One Last Wish

Two weeks past and not a day went by when Brian didn’t spend some time with Molly. The pair had grown very close to each other and in all honesty they had fallen in love with each other, but both found it too painful to admit it to the other. Most nights Brian would end up spending the night with her. After his argument with Michelle the day he went shopping with Molly, Michelle moved out and the two avoided the subject as much as possible.

Molly stirred, awake but keeping her eyes shut. It would use too much energy to open them and she didn’t have that much to spare. She’d open them when she needed to. Arms tightened around her as she inhaled Brian’s scent, sighing contently.

“Morning beautiful.” His whispered husky voice murmured against the top of her head which was buried into the crook of his neck.

“You must be blind, crazy or someone else has snuck into the room, because I know you can’t be talking to me, I don’t have to see a mirror to know that I must look like death warmed up this morning.” She replied her eyes still shut.

She felt Brian turn his head and kiss her forehead. “Call me crazy all you want, I’ll still think you’re beautiful.” Molly smiled at his compliment as she pulled herself closer to him, leaving no room for air between them.

They lay in content silence for a long while, Molly trying to conserve as much energy as possible, as Brian played absentmindedly with her hair.

“So what’s our plan for today?” Brian asked breaking the silence.

“As little as possible.” She replied quietly.

“You not feeling great again?” he asked; it had been the third day in a row where she’d barely had enough energy to get out of bed.

“I just feel drained again.” she said quietly, opening her eyes for the first time that morning and looking up into his saddened brown ones.

“You want to crash on the sofa again?” he whispered, his hand reaching up to brush the stray hairs out of her ashen face.

“No, it looks like it’s going to be a lovely breezy day.” She began lifting her head so that it was resting on his chest so she could see out of the window. “Do you mind if we go out into the garden?”

“Whatever you want.” Brian replied with a smile as she tilted her head up to look at Brian as he gently lowered his lips to hers, her eyes fluttering shut again at the sensation.

“What’s the time anyway?” she asked, not finding enough energy to open her eyes again. She felt Brian move, stretching up to see the clock.

“Twenty past ten.” He replied as he settled his head back onto the pillow, his arms securing themselves around her again.

“You’ll be wanting breakfast soon I guess?” she asked.

“No.” Brian replied just as his stomach growled, betraying him. Molly giggled, feeling him clutch his stomach as he cussed under his breath.

“Ok, so I could eat something. How about you?” he replied.

“I’m not really hungry.” She replied.

“Molly, you’ve barely eaten in three days, you’ve got to eat something.” Brian said quietly, his voice full of concern.

“What’s the point, I’m only going to throw it back up again. I’m fed up of feeling sick Bri, please don’t make me eat.” She pleaded; opening her eyes again, tears glazing her faded green orbs.

“Ok, I won’t force you, I just hate seeing you like this, so weak.” He replied.

“Thank you. now, go get something to eat, I need to take a shower.” She replied, slowly moving herself off his chest.

“No, you’re going to stay there, and I’m going to help you shower after I’ve eaten.” He replied.
Molly opened her mouth to reply but Brian spoke before and words could come out.

“Promise me you’ll wait until I come back.” He said sternly.

“You’re lucky I don’t have the energy either to argue or actually get out of bed on my own.” She replied with a faint smile.

“Good, won’t be long.” He replied with a half smirk as he leaned over to kiss her lips before getting out of bed.

Molly and Brian spent most of the day in the garden, stretched out on the long hammock. Molly was curled up comfortably in Brian’s embrace as she read some of her favourite Hans Christian Anderson stories, while her iPod played her favourite songs.

In the late afternoon, she had gotten tired and had given up on reading, choosing to just lie in Brian’s arms. She tried to remain silent, keeping her concentration on not letting the pain through. As she lay silent, her mind however, was working overtime. She knew she didn’t have long left to make sure she had everything the way she wanted it.

“Brian?” she asked quietly, not moving an inch.

“Yes.” He replied simply.

“Do you think you and Michelle will get back together?” she asked her voice barely above a whisper. He was silent for a long moment, only a small sigh escaping past his thin lips.

“Probably not, I don’t have feelings for her anymore; and she said some things I can’t forgive her for.” He replied sadly.

“I’m sorry.” She replied quietly.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” He replied, his lips brushing the top of her head.

“Can I ask you to do something for me?” she asked after a brief moment of silence.

“What is it?” he asked.

“The next tattoo you get, can you ask them to use some of my ashes in the ink? I’ve seen them do it on Miami Ink.” She asked.

“Do you have a design in mind?” he replied.

“You’ll do it?” she asked sounding surprised.

“Of course I will.”

“Thank you, but um, no, I didn’t have a design in mind, maybe just something small to symbolise the past couple of weeks we’ve spent together.” she replied. “Bridget is getting a Guardian Angel done.”

