I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

I woke up the next morning to glaring light pouring into our room. I had to find some sunglasses and went to shut the curtains. My head spun as I walked around and I figured I’d need some coffee and a donut before it would stop. Sitting next to Gerard on the bed, I tried to wake him up.

“Hey, baby, get up,” He didn’t move, “C’mon, stupid, I need food.”

He grunted at me and rolled over.

“Wake the fuck up.”

He ignored my request. After a few more minutes of attempting to stir him, I quit.

“Fine, fucker. I’ll just go with Frank...” I paused for a jealous response, but got nothing.

I pulled on a hoodie, some jeans, and sandals. The sun made me flinch and put on my sunglasses and pulled my hood asfar over my head as it would go. I walked the two doors down to Frank and Jamia’s room. Frank would probably be awake, but not Jamia.

“Who is it?” Frank called from behind the door.

“Me.”

“Oh,” He opened the door and stood fully dressed, “Hey, Me. How’s it going?”

“Pretty good. Want some food?”

“As always.”

“Jamia up?”

“Not yet.”

“Wanna wait?”

“Do I ever?”

“Let’s go.”

“Cool.”

With that, Frank and I clumsily piled into my car. I put the car in gear when Ray walked in front of the car with a newspaper.

“Ho-la. ¿Te gustaría venir con nosotros?” I poked my head out of the window asked if he wanted to come with us.

“Where are you going?”

“Find some food.”

“Sounds good.”

Ray got in the backseat and we drove until we found a donut place. We brought three dozen back and gathered in Mikey and Sid’s room because they were both awake. After a couple baked goods and some coffee, I went to go get Gerard, thinking he’d be up.

I found him still asleep on his stomach.

“Baby, you have to wake up now. There’s donuts.” I pushed his hair back from his face, “Hello? Anybody home?”

He grunted again.

I searched for his hand under the covers. When I found it I pulled it to me and kissed it, but he yanked it away and rolled over facing away from me.

“Leave me alone.” He grumbled.

I was hurt, “Fine, then. Stay here with your hangover and no friends.”

I stormed out and slammed the door behind me. I muttered profanities under my breath as I walked back to Mikey’s room downstairs. It was just the way he spoke to me, it was so bitter, and I could tell he meant it.

Entering the room, I didn’t speak to anyone, just headed straight for more of my awaiting breakfast.

“Where’s Gerard?” Mikey asked.

“I don’t know, he’s being a bitch.” I complained into my cup.

“I really don’t think he’s a morning person because, boy, is he grumpy lately.” Buddy pointed out.

“So, it’s not just me?”

“Nah, how could anyone be grumpy around you?” Jamia insisted.

That made me grin a little, but I was still pissed.

“Well, he better make it up to me, that’s all I’m saying.”

GERARD’s POV

My head was pounding, I had the worst taste in my mouth, our show sucked last night, and now someone is telling me what do do.

Fuck that.

“Leave me alone.” I spat out, trying to inch as far away from whoever it was as possible.

By the time I woke up again, I was alone. I needed nicotine and caffeine in large doses. I have cigarettes here, but I really don’t want to talk to anyone right now, so I’m gonna forget about coffee. Maybe Kat will come back with some food.

I lit one up and stepped outside on the patio. Yep, it’s official, I HATE the sun. I watched the traffic speed by below.

‘If I jumped off, I’d get creamed. Like road kill. And my extremities would be so mangled I wouldn’t fit into a coffin and they’d just have to dig a big hole and throw me in, as is. Ha! Yep, I’d just step up on here take a long walk off a short plank and-’

Someone opened the door, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked down and saw myself standing of the patio’s fence a few inches off the ground. I quickly stepped down, rattled.

‘That was weird,...’ I rubbed my face, trying to shake the feeling off. Why did I have these thoughts?... it can’t be good.

I looked back, it was Kat. She didn’t look happy. She just quickly disappeared into the shower.

‘Fuck... What did I do now?’

I decided I better find out, so I went to find everyone else.

I walked around to everyones room until I heard the most noise. They were in Mikey’s room. The company looked up at be strangely as I walked into the room.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Nice job pissing off Kat this morning. She is notvery pleased with you right now...” Frank rambled.

