A Rollercoaster Kind of Rush

He was right behind me, just as I had expected him to be. He followed me like a loyal puppy, all the way from the party at Phoebe, Danny and Joe's apartment to my apartment across town. He trailed behind me to the doorstep, his words now fuzzy as I finally forced myself to tone his voice out completely.

Evan didn't hesitate to jump into my car as I left my best friend's apartment. After the first block of listening to him beg for me to talk to him, I turned the radio up as loud as it would go, not caring that it was hurting my ears. I was just happy that I couldn't hear him anymore, because, to be perfectly honest, that hurt my ears more than anything and left a sour taste in my mouth.

Concentrating on the clicking of my heels on the pavement, I successfully ignored Evan, just like I wanted to. I ran my fingers through my curly brown hair, kicking my door open lightly with my foot. Flipping on the lights, I yawned as Evan continued to speak behind me. His words were slightly slurred, telling me that he was still feeling the effects of the alcohol. My phone buzzed in my bra while I kicked the heels off of my feet.

You left?! Were you okay to drive? You didn't die did you?! The text from Kendall read. Sighing, I typed back a quick reply, telling her that I had sobered up pretty quickly. I'm sure she'll understand that.

Evan followed me into my room, walking so close behind me that he almost stepped on my heels. The apartment was empty, but I knew it would be after not seeing Calli's car in the parking lot, her normal spot was empty.

I slid my dress down my legs, standing just in my bra and underwear.

"Avery, will you listen to me?!" Evan finally yelled out in frustration. I turned on my heel, looking at him with wide, annoyed eyes.

"What?" I asked irritated, crossing my arms over my chest. I took note that Evan's eyes didn't dare to trail down my bare body with a smirk like they usually would. He fixed his brown eyes focused on mine.

"I swear I didn't do anything, she just came over and sat on my lap as soon as you came in," he spoke, taking a step towards me. I shrugged.

"Okay," I allowed calmly, brushing him off.

"Why are you so mad at me, Av?" He asked pathetically as my fingers fumbled with the latch of my bra, slipping it off and letting it fall to the floor. I rolled my eyes and I saw Evan suck in a deep breath.

"I'm not," I replied shortly, bending over to pick up a random tee shirt off the floor. I slipped it over my head, feeling my brain thumping and aching as the seconds slowly ticked by. I just wanted to kick Evan out, crawl in bed and cry my eyes out.

"Then why won't you talk to me?" He demanded, raking his fingers through his freshly cut hair. I pursed my lips.

"Evan, you need to leave," I told him, walking to my window to close the blinds. When I turned around, Evan's face was scrunched in confusion.

"I can't stay with you tonight?" He asked, reminding me of a lost child, or a kicked puppy. "Av, I always stay with you on game nights," he almost whispered. I sighed loudly, rubbing my face hard with the palm of my hands.

"Seriously, Evan, I need to be alone tonight," I repeated, this time with a bitchy edge, dripping with finality. Evan's eyes burned into me as a breeze from the cracked window washed over my bare legs.

"I understand, you need your space, I respect that," he nodded, "But, Av, I swear I didn't cheat, and I will never, ever do that to you again," he told me with as much seriousness he could muster up, sincerity flooding his voice. He eyes bored into mine intensely for a long moment. Finally, I took a step forward as he turned around.

He turned towards me just before he took the last step out the front door.

"I'm sorry, I love you," he whispered. I bit my lip and nodded, feeling a guilty pang jolt through my entire body as he let out a breath and walked out of the door. I closed the door, not bothering to lock in just in case Calli decided to come home tonight.

I waited a second, just standing in front of my door, waiting for Evan to knock on the door and make me listen to him. I wanted him to push open the door, ignore my threats to call the cops. Then he would push me against the wall and crash his lips against mine to shut me up.

But he never came. So I leaned up against the wall behind the door, and slid down to the floor. Wrapping my arms around my knees that were pushed to my chest, I let out the sob that had been building up for the past half hour like a tidal wave.

If it were any other girl, I wouldn't have been upset about it. It would have been a great opportunity for me to pretend like I was mad and cause some problems. But as soon as I saw the blond hair, teased into wavy curls that cascaded down her back, the air left my body and I couldn't breath. Every amazing, dreamlike feeling that the alcohol gave me was cast away, my mind becoming numb and unbearably sober. Her blue eyes looked up at my tauntingly as Evan's fingers slipped out of hers and he stood to rush over to me.

Pony let out a string of obscenities to show his distaste to the happening, but I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. Everything was a blur, the colors all smudging together. Matt worriedly called out my name from somewhere I couldn't specify as I started to blink repeatedly and take shallow, frantic breaths.

So I walked out. I ignored Matt as he once again called out to me, Ben as he said something to Lily, Jake as he stared at his sister with wide eyes, whispering how sorry he was as I brushed by him. Mostly, I ignored Evan as he also spoke my name, following closely behind me. Danny stopped me at the door, his warm hand wrapping around my waist.

"Call me if you need me," he had told me, looking down at me with his blueish green eyes. I knew what he meant. If I needed anyone to come get Evan away from me and my apartment, I could call Danny. But I doubted that would be a problem. Either way, I nodded, feeling him release my wrist. All I needed right now was to get out of that apartment. And that's just what I did.

My sobs racked through me, rocking my body viciously with their wake. I was glad I was alone, my gasps as I tried desperately to get air into my lungs were louder than thunder, bouncing off of the walls of the narrow entry hall, rebounding back to me. I knew my neighbors could probably hear me, but at this point, I was in hysterics and I could hardly care.

It didn't take long for my throbbing head to drift off to another world. The tears dried on my cheeks as my eyes closed in exhaustion. Leaning my head back against the wall, I didn't get up. My body refused to move, my muscles frozen, and I fell asleep, just like that.

My dreams were blank, but made my heart ache and my head spin. Just a white space of nothing, with the most gorgeous lily flowers blooming from every open space I could see. It was a nightmare.

I woke up only about a half hour later when my phone started to go off somewhere around me. I felt around, not finding it on the floor, so I opened my eyes. I squinted in the light, but found my lit up phone regardless.

Just letting you know, your boyfriend is passed out in front of your door. It was from my neighbor from across the hall, Jeremy. He was a student at the University also, in his sophomore year. I knew he was probably just getting in from the Saturday night parties. I dropped my phone in my lap, not bothering to reply. I closed my eyes again, rubbing them with the back of my hands. Yawning, I contemplated my options.

After a few minutes, I stood from the floor. I tiptoed across the carpeted floor, the slightest sound causing my head to beat harshly in rhythm with my heart beat, pulsing against my skull. I wrapped the large fleece blanket in my arms, and started my way back towards the entry hallway. Flipping off the lights, I kicked my again vibrating phone further into my house.

I opened and closed the front door as quietly as I could. Evan was leaned against the wall beside the door, just an inch away from the door frame. He looked uncomfortable, and his face was slightly distorted, but he looked peaceful, just like he always did when he was asleep.

I crawled into his lap, sitting between his legs. Leaning back into his chest, I pulled the blanket over the both of us, as he shifted, wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt him kiss the hair that acted like a curtain over my neck. Cuddling into him, I closed my eyes, falling back asleep easily.