“Cool, I’ll have a think about a design, make sure it’s perfect.” He replied.

They slipped into another comfortable silence; Molly breathing in Brian’s scent as he played absentmindedly with her hair. The silence was only broken when Bridget returned from work.

“You guys still out here?” she asked more in the form of a statement. “Have you actually moved today?”

“We’ve had no reason to.” Molly replied, slowly opening her eyes to look up at her best friend. “Oh hey Mark.” She added as she looked up to see Bridget’s boyfriend taking a seat opposite them.

“Hey Mol, how you feeling today?” he asked.

“Like the Grim Reaper’s knocking.” She replied half heartedly.

“That bad hey?” he replied.

“He’s not too far off now.” She replied.

“Do you have to talk about it so casually?” Bridget snapped turning and quickly making her way back into the house. Molly gave an exasperated sigh. Although Bridget was supportive and knew that Molly didn’t have long left, there was the odd occasion when she didn’t like to think about when the cancer would completely win and she’d loose her best friend.

“You’ll make sure she’s ok, support her through this won’t you?” she asked Mark as he stood up ready to follow her.

“Of course I will Molly, I love her, I’ll make sure she get’s through it.” He replied before walking back into the house.

“You’ll all support each other won’t you.” she asked.

“Of course we will.” Brian replied, placing a kiss on her temple.

“Good, cos it mean’s a lot to Me.” she replied quietly.

“I’m not going to lie Mol, it’s going to be hard, but we’ll support each other when the time comes. We’ll get through it.” He replied lacing his fingers with hers as he placed a kiss on her temple again.

“Molly, I’m sorry.” Bridget said as she came back out, her hand tightly in Marks.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so insensitive.” She replied in a whisper.

“Molly I should be able to cope with the way you handle this by now, you’re so brave in the way you’ve handled this from the very beginning and it’s about time I was too and come to terms with the way you handle it.” She replied, crouching down so that she was level with her.

“I love you.” Molly whispered, breaking away from Brian’s embrace to place her arms around Bridget.

“I love you too.” she replied. “Now, I’m going to make us some dinner, I was thinking Spaghetti Bolognese if you’re up for it?” she added as she stood back up, wiping the unshed tears from her eyes.

“That sounds great.” She replied with a whisper and a faint smile.

“Great, I’ll leave you two to it, I’ll call you when it’s ready.” She said with a smile as she and Mark made their way back into the house, once again leaving Brian and Molly on their own. Slowly she turned her body so that her head was resting on Brian’s chest, her arms wrapped around his waist.

She was about to open her mouth to talk when she realised that he had started to hum a tune. It’d didn’t take her long to realise that it was actually ‘Dear God’ that he was humming. She sat in silence as she listened to him, her hand blindly searching for his, entwining their fingers when she found it.

When he had finished the song he placed another lingering kiss on her temple. She took a deep breath before gently and slowly raising their entwined hands to kiss his hand.

“Brian, there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a while now but I’ve been too scared to.” She said quietly.

“Sounds ominous.” He replied, placing his finger under her chin to tilt it upwards so that their eyes met. “But you can tell me anything.” He added in a whisper.

She nodded silently, tears filling her eyes as she looked up into his brown pools.

“Brian, since finding out that I had cancer, most of the people I’ve cared about have left me, they haven’t been able to deal with the fact that it’s going to win, that they’d have to watch me die at some point. Even my own parents couldn’t stand by and support me. I was left with only Bridget and Mark to support me through this, that is until I met you. You’ve made these past couple of weeks so much easier for me, helped me forget at times that I haven’t got much longer.” She paused to catch her breath.

“Molly, I…”

“No wait, I haven’t finished.” She said stopping him going any further.

“Brian, what I’m trying to say, is that over the past few weeks you’ve helped me, you’ve made one of my wishes come true and thanks to you I’ve experienced something I thought I’d missed my chance at and I don’t care if you don’t feel the same, but I’ve got to tell you before it’s too late. Brian. I love you.”

She closed her eyes once she’d finished not sure if she wanted to hear his reply, that is if he would reply at all.

“Molly, I love you too.” Brian replied, causing her heart to skip a beat. Taking a brief moment to digest his words, Molly swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat as she tilted her head to look up at him.

“You do?” she asked as if she was scared that she’d misheard him.

“Yeah, I do.” He whispered back with a smile. She returned the smile, reaching up to place her lips against his. As he kissed her back, she reached further up, wanting to feel more in the kiss. She closed her eyes as the kiss intensified, his hand cupping her cheek gently as his tongue slipped slowly into her mouth. A moan escaped her mouth as she put everything she had into that one kiss, every ounce of energy. They could have been kissing for seconds, minutes or even hours. Time seemed to stand still, like the world had stopped turning and it was only the two of them.

