Sequel: A New Kind of Denial ›
Undeniably In Denial
Camron
“Camron! Please! Camron, stop! Are you going to listen to what I have to say at all?” Reese yelled after me as I power walked down the snowy sidewalk with him following close behind.
“No!” I yelled.
“Why not? You didn’t even listen to my side of this,”
“Yes I did. You kissed her back. End of story,”
“No, not end of story. Camron…Camron…Camron! Listen to me damn it!” I was just going to keep walking, but the power and force behind that phrase made me stop and turn to look at him. Him just saying that made a shiver run down my back, and it wasn’t from the cold. I looked him in the eyes as he caught up to where I was and stopped. I still had my arms crossed over my chest, and I was about to open my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it. “I get why you’re mad at me, Camron, I really do. That’s why I broke up with Skye in the first place, but she didn’t just kiss someone. She was having full blown, whorish sex with the quarterback of the football team. On my couch, no less. She and I had been dating for two years and she was my first real love. When she kissed me tonight, it brought back every feeling I’d ever had for her and it felt like I’d been thrown back in time a year ago, before she cheated on me. It was like I didn’t realize what was going on until she pulled away. I'm sorry, Camron. You don’t know how sorry I actually am. I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel. I never meant to hurt you, Camron, believe me, please. I, I don’t know what else to say to you, because I've said everything I can think of. Please don’t do this.”
I just let him explain himself as I stood there, not interrupting him all the times I want to. When he stopped talking, I noticed that he had tears running down his cheeks. I think I did the same thing I did to him when he told me he wanted us to be a couple. I didn’t say anything for a while, because I was contemplating what to do and then I just leaned over to him and kissed him. It wasn’t a you’re forgiven kiss, it wasn’t a don’t worry about it kiss, because it was a goodbye kiss. Just a soft little brush of the lips and my hand held there afterwards to tell him not to talk. To tell him that I couldn’t take anymore words. Then I turned around and walked away again. He didn’t even try and call for me to come back. I kind of wanted him too, though.
I've not heard from Reese at all this past week. But a week isn’t really that long, if you think about it. Hopefully he’s just thinking about it or something. Or he thinks I won’t talk to him yet. Yea, let’s go with that. That’ll make me worry less. Maybe.
A month and still nothing. He might still be cooling down.
Why is he the one that needs to cool down? a voice in the back of my head asked. You’re that one that walked away from him.
Now it’s been two months. If we see each other at work, he’ll either completely ignore me, or just turn the other way really fast. It’s really starting to bother me.
Then maybe you should go talk to him! the voice told me. He’s waiting for you to say something.
Shut up, voice.
He’s quit his job at the mall. I went in there again, partly for my sister, and partly because I was going to say something to him, and I didn’t see him. So I decided to ask one of his co-workers. She said he quit a month ago and just told everyone that he’d found a better job.
Yea, cleaning out his father’s sock drawer would give him more money than that job would! He quit because of you, dumb ass!
Three and a half months and I haven’t had any contact with him. That hurts worse than the kiss with Skye, or this voice’s truthful stabbing words.
I've finally talked to him. Well, he talked to me. Through a text. But at least it’s something. Not what I’d wanted, but I’d ignored him for so long that I wasn’t going to get what I’d wanted. This text was more than I even deserved from him.
I was heading to my car on the last day of my junior year at school, when my phone went off in my pocket. It was on vibrate, so when it only buzzed once, I knew it was just a text, though I figured it to be from Vince or someone like that. I waited until I got in my car to pull it out and read it.
Camron, if you haven’t figured this out yet, we’re over. Don’t text me back, don’t call me, and don’t try to look for me. I'll be gone all summer and I'm going off to college next spring. I don’t want to see you or talk to you any time soon, so please don’t try to. After what happened at the dance, I hoped that maybe you’d call but you didn’t. I realize that you might have been waiting for me to call, but I figured if you wanted to talk bad enough you’d call. You were the one that walked away from me after all. And what the hell was that kiss? You don’t know how bad this hurts me right now. You were my first boyfriend and this is how we’re breaking up? It sucks, you know that? I hate it but after you freaked out over that tiny little kiss, this has got to be done. I'm going to miss you, hell, I already do miss you. I just want you to know that I really liked you; I think I almost loved you. I really did. But now we’ve both got to move on. Goodbye Camron.
-Reese-
The first though that ran through my head was, ‘how in the hell did he get all that into one text message?’ Then it hit me; he just broke up with me. I could feel the tears in my eyes and it was no surprise that they were there. This didn’t really come as a shock to me, but it sent shocks through me. I mean, it was May and we hadn’t talked since January, so I figured sooner or later we’d officially break up. But really? A text message breakup? Given, it was just about a letter, but still.
Ever since that night at the dance, I’d been sort of absent-minded at school and to my friends. They knew what happened though, and understood why I was all mopey. Lord only knows how I got through all my tests and finals.
I swear I must be the girl in the relationship, because as I've already mentioned, I was crying. Well, it wasn’t really too much of a relationship anymore. So I guess I'm just a girl.
