Status: Read Blog
Asylum
Not Alive
Frank POV
I've always wanted to know what death was like. Some say it's painful other's would say it’s so peaceful it's almost like your sleeping, you just never wake up. But I won’t know what's like. In case you’re wondering I didn't die, I wanted too but I didn't. Before I could even put on foot off the edge, I felt arms pull me down.
It was Gerard. He yelled at me telling me it was stupid to want to end my life. That he loved.
He loved me. I was so shock when I heard that. I forgot all that I had done. It was like for a short second my fears went away. He loved me. He was so lost in yelling at me he didn't even realize what he said until he was done.
I of course said it back, I did love him. It took until then to realize I did. The next day I was spent away. The doctor said it was wrong to love another boy and after almost killing myself I would be better off.
Never in my life did I fight so much to stay. I was being taken away from someone I love. Someone who was helping me get better. Someone who took time to show me fear will always be there but I couldn't let it get to me.
He told me he would wait on me. That they couldn't tear us apart. But I think they can. No one would wait on me, not even him. I'm not worth the time. Sure I could be getting better to get out of this place but even if I did he would be long gone. He would be leaving the other place soon.
All my hard working into getting better was a waste. After I was sent here I went back to my
old ways. I hardly left my room. I wouldn't speak to no one. I made it seem as if I wasn't even here, that I wasn't even alive.
Which to me I wasn't alive. The only time I was ever alive was when I was with Gerard. Now that he was taken away from me I no longer feel that way. The doctors keep telling me if I don’t change I won't ever leave. I don't care. I have nothing to leave for; I have no one to get better for. Gerard may have said he would wait for me but I know deep down he won't.
He can finally be free to find someone who wasn't insane like me. To find someone normal. Who knows maybe he will find a girl. He can have the whole dream. To get married and have kids. As for me I plan to spend the rest of my life in this place.
I've always wanted to know what death was like. Some say it's painful other's would say it’s so peaceful it's almost like your sleeping, you just never wake up. But I won’t know what's like. In case you’re wondering I didn't die, I wanted too but I didn't. Before I could even put on foot off the edge, I felt arms pull me down.
It was Gerard. He yelled at me telling me it was stupid to want to end my life. That he loved.
He loved me. I was so shock when I heard that. I forgot all that I had done. It was like for a short second my fears went away. He loved me. He was so lost in yelling at me he didn't even realize what he said until he was done.
I of course said it back, I did love him. It took until then to realize I did. The next day I was spent away. The doctor said it was wrong to love another boy and after almost killing myself I would be better off.
Never in my life did I fight so much to stay. I was being taken away from someone I love. Someone who was helping me get better. Someone who took time to show me fear will always be there but I couldn't let it get to me.
He told me he would wait on me. That they couldn't tear us apart. But I think they can. No one would wait on me, not even him. I'm not worth the time. Sure I could be getting better to get out of this place but even if I did he would be long gone. He would be leaving the other place soon.
All my hard working into getting better was a waste. After I was sent here I went back to my
old ways. I hardly left my room. I wouldn't speak to no one. I made it seem as if I wasn't even here, that I wasn't even alive.
Which to me I wasn't alive. The only time I was ever alive was when I was with Gerard. Now that he was taken away from me I no longer feel that way. The doctors keep telling me if I don’t change I won't ever leave. I don't care. I have nothing to leave for; I have no one to get better for. Gerard may have said he would wait for me but I know deep down he won't.
He can finally be free to find someone who wasn't insane like me. To find someone normal. Who knows maybe he will find a girl. He can have the whole dream. To get married and have kids. As for me I plan to spend the rest of my life in this place.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry. So sorry. Again sorry. I know I know....