Status: finished : )
Too Much
Move on, nevertheless
[ Jasey Rae ]
I called into work on Thursday and Friday. I wasn’t ready to go back to normality. I shut my phone off and paid for my hotel room with cash. I didn’t put it past some people to report me as missing so using my credit card was a bad idea.
I leaned over the balcony and stared down at the beach. I’d forgotten how much I loved the beach. The salty air was refreshing to my lungs and it helped me to take longer, deeper breaths.
I spent the two days being careless. I walked the beach a lot, but that of course brought memories of Gaskarth. I bought a few summer dresses to wear since I didn’t have clothes. Course it was late September and the air outside was cold.
I spent a lot of time thinking. I even thought about the things Gaskarth said, though I didn’t want to. I wanted to forget every word and even forget him. But I couldn’t. A part of me realized he was right.
When I thought I was pregnant, I was scared, but happy. I’d always seen myself as ending up with a kid eventually anyway. But having a kid at eighteen meant giving up college and my dreams so that I could take care of the little one, and I was happy with that. I was ready to be a mom.
But then when I found out that I wasn’t pregnant and Gaskarth came back, I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t have a plan anymore. My mind was befuddled and college didn’t seem like the right choice anymore. I wanted to be a mom.
He’d been right. I should have known he’d be right. He knew me better than Jewels did, and that was saying something since Jewels and I were like twins.
Tomorrow was Jewels big birthday bash at the Barakat’s residence. I’d have to show up, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t. I sighed and pushed away from the railing on the balcony, turning back to my room.
I stuffed my few things back into my car and got in. I still wasn’t sure how ready I was, but I’d have to move on nevertheless. I took a shaky inhale of air and started the car, bracing myself for change.
I called into work on Thursday and Friday. I wasn’t ready to go back to normality. I shut my phone off and paid for my hotel room with cash. I didn’t put it past some people to report me as missing so using my credit card was a bad idea.
I leaned over the balcony and stared down at the beach. I’d forgotten how much I loved the beach. The salty air was refreshing to my lungs and it helped me to take longer, deeper breaths.
I spent the two days being careless. I walked the beach a lot, but that of course brought memories of Gaskarth. I bought a few summer dresses to wear since I didn’t have clothes. Course it was late September and the air outside was cold.
I spent a lot of time thinking. I even thought about the things Gaskarth said, though I didn’t want to. I wanted to forget every word and even forget him. But I couldn’t. A part of me realized he was right.
When I thought I was pregnant, I was scared, but happy. I’d always seen myself as ending up with a kid eventually anyway. But having a kid at eighteen meant giving up college and my dreams so that I could take care of the little one, and I was happy with that. I was ready to be a mom.
But then when I found out that I wasn’t pregnant and Gaskarth came back, I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t have a plan anymore. My mind was befuddled and college didn’t seem like the right choice anymore. I wanted to be a mom.
He’d been right. I should have known he’d be right. He knew me better than Jewels did, and that was saying something since Jewels and I were like twins.
Tomorrow was Jewels big birthday bash at the Barakat’s residence. I’d have to show up, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t. I sighed and pushed away from the railing on the balcony, turning back to my room.
I stuffed my few things back into my car and got in. I still wasn’t sure how ready I was, but I’d have to move on nevertheless. I took a shaky inhale of air and started the car, bracing myself for change.