I Had It All

“So how are things in your life lately?” I asked awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

Kelsey took a deep breath and picked at her salad with her fork, and looked up. Her eyes met mine and she smiled sweetly, her expression full of sincerity. “Could be better right now.” She then dropped her eyes back to her food, and I had no idea why saying something like that would cause her to smile like she had.

“How about you?” she asked, taking a bite of her salad.

I shrugged. “Could be better right now,” I mocked, with a teasing smile.

She rolled her eyes, but laughed lightly nonetheless.

“Remember that necklace you wanted when we were at the mall? The silver one with the heart?”

Kelsey instantly looked up, curiosity evident in her eyes. “Yeah…”

I blushed, suddenly feeling like maybe I should have kept my mouth - and wallet - shut. “I, uh, um…I thought that, you know, since you seemed to really like it, that I’d get it for you?” My eyes were glued to my food, tactfully avoiding her questioning gaze.

“Oh, oh jeez, Alex, no! You don’t have to buy me that. I mean, I liked it, but the price tag was outrageous. Don’t worry about that,” she chuckled reassuringly.

I gulped. “But, um, I actually already did get it for you… See?” The blue box was stuffed in one of my jacket pockets and I fished it out, setting it on the table between us.

Kelsey just looked at it. Then she looked at me. And then back to the box. “Alex…”

“No, don’t worry about it. You deserve it. Just take it.”

She looked at me thoughtfully before lifting the box from the table’s surface and popping it open. Without a word, she slid it on backwards, clasping it closed from the front then sliding it around her neck.

“Thanks, Alex. That was really sweet of you.”

Her smile was genuine, and for the first time in a long time, so was mine.

-Kelsey’s Point Of View-

The lights were off. The only illumination was the dim colors emitted from the television screen. Staring blankly at the screen, I couldn’t help but think, Was this where I was meant to be? What would my life be like if I hadn’t screwed everything up back in high school? Would Alex hate me if he knew what really happened?

My fingers vacantly fumbled with the heart pendant resting on my chest, hanging loosely from the thin, silver chain.

Bang.

The front door slammed closed. “Kelsey?” Ian asked, stepping in from the apartment hallway. “What’re you doing?”

“N-nothing,” I lied.

His dark figure was merely outlined due to the darkness in the house. I saw his muscular figure saunter slowly into the living room and stop in front of the television screen, allowing me to finally see him more clearly. His dark-wash jeans were ripped slightly at the knees, with a path of fresh mud trailing from the cuff to the shin. His head hung low, with hair sloppily falling into his eyes. Blue eyes narrowed at me from above, dissecting every move I made.

“I was out in the pouring rain looking for you for three hours.” Ian’s voice was calm and steady, but with a hidden discreet edge.

“I’m sorry, Ian, I was out-”

“I know you were out, Kelsey. That’s fine. But why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? Why didn’t you tell me who you were with?”

He was stepping closer to the couch, leaning forward. “Where’d you get that necklace?”

My eyes bulged when I realized I was still fumbling with the heart.

“I’ve never seen it before.”

“I went out with a friend and we went shopping,” I whispered, not technically lying.

“Next time,” he said quietly, getting into my face, “Tell me where the fuck you’re going!” And with that, he struck me hard across the face and stalked up the staircase. He left me on the couch, imperfect once again.

"Hours pass
And she still counts the minutes that I am not there
I swear I didn’t mean for it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised."