Living on Perfectly Remembered Memories

The next day of school happened before I had time to get ready for it. As usual, Rafael walked me to all my classes, but kept a distance from me. I didn't tell him of my conversation with Matt but I was quiet. The thing is; I'm never quiet. I always have something to say and it gets me into trouble half the time.

Here I am, sad about Matt's parents. How is he dealing right now? I don't have any classes with him this year besides Lunch and Gym. I wouldn't have either class until a few more periods. How am I supposed to comfort him if he's so far away?

The moment I realized it was sixth period, I raced out of Chemistry. Matt was never early to our table in the cafeteria but it wouldn't hurt for me to be there early. That way, if anyone in our group suspects something, I can save Matt and take him away until he's calmed down.

I was surprised to see everyone was already sitting down. Just like I expected, they were all silent. The only person making a sound was Matt. Lisa was sitting next to him, rubbing his shoulder in vain hopes that that would make him feel any better. I scoffed in my mind making an evil face at her. She didn't notice though.

Rafael pulled me into the seat next to him, smiling at me. I just stared at him. It was hard for me to pretend to be happy at the moment so he would have to forgive me later on.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, kissing my cheek.

I sighed. "No."

He left it there, falling into an uncomfortable silence again. Zacky and Josh gave Matt and me weird looks. They didn't know we were best friends again; no one knew. Therefore, that couldn't be the reason why they were staring at the both of us strangely.

My gaze locked to Matt's who was looking at me the whole time. He looked ready to break. He nodded, stood up, and walked away. I got up right after and followed him.

I hadn't walked one full step and already the four of them were taking to each other in hushed voices. They could try all they wanted, they would never figure out what was wrong with my best friend.

I followed Matt in silence to the Gym area. This was one of the only places during sixth period where it was vacant. We double-checked to make sure no one was around. When the coast was clear, that was when he let himself break apart.

The tears that never left his eyes were now streaming down his pale cheeks. He didn't make a single sound; the tears just came relentlessly.

I watched him cry. Call me a bitch for not trying to comfort him. I knew that he didn't want me to touch him. Matt was always a weird person when it came to sympathy. He could fall down to his lowest low and still wouldn't want sympathy from others. He would only take it when he needed reassurance. The reassurance he needed came from me last night. Now, he just needed to get all his emotions out. Only then, would he be all right. At least that's my theory and I hope I'm right.

After the tears were gone and wiped away from his face, he slid down the wall, sitting on the floor with his knees close to his chest. I followed pursuit, looking at the wall.

"Can I tell my parents?" I asked, barely a whisper. I looked at his face, right into his eyes. He hated knowing this, but as emotionless as his face could be, his eyes always gave him away. They always told me exactly how he felt.

"Sure," he replied. There was no life in his eyes.

"Matty, please stop being this way. I can't stand it anymore. The more you're hurt, the more I want to cry cause I can't make you feel better," I begged, letting out a shaky breath. I felt the first tear escape and then the rest followed. Fuck.

"Fran, don't cry. Please don't," he whispered, hugging me to his chest.

Has he ever heard of reverse psychology? I was supposed to stop crying, but I couldn't stop it anymore. I started to cry uncontrollably. I tried muffling my sobs by placing a hand over my mouth but it only made matters worse. I expected Matt to scream at me to shut up so no one would expect anything. He didn't though, he just held me there as I let myself cry more and more.

When my cries died down to just whimpers and sniffles, I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt safe in his embrace. I felt much safer in his arms than I could ever feel with Rafael. Matt was the one comforting me now, something I was always so used to. I didn't feel strange now; like I did last night when I was the one he leaned on for support.

We stood back up, ready to go back to the cafeteria. I guess that's what the both of us needed: an emotional breakdown.

"Wasn't I the one who was supposed to make you feel better? And here you are making me feel better," I said, a smile on my lips.

Matt chuckled freely; it wasn't forced. "It's what best friends do."

We were at the entrance into the cafeteria. Matt pulled me aside, holding my hands in his. Both his thumbs rubbed the backs of my hands.

"Until death pulls us apart, we will always be best friends, that's true from our hearts."

My mouth opened with shock and a smile. I'm sure I looked stupid now. "Matt that was beautiful," I said in awe.

"Thanks. Thought of it for a while," he shrugged before leading me to our table.