“You have four new messages,” the automatic voice on the other end of my phone told me a month after I got Reese‘s breakup text. I tried avoiding my phone because of that, for some reason. I must have thought it would help, which it didn‘t.
“Message received at 3:15 pm yesterday from Vince. Hey Camron, I know you’re there. I know you’re ignoring my calls. But why? You’re ignoring everyone’s calls. Why? We miss you dude. None of us have heard from you since school let out. What’s up Cam?
“Message received at 8:47 pm yesterday from Mika. Cam, come on. Answer your calls already. We’re worried about you, bro. What’s going on? Did something happen with Reese? Or are you just still moping about him from January? Just talk to us, Camron. Please talk to us.
“Message received at 2:09 pm today from Vince. Oh my god! What is wrong with you? Get over yourself man. Don’t think we don’t care, because we do. And we can help you with whatever the hell you’re going through. Just let us in. Let us in and we can help! God!
“Message received at 4:23 pm today from Sasha. What the fuck is your problem dude? You’re moping around at school and then now you’re not talking to any of us? Your mom said you’re not talking to her either! She’s worried about you Camron, we all are! What is this, a gay soap opera? I know you hate those things, but you’re seriously acting like you live in one. It’s like you’re some poor housewife whose husband left! Did he? Did Reese finally call and break it off? Well, good! If it took him this long than he really is an asshole. Let him go, Camron. We need you back. I need you back. Please talk to us. Please. End of messages.”
I closed my phone shut and put it on my nightstand by my bed, lying back on my pillows and chuckling. She was right; I was acting like a soap opera wife. I shouldn’t be acting like that though. I'm not that much of a girl. I am being stupid, though, and I feel bad about it now. I didn’t realize how it was affecting my friends and the people around me. I laid there, thinking of ways that I could make it up to my friends. Once I figured it out, I picked up my phone and called Vince.
“Well hello there, Mr. I'm-gunna-ignore-my-friends-for-ever. Come out of our depression, have we? Good to hear, good to hear. You talking now?”
“Yea, uh, sorry about all that. I just checked my messages today and all of you guys really made me realize how much of a drama queen I was being. I miss you guys too, and I'm sorry for being such a douche. If you all can forgive me, I was thinking maybe we can all go out for ice cream or a movie or something. My treat; what d’ya think?”
“I think I'll call Mika and Aaron, and you call Kelly and Sasha? And tell them we’ll meet at the park across the road from the school?”
“Sounds great, Vince. See you guys all there.” I was smiling into the phone, even though he obviously could see me, because I was so glad that he wasn’t angry at me.
“Good to have you back, Cam,”
“It’s good to be back, Vinny,”
“No!” I yelled.
“Why not? You didn’t even listen to my side of this,”
“Yes I did. You kissed her back. End of story,”
“No, not end of story. Camron…Camron…Camron! Listen to me damn it!” I was just going to keep walking, but the power and force behind that phrase made me stop and turn to look at him. Him just saying that made a shiver run down my back, and it wasn’t from the cold. I looked him in the eyes as he caught up to where I was and stopped. I still had my arms crossed over my chest, and I was about to open my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it. “I get why you’re mad at me, Camron, I really do. That’s why I broke up with Skye in the first place, but she didn’t just kiss someone. She was having full blown, whorish sex with the quarterback of the football team. On my couch, no less. She and I had been dating for two years and she was my first real love. When she kissed me tonight, it brought back every feeling I’d ever had for her and it felt like I’d been thrown back in time a year ago, before she cheated on me. It was like I didn’t realize what was going on until she pulled away. I'm sorry, Camron. You don’t know how sorry I actually am. I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel. I never meant to hurt you, Camron, believe me, please. I, I don’t know what else to say to you, because I've said everything I can think of. Please don’t do this.”
I just let him explain himself as I stood there, not interrupting him all the times I want to. When he stopped talking, I noticed that he had tears running down his cheeks. I think I did the same thing I did to him when he told me he wanted us to be a couple. I didn’t say anything for a while, because I was contemplating what to do and then I just leaned over to him and kissed him. It wasn’t a you’re forgiven kiss, it wasn’t a don’t worry about it kiss, because it was a goodbye kiss. Just a soft little brush of the lips and my hand held there afterwards to tell him not to talk. To tell him that I couldn’t take anymore words. Then I turned around and walked away again. He didn’t even try and call for me to come back. I kind of wanted him too, though.
I've not heard from Reese at all this past week. But a week isn’t really that long, if you think about it. Hopefully he’s just thinking about it or something. Or he thinks I won’t talk to him yet. Yea, let’s go with that. That’ll make me worry less. Maybe.
A month and still nothing. He might still be cooling down.
Why is he the one that needs to cool down? a voice in the back of my head asked. You’re that one that walked away from him.
Now it’s been two months. If we see each other at work, he’ll either completely ignore me, or just turn the other way really fast. It’s really starting to bother me.
Then maybe you should go talk to him! the voice told me. He’s waiting for you to say something.
Shut up, voice.
