I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

I couldn’t believe it, he wanted to stay? I let out a quick relieved giggle and ran into my room to grab some of the band’s paper work, a pair of jeans, and a sweatshirt. I was pulling my jeans on with papers in my mouth as I exited my room. Gerard’s eyes widened when he saw me, pants half on half off, and he choked on his coffee. I laughed.

As I walked to the door I informed him, “I’ll be back in a couple hours. Tops.”

“Cool. Sounds good.”

“Cool.” I parroted it back in disbelief as sweetly as I could, and I meant every bit of it.

It was strange, us. It felt as though we had been doing this forever. Or at least more than once.

So, I headed out to fix whatever disaster occurred in my absence. It turned out that the colors of the cover had not been decided and the artist took some initiative and decided for them. The problem was the band hated it. After clearing the whole mishap up, I told the guys they could have the day off and I would finish everything else. Frankie offered to stay and I declined, but he stayed anyway. It wasn’t normal for me not to check my messages, and being my best friend, he wanted to know what was up.

“A hangover, huh? You’re usually good about those kind of things. I’m the one always needin’ ‘the cure’.” Frankie said, almost disappointed.

“Ha! Yeah, that’s true. I was surprised how bad it was today, actually.” There was a silence where I fiercely debated telling Frankie that Gerard had stayed the night, let alone was still there now.

“Do you have something to say?” Frankie could read me almost as well as his own mind.

“Yes, but I don’t think I will.”

“Um, yeah, there’s no way that’s happening. Spill it, bitch.”

“You have such a way with words.” I said dreamily as I looked at him in fake admiration, “It’s sexy, really.”

“So it had to do with a boy?”

“What?”

‘How did he know!? Frankie why do you know me so well!?!?!? TOO WELL!!’ I thought, but not too loud, I was pretty sure he was picking up some frequency somewhere.

“So it’s true then,” he looked off with a quiet ‘all-knowing’ look, “You can tell me. It’s me! Wait a second, you with Mikey’s brother last night, weren’t you!”

“You were with me!”

“But then I left. What did you do then, where is he now?” he sounded like my mother

I glared at him while I thought of an answer. I went down to tie my shoe, which didn’t have laces, and told the ground where he was. While still bent in half, Frankie laid down on the ground below me. He grabbed my ponytail that had flipped over my head, which caused me to yelp and asked me again. I kicked him in the side until he let go of my hair. I stood up and crossed my arms,

“He’s still in my apartment.”

Frankie, still laying down, propped himself up on his elbows, “What!” Then he burst out laughing. “Are you stupid or something? What if he’s stealing everything you own right now?!”

“He’s not!” I snapped “Right?” I realized at that moment Frankie probably knew more about him than I did because he knew Mikey.

Frankie was laughing and rolling on the ground, which reminded me of Gerard last night and then of him this morning. He wouldn’t take anything. I left Frankie on the floor and walked away because now I missed Gerard and decided to go home. The rest of the work would work itself out. Frankie finally realized I had left and started running after me. I decided to make him work for his ride and ran to my car, jumped in and locked the door just a millisecond before he reached for the handle.



“Who’s laughing now, bitch?” I smiled and stuck out my tongue at him.

“Please! Please let me in! I only make fun because I have no life, blah, blah, blah.” The last part was very sarcastic, you could tell we had done this before.

“Do it.” He rolled his eyes at my demand, “You have to do it or I won’t let you in.”

So, there we were in broad daylight and there’s Frankie singing ‘I’m A Little Teapot’ in downtown Newark. Hilarious as ever, Frankie sung his little heart out!



“Emote! Emote! What are you feeling?!” I yelled through the glass mimicking one of my drama teachers from high school. He flicked me off and I glared.

“What!” He said, “It’s what I’m feeling!”

I unlocked the car and he jumped inside.

“That always makes me feel better.” I said with tears running down my face.

“Well I hope you know we have to go back to your apartment now.”

“What? Why?”

“This is too unlike you, I have to see it for myself.”

“Whatever, man.”

I started to shake and there were fuckin bats in my stomach. And I have no idea why. Frankie’s my best friend and this is just some guy. We reached my door and I was shaking as I unlocked the door. Gerard had fallen asleep watching cartoons, but when we walked in he woke up. He poked his head over the couch and greeted us. I dropped my stuff on the kitchen counter.

“Frankie, right?” Gerard asked.

“Yep.” Frankie answered

“How’d the whole band thing turn out?”

“Fine. How’s your whole band thing going right now?”

I gave a questioning look to Frankie and then to Gerard. Gerard looked embarrassed. I waited for him to answer I didn’t want to push things this time.

“Since last night, well this morning... um, we have,” he stopped to let out a quick laugh, “our first show ever next Friday, in fact.”

“Really? I’d love to hear some of your stuff live.” I professed.

“So you’re the singer?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Hey you’ve met Ray Toro haven’t you?” Frankie pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, the metal kid from Kearny High.” I confirmed.

“He’s guitar.”

“He’s amazing.”

Frankie looked hurt. I rolled my eyes at the sight. and threw a nearby grape at his head.

“Ah, that hit my ear. They’re still ringing from last night.”

“Mine, too” I saw him eat the grape and gave him a look of disgust. “If you’re hungry, just tell me.” I joked.

“Ok, I’m hungry.”

“Really?”

“Yeah me, too.” Gerard added

“Well, I don’t have like anything here to eat, but we can go out. My treat.”

“Alright! My two favorite words.”

“I only do it because I know you’ll pay me back one day.”

“Psh, okay, princess.” Frankie headed for the door.

“Do you need to do anything before we leave?” I directed towards Gerard.

“You sure you want me to come?” Gerard asked.

“Absolutely, unless you don’t want to come. But what kind of person turns down free food?”

“That’s true.” He laughed.

Gerard started towards the door and I heard Frankie lean over to him and whisper. “Don’t worry she’s, basically loaded.”

I pushed passed them to the car and they both got into the back.

“Oh, I get to play chauffeur today, huh?”

“Shhh, the help doesn’t speak!”

“So I guess you want a plate of lima beans and broccolli for dinner!”

“I love you princess!” He blurted out almost immediately.

I looked back at Gerard through the rear view mirror and smiled. He smiled back. Frankie saw this and kicked my seat. (God, we were so young)

“So, where to?” I asked.

“Let’s let Gerard decide.” Frankie offered.

“It doesn’t matter really.”

“How about The Tick Tock?”

I look at Gerard and say, “You see, there is an all-you-can-eat buffet there.”

We both laugh at Frankie’s expense while he pouts and crosses his arms but eventually smiles.

“It’s just so delicious.” Frankie reasoned very matter-of-factly.

We arrived and all hopped out. Frankie ran to the front door obnoxiously, but Gerard stayed behind while I gathered my things. Walking to the entrance we were standing side by side and we did that awkward thing where your hands touch while in motion. It’s always weird when it happens because you never know whether to acknowledge the fact that it happened or pretend that it didn’t. We sat down at a curved booth and I sat between the two boys. Frankie broke the ice, well he broke something.

“So you haven’t gone home all day? Guess no one’s expecting you there.”

“Well I figured I’d give Mikey some time to cool down, I guess.”

“Oh my God, I have an idea! Why don’t we invite both of them here?” I suggested excitedly, “Lets call them. C’mon!” I gave him my “pretty please with pretty sugars on top” look.

“Okay.” Gerard agreed but he didn’t seem excited. But I was really curious and didn’t really care.

Gerard and I went outside to a phone booth and he called Mikey. He let me share the phone with him so our heads were touching when we heard it start to ring. Gerard did the same deep breath I heard Mikey take the night before, he was preparing himself.

“Hello?” I recognized Mikey’s girlfriend’s voice.

“Hey, Sid, it’s me. Let me talk to Mikey.”

“K, hold on a sec.” she responded pleasantly.
“Well what were you so hesitant about, they sound over it.” I remarked.

“I’m kinda surprised actually, I thought I really pissed them off. Cool.” he sounded happy, like this morning, he wasn’t dreading anything anymore.

“Hello?” Mikey sounded tired.

“Late night last night Mikey? What were you two up to?”

“Shut up Gerard. Where are you?”

“At ‘The Tick Tock’ down in Newark. Come have dinner with me. You and Sid.”

“Right. Since when do you have any money?”

“I’m buying tonight, no problem.”

“Who’s that?”

“I’m the pope! Just get your asses down here, pronto!”

“She is the pope Mikey. You better listen to her.”

“Well, I suppose we’ll be down there.” We heard Sid ask ‘What?’ in the background and Mikey just mumbled out, “I don’t know...”

