You're Just A Diamond In The Rough.

One week later, and my head was a mess. It was getting harder to be around Zack now knowing for certain that I did want more than friendship with him. I told Leana almost as soon as I’d realised and had to suffer the ‘I told you so’ rant about 12 times before she was happy for me. But I wasn’t happy, I was far from happy. How can I find joy at the fact I want someone who could never want me back? I’d had my chance with him all those years ago and I lost him and I lost my chance. My only chance and it hurt to think that I would now never be able to call him mine. I was jealous at every other girl I saw him talking to. Jealous because any of them could have him and I couldn’t.

Even worse was he hadn’t spoken to me in 3 days and I had no idea why. Everytime I asked one of the guys where he was no body knew and I was getting rather worried. I was now sat in Jimmy and Leanas hotel room. Everyone had gone to sight see, everyone except me and Leana who stayed behind and Zack who once again left without telling anyone.

“I just don’t get it.” I groaned from my position on the floor. “Where the hell has he been going? We’d gotten so close, how do you go from spending virtually every second with someone to ignoring their existence? It makes no sense. You don’t think he found out how I feel about him do you?” I asked, looking towards Leana in a panic. She rolled her eyes and put down the book that she’d been trying to read.

“I really don’t think he does. Maybe he’s realised he has feelings for you and doesn’t think you do back so he’s distancing himself?” She pondered thoughtfully. I hadn’t thought of that.

“You reckon?” I asked, scrunching my face up slightly in thought.

“It does seem like something Zack would do.” She said. “If you didn’t want to tell him how you felt about him because you didn’t want to ruin the friendship then what would you have to lose from telling him now? He’s already ruined the friendship.”

“You think I should tell him?” I asked, getting up and sitting on the sofa next to her.

“It’s up to you, I’m just saying you have nothing to lose now.” She replied. And she was right, what did I have to lose? For all I know he could feel the same anyway. I jumped up from the sofa, I needed to tell him. And I needed to do it now before I changed my mind.

“You’re right and I’m going to find him and do it right now.” I said whilst grabbing a hoody and pulling it over my t-shirt hastily. Leana got up quickly and stood in front of me.

“Charlotte, are you sure you want to do this?” She asked, but I was sick of playing by the rules here, I wanted to take a risk. And so I walked around her and out the door before she could say another word.

I wasn’t 100 percent sure but I had a gut feeling that he was in his room. Zack had been persistent on having his own room when we got into Greece a few days ago. This was hurtful because for the couple of weeks before this we had shared a room whenever we stayed in a hotel so we could stay up all night talking and goofing around. I sighed at the memory as I stormed down the corridor only stopping when I reached his door. I took a deep breath as I faced it before raising my fist and knocking three times. I heard shuffling and then Zacks beautiful voice.

“Must be room service.” He mumbled, muffled from the heavy wood door. I was extremely confused now.

Who was he talking to?

The door opened and there stood Zack in his boxers, his hair a scruffy mess on his head. I’d never seen him look so perfect in my life; I almost forgot how to speak.

“Charlotte.” He stuttered, eyes wide as they fell on me. “What are you doing here?” He attempted to leave the room and shut the door behind him but I didn’t want to say what I came here to say in the hallway. I stopped him before he could leave his room and pushed past him, entering inside instead.

“I need to talk to you.” I said, turning my back to the room to face him as he still stood frozen in the doorway. “Are you going to come in?” I asked, confused.

“Charlotte..” He started. I heard shuffling behind me and turned around confused at what the source of the sound could be. My mouth fell open as my eyes fell on a girl stood in the bedroom door way, a way to short dressing gown clung to her body. Her bleach blonde hair pulled up in a messy pony tail, a confused pout placed on her collagen injected lips. I swung back around to face Zack, who now had his forehead pressed against the wall, his hands in fists either side of his face.

“What the hell Zack? This is why you’ve been ignoring me ever since we got here?!” I exclaimed, trying to not let the hurt show in my voice as he turned to look at me. The last thing I wanted was for him to know how I felt about him now. He nodded slightly, looking down ashamed.

“Who is she?” I asked, glancing back at the plastic fake who was now only about a metre away from us.

“Charlotte, this is my.. umm.. my..” He stuttered, looking anywhere but at me.

“I’m your girlfriend silly.” She giggled in the most annoying high pitched voice to ever grace this planet. She shoved Zacks shoulder playfully. I wanted to snap her arm in two just for touching him. He never even looked at her, his eyes stayed locked on mine. He was trying to analyse how I felt about the situation but I was refusing to show my true feelings. Instead I plastered a fake smile on my face.

“Well.. I’m happy for you.” I said, trying to make it sound as real as I possibly could. It must of worked because ‘she’ started giggling and gushing about how amazing her pathetic life is. And Zack smiled back at me, almost believably but I saw in his eyes something different. I saw that he was hurt? What was he hurt about?

I didn’t stick around to find out, I walked past the happy couple to the door, I was just about to leave when Zack grabbed my arm, the familiar burning arose but now it just made me feel sick. He'd found someone and he would never want to be with me now.

“Charlotte, can we talk about this later please?” He asked, his beautiful eyes holding so much pleading that it caused me to nod my head and plaster the fake smile back onto my face.

“Yeah of course.” I said before walking away from him, trying to resist the urge to run as the past ten minutes sunk in and the feeling made my legs weak.

Heartbreak.