you were writing stuff in and we exchanged numbers because you didn’t know where anything was.”
I didn’t move, I just froze, and he totally didn’t just say that, he didn’t remember that. What was I doing, I was throwing the best thing that has happened to me away, and I’m just going to let it happen. I turned around to see Alex’s face right above mine. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips.

“Can you please do me the honour of being my girlfriend?”
“Yes, yes and yes and yes!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I smiled as I gazed into his eyes as he kissed me on the lips again, only longer and guess what? The sparks flew I mean serious there were sparks everywhere.

I never ever wanted to let this moment end. I never ever wanted this boy to leave. Ever.