Gerard and I looked back and forth at each other smiling like 8th graders on our way back to the table.

I was starving so I just ordered the buffet for everybody.

“Are they coming?’

“Yes, sir.“ I inform Frankie.

“Cool, me and Mikey go back, kinda.”

“Really? What does that mean? And how come I never knew about these people?”

“I don’t know it just never came up. Well I basically invited Mikey to every party I’ve been too. And he invited me to an Eyeball Records party one night, and that’s how we both have our jobs still.”

“Wow, I’ll have to give him a hug when he gets here. Tell me more about him.”

“Why? They’ll be here sooner or later.” Gerard said.
“True.”

We all went to fill our plates for the first of, I’m sure, many. Then sooner or later arrived and Mikey and Sid showed up. Gerard motioned them over where we were on our second entree of the night.

“Hey guys. Are you hungry?” Gerard greeted his brother and his other half.

“Hey. Um...” Mikey looks at Sido and shes returns the gaze. I saw a silent link of communication. “Yeah.” He said for both of them.

Frankie finally looked up from his plate, he pretended that he hadn’t seen them walk up.

“Mikey! What’s up? Dude, this food is so good it’s better than losing your virginity all over again.” Frankie said seriously.

“Is that so...” He said quietly as he raised his eyebrows above his glasses.

Frankie then got up from his seat and nudged Sid in the side. “C’mon, I’ll show you where all the good food is.”

“Okay, Frankie...” She doubted. He grabbed her hand. Mikey stayed behind and she looked back at him while she was being dragged to the meat counter.

“Hi.” I said breaking some brotherly silence. “Come sit down.”

“So have you, like, kidnapped my brother or something.”

“Not at all, he’s the one that didn’t leave,” I smiled at Gerard, he knew it wasn’t said to be mean.“I’m just extremely charming, I guess.”

Gerard smiled back and so did Mikey, but shortly.

“So how long have you known Frankie?” Mikey asked.

“Two years? I think that’s how long I’ve been putting up with him.” I laughed in rememberance. “We met when I started to co-manage Pencey Prep at Eyeball. I’ve worked there for two and a half years. Worked my way up. It’s been fun.”

“Really, I’ve always been kinda interested in working in a recording studio.”

“It’s very interesting, intense. There are very smart guys working there. They’re always looking for an extra hand. I’ve worked with some of the ProTools they have and you feel very cool and important.”

“Wow.” The two brothers commented in unison. I laughed at them, it was cute.
“Thursday’s on Eyeball aren’t they?” Mikey asked Gerard.

“Yeah, “ I said anwsering for Gerard, “they are. They work with my boss, and Pencey’s co-manager.”

“That’s right, you were at Sadie’s party.”

“Yeah, that was a fun party. It all turned out great in the end, though.” I smiled at Mikey, he made me smile, and whenever I was around him things happened that made me smile. “You never told him about all our fun, Gerard.” I turned to him waiting for him to continue.

“Oh yeah. Interesting, I don’t think Mikey has ever heard about one of my nights, he’s always been there.”

“Yeah, but usually people don’t like to remember them, this night sounds good.”

Gerard and I told Mikey the story. Gerard would start and I would interject things he forgot.

“No way! He fell on top of you after jumping out of a tree!” Mikey covered his face with his hand and then peeked between his fingers at me. “He’s crazy, right? I’m not the crazy one, right?”

“Oh my God, that’s what I kept saying to myself! So I’m not the only one?” We both laughed in understanding.

“I think I’ll call you the next time he acts up so we’ll laugh together...and cry in silence.”

We were all in stiches by the time Sid and Frankie came back with three plates of food.

“We better not be laughing at me again.” Frankie accused.

“Amazingly, we’re not.”

“What are we guffawing at then?” Sido said.

“Gerard.” Mikey replied. She took a seat next to him. I pushed Gerard to get out of the booth. Frankie set his plates down and asked where we’re going.

“To get a sugar fix, sugar.” I told him.

Gerard and I disappeared behind a giant ice cream machine.

“I should of known you and Mikey would get along.” he thought out loud.

“Really? You think so?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. So, what do you want to eat?”

“I kinda want an Irish coffee, or something else to drink.”

“Hmmm...thats sounds really good. Let’s do it. And we’ll come back.”