“Yeah, dude, what did you do? She seems pretty upset.” Ray, genuinely asked.

“I don’t really know...” I trailed off.

I said it even though I did. I yelled at her this morning.

I better go apologize.

MY POV

Maybe an hour later I ventured back into our room. Gerard was still on the patio smoking. I thought he had left, but I guess he came back. I stayed silent and tried to avoid eye contact as I headed into the shower.

The scorching water cleared my head and I wasn’t mad anymore. I figured I was just PMS-ing and being overly sensitive. Wrapping the small white towel around me I exited the bathroom, in search of lotion. Gerard turned to look at me.

“Hey, I’m sorry I pissed you off. I’ve been out of sorts lately.”

’Um... yeah, I’d agreed,’ I sarcastically thought while slathering the grapefruit lotion on my legs.

“Okay...” He said, resigned that I was gonna be mad for a while.

He slowly sauntered past me, but I grabbed his arm.

“Thanks, babe.” I quietly said in his ear.

He walked out and I felt a calm again.

GERARD’s POV

I got myself some coffee and sat down, making sure I wasn’t in anyone’s way. I said sorry, but I don’t know if she knows that I mean it.

I’m such a fucking asshole. If I keep pissing her off, she’ll leave me, and I’m one miserable fuck with no chance of ever getting another girl like her.

I need to get my shit together.

Why does life suck so much, so much of the time?

I was venting in my head again, Dr. Whitney told me not to do this, but I usually vent to Kat and right now she doesn’t want to even look at me.

So, in fewer words, I’m fucked.

MY POV

I finished up getting ready and left to join the gang.

Mikey and Sid were also changing their clothes, Frank and Jamia were absent, but Ray and Otter were accounted for. Gerard was off being a loner in the corner of the room dodging any kind of human contact.

‘He must be really stressed out...’ I silently assured myself.

“Kat! Just the girl I wanted to see,” Buddy suddenly claimed, “Guess what you get to do?”

I rolled my eyes, “What?!” I mocked excitement.

“Run around and do errands with me! But, yeah, I’ve got actually got some shit to do and I could use your help. Don’t worry you get to meet a whole bunch of cool people. And I promise you’ll have fun.”

“Okay, that’s cool. What are you hoodlums gonna be up to, then?” I replied.

“I don’t know, whatever seems like a good idea at the time.” Mikey predicted.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause that always ends up being a good idea.” Sid noted with a good hearted laugh.

“We need to leave pretty soon.” Buddy pushed.

“Okay,” I walked over to Gerard and quietly asked, “I’ll see you later?”

He looked up, hiding something in his eyes, and answered, “Yep.”

He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and Buddy and I were out the door.

“You know I just, pretty much, needed your car, right?” Buddy asked as we reached my car.

“Yeah, that’s what I figured. Oh, and thanks for that, best friend!”

We gave each other big smiles.

The two of us arrived at the venue/parking lot and hoped out into the killer sun. The first thing we had to do was find another band to serve dinner tonight. After conning some random punks into doing it, we were off to negotiate a later performance time along with a dozen other things. I was tired as Hell when we were finished and ready to get back to my bf and bffs.

FRANK’s POV

“Hey, everybody. Where’s Kat, I wanna go to this arcade we saw the other day.” I greeted the company as Jamia and I entered the room.

“Kat left with Buddy.” Ray told me.

“Ah, man. But, I really wanted to play Mortal Combat. Now what is there to do?”

“Only get really drunk. Just like every other night.” Otter reminded me.

“Oh, yeah, I guess there’s that.” I agreed.

Otter stood up and walked over to me and we walked into the kitchen. Jamia went over to Sid to say hello.

“Gerard better not do anything stupid tonight, Kat being here and all...” I said to Otter, watching him pour what was left of a bottle of gin.

“What does that mean?” Jamia questioned with a laugh, coming up behind me and surprising me.

Shit, shit, shit, shit. Why did I open my big fucking mouth.

I looked over to Otter, hoping he would dig me out of this hole.

“What does that mean Frank?” She asked again, now concerned.