I Had It All

-Flashback-

Jack’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“What the hell is that about?” I asked shortly. I hadn’t been in the best of moods since what happened to Kelsey. I loved her too much to be so blasé and carefree after what happened to her.

He kept quiet and instead nodded his head at something beside us. Low and behold, Ian Gordon was walking across the cafeteria, tray in hand, followed by his “posse”, as he called them. They were essentially just his fellow members of the football team who duplicated Ian’s every move.

“I fucking hate that asshole. Hate him,” I seethed, narrowing my eyes at the smug-looking football player as he sat down at his usual table. Jack was the only person I’d told about what happened to Kelsey, so he was well-aware of why I deplored him.

“You should kick his ass,” Jack suggested.

“Kelsey would kill me if I did that. Trust me, I want to fuck him up so bad, but Kelsey would never forgive me.”

“I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t hate you for beating him up. He asked for it, the bastard.”

-------

No matter how hard I tried and no matter what I did, Kelsey still remained quiet and aloof. I hated that. I hated knowing that she was hurt and that it affected her so much. A week later, and she still kept mostly to herself, locked in her bedroom. I was usually the one to initiate our meetings anymore since she would either skip school or sit in the back corner of the classroom then scurry to her next class unnoticed, and then go home and hide until the next day. I missed her.

“Hey Kelseykins,” I said sweetly as I stepped into her dimly-lit bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind me. As soon as the final bell for school rang, I dashed to my car and drove straight to my girlfriend’s house since she skipped.

She was lying on her side under her blue comforter facing the wall, her thick, wavy brown hair sprawled across her pillow. She didn’t turn to look at me; instead, she just mumbled something incoherently.

I let it pass, and sat on the side of the bed she wasn’t facing. The mattress shifted slightly under my weight, and she put a hand out in front of her to support her so she remained on her side without rolling over. My long legs dangled over the side of the bed and I softly rubbed her back comfortingly. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly.

Kelsey groaned, clearly not wanting to discuss it.

“Do you want me to leave?” I asked, desperately hoping she said no; I just didn’t want to bother her if she wanted to be left alone, but I didn‘t want to leave her by herself, either.

“Nooo,” she whined, finally flipping over to her other side to look at me. Her eyes were pink and puffy and her face was swollen and tear-streaked. She reached out both of her arms and grabbed my torso, pulling me down to lay next to her. “Don’t leave,” she whispered.

“I won’t. Not ever.”

-Present Day-

Sweat dripped from my shaggy hair into my eyes, and I couldn’t have possibly felt more disgusting. But at the same time, I felt amazing. Music was one of the two most important things to me.

We didn’t have any time to party or do anything exciting after the meet and greet, because we all had to hastily take showers and get on the bus to make it to tomorrow’s photoshoot. There weren’t any available showers where the photos were being taken, so this was our one chance.

After I dried up and put my clothes on, I returned to our bus just in time for us to go to the next town for the shoot.

“Thank god we took showers; Alex, you smelled like shit,” Rian said honestly.

“Thanks, man,” I replied with a grin.

Life was perfect. Almost. I couldn’t help but think how much my life would be different if I could go back in time. If I could go back and change that one day…everything would be different. I’d be on top of the world.

It’s amazing how one mistake with the best intentions can cause so much pain and heartache.