Finally she pulled away from him, staring up into his deep chocolate brown eyes with a wide smile before turning her head and resting it with a tired sigh against his chest again. She wrapped her arm around his waist as she felt him secure his arms around her, placing a kiss to his temple. She let out a content breath and closed her eyes.

It wasn’t until he had to take a breath of his own that Brian realised that Molly hadn’t. He froze, hoping that the thought that had crossed his mind was wrong. He opened his eyes slowly, staring down at her still body, watching for just the smallest sign. His jaw tightened and tears brimmed his eyes when he realised that the sign wasn’t there. She was completely still.

Slowly, he reached his hand down, shaking uncontrollably, slowly reaching out his index finger to lift her chin to look at her. Her eyes remained shut, her lips together with a small smile.

“No.” he breathed silently as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“No, Molly, please.” He repeated quietly even though he knew it was no use. She was gone. His arms wrapped around her lifeless body, holding her as close as possible to his chest as tears fell freely down his face. He held her there silently crying, his heart breaking until Bridget stepped back out into the garden.

“Dinner will be served in…Brian? What’s wrong…?” she called, coming to a quick halt when she saw the tears streaming down Brian’s cheeks.

“She’s gone.” He said in an almost inaudible whisper.

“Oh God No! No!” she sobbed, collapsing to the floor beside the hammock, tears of her own quickly falling. They were quickly joined by Mark, who joined Bridget, comforting her.

Brian held her in his arms until the doctor arrived to officially confirm her death. That night he didn’t sleep. Instead he sat in her room remembering. For a while he sat and listened to stories from Bridget, until Mark decided that they should all try and sleep. Brian tried, but failed. Once he was alone, he continued to look through the photo albums she’d kept, looked through the memory boxes she had and even began to read the journals she’d told him that he could read when she’d gone.

The following morning he and Bridget began to make the necessary arrangements for the funeral, following the instructions Molly had left in her Will.

On the morning of the funeral Brian stood in front of the mirror, making sure his purple tie was straight before placing his black fedora onto his head, lowering it so that it covered his tear stained eyes.

He sat quietly in the passenger seat of Matt’s Escalade as he drove the guys up to Long Beach. With only Mark offering to be one of the pallbearers, Brian had asked the guys if they would step in to do the job, knowing that Bridget would need Mark with her for support. They agreed without question, only wanting to show their support for their best friend who had lost someone he had loved.

Watching the four guys carrying the casket into the small chapel, Brian couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face at the sight before him, knowing that Molly would be laughing herself at the sight of the three guys having to stoop slightly to make up for the height difference between them and Johnny who was trying to make himself look as tall as possible.

As they began to follow, Bridget took hold of his hand, looking up at him with a weak smile. He nodded silently, returning her smile as he allowed more tears to make themselves known. He sat and listened to the minister say his bit, followed by Bridget and then he too slowly stood up and made his way to the front, taking his place beside her casket. He took a long shaky breath before he began.

“I didn’t know Molly that long, less than six weeks actually. We met after her best friend wrote to me on her behalf asking if it’d be possible for me to fulfil a wish of hers and take her out on my bike. Of course I jumped at the chance; I’ve never been one to turn down a beautiful lady. After spending just that one afternoon with Molly, I knew there was something special about her and I knew I needed to spend more time with her. Even now, I still can’t put my finger on what it was exactly that drew me to her, maybe it was her positive personality, her beautiful smile, her sense of humour, or even just the way she made me feel when I was around her. What I do know is that in that short space of time, it was easy for me to fall in love with her, I just wish I’d had the guts to tell her sooner, and I’ve got to be grateful that she died knowing that I did. Life dealt Molly a shitty hand, but she made the most of it and as cliché as this sounds, I know that I’ve become a better person for knowing her. Molly was an amazing person who deserved better. I’m never going to forget the time I had with her.” he stopped, tears still streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks, and turned to face the casket. “Molly, I love you, and I’ll never forget you or our time together.” his voice quietened with these last words before he slowly returned to his seat.

The service drew to a close and Molly was finally cremated. The group returned to Bridget’s house for the wake, where Molly had insisted that they order pizza and listen to the music on her iPod, while they sat around trying to have fun. Brian tried hard to join in, to do what Molly had asked of them in her final letter. It was hard, but he managed it. He knew that he couldn’t let her down. He knew that he had to do it for Molly. It was going to be a tuff couple of months for him, but he knew he’d get through with it. He’d never been a great believer in spirits and the afterlife and such but that night, as he sat in the same place he’d last held Molly, glancing up at the clear night sky, there was something that told him that Molly would always be with him. And as he watched the stars shine in the sky above him, he suddenly realised that a star may just be the perfect tattoo to get to symbolise their short time together.