I Had It All

I kissed the tip of Kelsey’s nose, making her giggle. She snuggled closer to me, tucking her head into my neck. “I love you, Kelsey,” I whispered.

“I love you, too, Alex.”

She lifted her head from my neck and looked at me seriously. “You know, we’ve been dating for almost a year now. All my friends are surprised you’re still going out with me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I inquired.

“Well… they just… thought you’d have tried to bed me by now.”

“Kelsey, I wouldn’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. You know that,” I told her honestly.

“I know. And that’s why I love you.” She smiled and kissed my lips lightly.

I sighed. “I can’t believe we’re about to be seniors…”

“I know. Just one more year before we can finally leave that hellhole!” she laughed.

“Yep. I’ll be on tour and you’ll be the biggest writer in the world,” I smiled dreamily, playing with her wavy brown hair.

“I don’t know about the biggest…” she chuckled. “I’m kind of getting tired. I think I’m going to get my pajamas on.” She grabbed clothes and changed in the bathroom connected to my bedroom, and I changed in my room.

She came out with pink pajamas on and crawled into bed with me. She wrapped her arms around my torso and smiled. “Good night. I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too, Kelsey.” I held her close and couldn’t help but think how lucky I was to be with such an amazing girl as her blue eyes shut and she drifted asleep.

-Three Years Later-

“Dammit, I ran out of cash for beer. Spare some?” Jack asked when the bus stopped.

“Yeah, here’s my wallet. Take whatever, just make sure to get a lot.” I took my wallet out of my pocket and tossed it to him.

“Thanks man!” He headed off the bus in search of a liquor store in the new town, and I sat back, relaxing into the couch as Rian and Zack argued over who was better at whatever video game they were playing. I had to laugh at how serious they were about the game.

“NO! You can’t even get past level ten!” Rian shouted, pointing towards our bassist.

“Level ten is fucking hard, okay?” Zack said defensively. “And if I remember correctly, it took you two whole months to pass that level when you first played it! I’ve only been playing for a few days and I’m almost past it.”

“Whatever, dude. I’ll believe it when I see it,” Rian challenged, violently throwing the game controller to Zack.

“Oh, it’s on, motherfucker.”

I watched in disbelief as they continued to argue for the next half hour, taking turns playing in an attempt to prove who had more skill at the game.

I heard feet on the front steps of the bus, and sure enough, Jack emerged in the threshold, balancing two huge cases of beer in his arms. The booze alone was enough to distract Rian and Zack from their game long enough to tear open the box and grab their own cans.

Jack fished my wallet out of his back pocket, but when I went to grab for it, he swiftly pulled it back, a smirk on his lips. “Ah ah ah!”, smiled, shaking his head and waving his index finger at me like I was a child being told I couldn’t get the box of sugary cereal in the supermarket.

“Jack, what the fuck. Just hand me my wallet,” I reasoned with him.

“Not until you explain this!” he exclaimedjokingly, digging through my wallet until he lifted out what appeared to be a photograph. “Why is this still in your wallet, mister?” He waved the picture around in front of me, but I stole it away from him, examining the person. I cursed myself inwardly that I hadn’t just given him the booze money instead of my whole wallet. I really didn’t want anyone knowing I still kept that photo. “Kelsey Gates?” he asked smugly.

I was trying to act as if I didn’t care about the picture, as if it was just something I hadn’t gotten around to disposing of. “Oh, you know. I just…always forgot to throw it out,” I told him nonchalantly. Which, of course, was a lie; I had never intended on ever discarding that photo.

“So then, you wouldn’t mind if I did…” his paused, taking the image away from me, and holding it in both of his hands over the waste basket, “this?” He proceeded to tear it, but only enough that the white edges framing Kelsey’s face got ripped.

My eyes widened in shock, and I reached out, grabbing it from him before he could cause any further damage to the only thing I had left of the only girl I’d ever truly loved.

“Aha!” Jack said triumphantly. “I knew you still loved her…” He laughed, shaking his head and grabbing a can of beer.

“Asshole,” I muttered under my breath before taking a moment to admire the snapshot. I felt a pang of regret jabbing my chest as I adored that unforgettable face. Baby blue eyes, long, thick, dark brown hair, with full, kissable lips, and an omnipresent stunning smile. My memory flashed back to the time I took that shot. She didn’t even know I had a camera with me, I just told her to turn around, and clicked the camera right in her face. She was so gorgeous and photogenic that, even if she were caught off-guard, she would have never taken a bad picture.

“God, Alex, stop staring at what is no more, and get your ass over here! Enjoy what is!” Zack slurred drunkenly, lifting up a can of beer victoriously. “Come have a drink with your friends!”

I sighed, safely depositing the only photo of Kelsey Gates that I still had back into my wallet. It was the first picture in my wallet, before anyone else. That had always been where I’d kept that picture, even back to when we were dating. Just like she had always held a special place in my wallet, she always held a special place in my heart.