He’s quit his job at the mall. I went in there again, partly for my sister, and partly because I was going to say something to him, and I didn’t see him. So I decided to ask one of his co-workers. She said he quit a month ago and just told everyone that he’d found a better job.
Yea, cleaning out his father’s sock drawer would give him more money than that job would! He quit because of you, dumb ass!
Three and a half months and I haven’t had any contact with him. That hurts worse than the kiss with Skye, or this voice’s truthful stabbing words.
I've finally talked to him. Well, he talked to me. Through a text. But at least it’s something. Not what I’d wanted, but I’d ignored him for so long that I wasn’t going to get what I’d wanted. This text was more than I even deserved from him.
I was heading to my car on the last day of my junior year at school, when my phone went off in my pocket. It was on vibrate, so when it only buzzed once, I knew it was just a text, though I figured it to be from Vince or someone like that. I waited until I got in my car to pull it out and read it.
Camron, if you haven’t figured this out yet, we’re over. Don’t text me back, don’t call me, and don’t try to look for me. I'll be gone all summer and I'm going off to college next spring. I don’t want to see you or talk to you any time soon, so please don’t try to. After what happened at the dance, I hoped that maybe you’d call but you didn’t. I realize that you might have been waiting for me to call, but I figured if you wanted to talk bad enough you’d call. You were the one that walked away from me after all. And what the hell was that kiss? You don’t know how bad this hurts me right now. You were my first boyfriend and this is how we’re breaking up? It sucks, you know that? I hate it but after you freaked out over that tiny little kiss, this has got to be done. I'm going to miss you, hell, I already do miss you. I just want you to know that I really liked you; I think I almost loved you. I really did. But now we’ve both got to move on. Goodbye Camron.
-Reese-
The first though that ran through my head was, ‘how in the hell did he get all that into one text message?’ Then it hit me; he just broke up with me. I could feel the tears in my eyes and it was no surprise that they were there. This didn’t really come as a shock to me, but it sent shocks through me. I mean, it was May and we hadn’t talked since January, so I figured sooner or later we’d officially break up. But really? A text message breakup? Given, it was just about a letter, but still.
Ever since that night at the dance, I’d been sort of absent-minded at school and to my friends. They knew what happened though, and understood why I was all mopey. Lord only knows how I got through all my tests and finals.
I swear I must be the girl in the relationship, because as I've already mentioned, I was crying. Well, it wasn’t really too much of a relationship anymore. So I guess I'm just a girl.
“You have four new messages,” the automatic voice on the other end of my phone told me a month after I got Reese‘s breakup text. I tried avoiding my phone because of that, for some reason. I must have thought it would help, which it didn‘t.
“Message received at 3:15 pm yesterday from Vince. Hey Camron, I know you’re there. I know you’re ignoring my calls. But why? You’re ignoring everyone’s calls. Why? We miss you dude. None of us have heard from you since school let out. What’s up Cam?
“Message received at 8:47 pm yesterday from Mika. Cam, come on. Answer your calls already. We’re worried about you, bro. What’s going on? Did something happen with Reese? Or are you just still moping about him from January? Just talk to us, Camron. Please talk to us.
“Message received at 2:09 pm today from Vince. Oh my god! What is wrong with you? Get over yourself man. Don’t think we don’t care, because we do. And we can help you with whatever the hell you’re going through. Just let us in. Let us in and we can help! God!
“Message received at 4:23 pm today from Sasha. What the fuck is your problem dude? You’re moping around at school and then now you’re not talking to any of us? Your mom said you’re not talking to her either! She’s worried about you Camron, we all are! What is this, a gay soap opera? I know you hate those things, but you’re seriously acting like you live in one. It’s like you’re some poor housewife whose husband left! Did he? Did Reese finally call and break it off? Well, good! If it took him this long than he really is an asshole. Let him go, Camron. We need you back. I need you back. Please talk to us. Please. End of messages.”
I closed my phone shut and put it on my nightstand by my bed, lying back on my pillows and chuckling. She was right; I was acting like a soap opera wife. I shouldn’t be acting like that though. I'm not that much of a girl. I am being stupid, though, and I feel bad about it now. I didn’t realize how it was affecting my friends and the people around me. I laid there, thinking of ways that I could make it up to my friends. Once I figured it out, I picked up my phone and called Vince.
“Well hello there, Mr. I'm-gunna-ignore-my-friends-for-ever. Come out of our depression, have we? Good to hear, good to hear. You talking now?”
“Yea, uh, sorry about all that. I just checked my messages today and all of you guys really made me realize how much of a drama queen I was being. I miss you guys too, and I'm sorry for being such a douche. If you all can forgive me, I was thinking maybe we can all go out for ice cream or a movie or something. My treat; what d’ya think?”
“I think I'll call Mika and Aaron, and you call Kelly and Sasha? And tell them we’ll meet at the park across the road from the school?”
“Sounds great, Vince. See you guys all there.” I was smiling into the phone, even though he obviously could see me, because I was so glad that he wasn’t angry at me.
“Good to have you back, Cam,”
“It’s good to be back, Vinny,”
♠ ♠ ♠
Part Two starts next chapter.