Kill Me.

Callum cursed as he entered his home, slamming the door shut. He certainly hadn’t expected that reaction. Then again, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Anything probably would have surprised him but for just a moment he’d let his mind wander. He’d let himself imagine the way Lee’s fury would have melted out of his innocent eyes, reached out a shy long-fingered hand and let Callum in. Lee would have called him an asshole and could have ranted on and on but in the end he’d smile at Callum, kiss him the way he had on Saturday. And for just once his mind wouldn’t feel so trapped, so chained and things would be peaceful.

“Really?” he said aloud, scoffing. “You really thought that you idiot?” He shook his head at himself and plodded into his kitchen. He still had some leftover chicken he’d made the other night that could serve as dinner. After making a quick meal of it, he called his mother just to check in. Carrie had said the woman was getting lonely without her children and her husband two states away at a business conference.

Which was why when a man answered the phone it surprised Callum, shocked him actually. The voice was unrecognizable and gruff and it had him glaring the moment the man greeted him.

“Who are you?” he demanded without thinking. Just because he was hours from his mother did not mean some stranger could come into their home and potentially hurt her.

“Callum son, you don’t remember me?” the man asked and Callum’s eyes narrowed. It certainly wasn’t his father, who had died shortly after his mother had found out she was pregnant. And it definitely wasn’t his Dad. So what the hell was going on?

“Who is this?” Callum repeated, hissing through the receiver. “If you hurt my mother I will kill you,” he threatened, ignoring the fact that it was a rather empty threat if he didn’t even know who this was.

“Its Mike. You’re uncle? Don’t tell me you forgot me!” the man exclaimed with a laugh, saying something to who Callum assumed was his mother.

“Oh, hey sorry Uncle Mike,” he recovered, rolling his eyes. Paranoid much? “How are you and the family doing?”

“You’ve still got it don’t you Callum?” he said, laughing. “You and your emotions always left this whole family a step behind. Livid one second and perfectly civil the next. They’re all good though. Little Anna wants to see her ‘Cousin Callum’ though.”

“I’ll come down soon. Tell her I said I for now though,” Callum said, forcing a laugh. “Hey, I have to go. Someone’s on the other line,” he said. “Tell mom I said hi and it was nice to talk to you Uncle Mike!” Even as the man said goodbye Callum hung up, putting the phone on his table. He just wasn’t talking to the man. He was nice, sure, but not who Callum felt like dealing with after such a day.

Callum waited patiently for Lee to call, or not so patiently according to his boss. The man had accused him of being more snippy than usual. He had tried though, not to let it bother him but it had been two days since he’d talked to Lee and they worked in the same building! He had grown accustomed to the boy’s presence honestly and it seemed wrong to not be surrounded by his little ball of sunshine.

That’s what he blamed it on when he found himself standing in front of Lee’s apartment door for the second time that week, waiting for the boy to get home. Where did he always go? Callum found himself wondering. He had left work late and still made it there before the boy. Content to wait, he slumped against the wall and put in his headphones.

Ten minutes later Lee finally appeared up the stairs and Callum jumped to his feet. When Lee jolted in surprise Callum offered a sheepish smile that Lee returned with a half-glare. Was he really still mad Callum wondered, or just hurt?

“Lee, hey…” he started and the boy gave him a polite smile in greeting. “I told you how I feel, so I guess that’s not really in question but… Lee I’m not a patient person to be honest. I’m snippy and angry and miserable a lot of the time but I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never have wanted to do that. I don’t know if that’s what has kept you from calling, or if you’re angry or you just honestly hate me but I need some kind of answer.” Callum gave him a tired smile. “I even went to my sister’s for a distraction Lee.”

At that the younger boy let a small smile slip through, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t think of her as such a burden Cal. I’m sorry I’ve been totally avoiding you the last few days but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to just forgive you. You hurt me, and I don’t want that to happen again,” he admitted quietly, looking at Callum through his eyelashes. “I was afraid you thought you felt that way but you really didn’t. We’re so different. When I like someone I do everything to get close to them. It can be smothering honestly. I just can’t imagine trying to push that person away so I got confused. But you aren’t like me. You aren’t like anyone really; you’re just Callum.”

“I’m sorry,” Callum said quietly, biting his lip.

“I like you Callum, I do. I want to try to make this work if you do but I’m not going to be the only one being open here. You have to-“

“Yes. Ok,” he said instantly, nodding his head. “That’s fine Lee. That’s perfectly fine and I promise you I’ll open up to you. I don’t want to keep shutting you out but I need you to help me.”

“I will Cal,” he said with a soft smile; one so much more Lee-like that Callum couldn’t help but return it.

“I’m so sorry Lee,” Callum told him honestly, standing a little straighter and about to reach for Lee. Before he could make the movement he stopped though, limbs freezing in ignorance. What was he supposed to do? How was he even supposed to initiate a hug, even if it seemed like such an elementary thing to know?

“Like this,” Lee said with a knowing smile, reaching out to embrace the taller man. Callum returned the embrace as tightly as he could, burying his face into Lee’s cool neck and grinning. He pressed a chaste kiss to the spot that his lips touched and Lee let out a brief giggle.