My Heart Is Yours

Max’s pov

I stood outside the bus smoking another cigarette, taking a drag and holding it in before letting the smoke snake through my lips in a cloud of heady perfume. Of sorts. I sighed as I leaned my head against the bus, staring up at the night sky. Our show that night had gone off with a hit. It was awesome, getting to play again. Playing kept my thoughts away from Wendy and it gave me a high without having to actually get high.

I dropped the cancer stick after taking a final drag from it, smashing it with the toe of my shoe before turning around and heading back on the bus quietly. The rest of the guys were in the back, and as I made a stop to the kitchen, their voices carried out to me. I pulled open the fridge, crouching and sticking my head in to look for…I don’t even know. Something to eat? But I wasn’t very hungry, so that kind of killed that… Eh, whatever…

“What the fuck are we supposed to tell him!?” Bryan’s voice came through the bunk hall and I raised a single brow as I listened. What were they talking about? They weren’t going to…oh god. The last time he’d said something like that was when they were kicking Ronnie out of the band. But that time, I had been part of the conversation and not the, I assumed, subject of it. My stomach dropped to the floor and my heart burst as I thought about not being able to play music. Where would that leave me? In Vegas strung out on whatever the fuck I could get my hands on and probably end up leaving this world way before my time.

I sighed as I ran a hand nervously through my hair and stood again, biting down on my snake-bitten lip to stare at the entrance to the bunk hall. I didn’t think that they’d seen me, so I’d just have to keep my presence here a bit of a secret for a few more minutes until I figured out what the hell it was that they were discussing…

“What do you think, Bryan?” That was Craig, who sounded almost worried. Was that a good sign or a bad?

“’Oh by the way we went and saw Wendy today behind your back and she wanted us to bring you to her place on our day off tomorrow? She has someone she wants you to meet but you have to be sober and not so hung over to do so?’ Yeah, ‘cause that’s a good idea, Craig.” My heart had stopped at the mention of Wendy. She was here? They saw her!? Why the fuck didn’t they tell me!?

Anger sparked in me as I stepped through the bunk hall quickly to get to the back room. Robert was laying on the lounge-part of the large couch playing Halo while Max and Craig sat on the opposite side chatting it up. About the girl that I had fucked things over with hard. I didn’t know whether to be really angry or excited that she wanted to see me. But…who the hell was that someone that she wanted me to meet? She wasn’t… Oh god, if she was getting married, I think I’d go legitimately insane…

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” I said in a louder tone than I probably should have. They all jumped slightly and Robert glared at me as he paused the game and sat up.

“Nothing, Max…”

“Bull fucking shit, you’re talking about nothing Mabbitt! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that you saw her!?”

My friend just leveled a glare at me slightly before sighing and looking over at Bryan worriedly. “I’ve been hanging out with her since she moved away from Vegas, Max.” Oh…that made more anger spark in me. Had they been, heaven forbid, dating in the last six years? No…Wendy wouldn’t do something like that… Would she? “She didn’t want you to know.”

A blow to the chest hit me hard, I sighed, staggering almost as I felt my head spin. But not from the alcohol that I had consumed over the course of the day…

I ran my hands through my hair, not sure what to say or how to feel. Did she really hate me that much? Fuck… I was such an ass hole. I was such a fuck up. I couldn’t believe that I’d taken the only good thing in my life and thrown it out the window just like that. All because of Ronnie. That dick!

Bryan and Craig scooted over, making room for me to sit down. I took the invitation and stumbled my way over there. I felt…god, I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt right at that point. I couldn’t form words. I didn’t know whether to be mad, hurt, angry, upset, or relieved. Or excited. Because, apparently, after all these years Wendy was finally willing to see me…

But who the hell was it that she wanted me to meet? It just…didn’t make any sense…

“Max, you okay?”

“I just… Why now?”

“Because Mr. Idiot over here had to go and invite her to our show tonight and then she got all pissy and then he went and blamed your being smashed all the damn time on her,” Bryan supplied with a frown. I frowned and glared over at Craig, who was glaring at Bryan.

“Just because I get smashed all the damn time doesn’t make it her fault, Craig,” I growled, frowning at him and clenching my hands into fists.

“Max, chill out, dude,” Robert piped in, finally joining in our conversation.

“I wasn’t trying to say that it was, it just came out like that. And at least it got her to say that she wants to see you, right?” Craig bit back, frowning at me. I sighed and unclenched my fists. I didn’t really feel like fighting with the kid right now. He was right, he did pretty much get Wendy to say that she wanted to see me.

“Who does she want me to meet?” I asked, looking up at my friends as they exchanged a glance. I wondered what they knew that I didn’t. “Who is it?”

“That’s not our secret to tell, dude,” Robert said from behind me as Craig was opening his mouth to say something. Quickly, the singer shut it again and nodded sternly. Bryan just nodded and shrugged. Confusion slapped down hard on me as I leaned back on the couch, trying to figure out who it could be.

If Craig implied that I still hadn’t gotten over her…maybe she was going to have me meet her boyfriend or something? Or…again, the thought of her being married entered my head and I sighed, clenching my jaw as I fought back emotion.

“You have to stay sober to see her though, Maxwell. That’s the only thing.”

----

I seriously couldn’t believe that I was going to see Wednesday today. After six years, I was finally going to be able to see her. Not just pictures that had been taken back in high school of her. No. Legitimately see her in person. And I’d have her all to myself…

It was currently ten in the morning and I was fighting the urge to have a drink to kill the hangover. They didn’t usually happen to me very often since I was…pretty well rounded in the drinking area, but the fact that my head spun slightly in bright lights. Which was what I was currently walking in since I had to walk my ass down to Wednesday’s house. The sun wasn’t very forgiving to my slight migraine, but I didn’t really care. I was pretty fucking determined to see Wednesday. And now.

Craig had given me directions from where our bus had been parked and, from there, I was on my own. I guess he called her around eight to make sure that she was awake and that someone named Alex was out of the house. Hmm…well, that obviously wasn’t the mysterious person that she wanted me to meet. Because why would Craig be making sure that said “Alex” was out of the house if she wanted me to meet them? Hmm…

Could she have a cat? Was Alex her cat? I was allergic to cats, so maybe that was why he was calling to ensure that…

I don’t even know. Sometimes I think too much…

I don’t think this “Alex” is a lover of any sort or anything…

I looked up as I reached a corner. The street signs matched the ones that Craig had told me about. Right? I reached into my back pocket, past my packet of smokes, and then pulled out the little piece of orange paper that had the instructions written on it.

Why the fuck did we have orange paper on the damn bus?

Setting aside my confusion for that matter, I squinted as I read through the instructions briefly. I was supposed to take a left down this street before turning right after two blocks and then to the first apartment complex. With a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair and fished out my cigarettes and…fuck, where did I put my lighter again? I paused halfway down the block to shift through my pockets. Aha! There it is! Right in my front left pocket, where I knew I’d left it… Kind of…

Lighting up, I stuffed the lighter into my back left pocket this time, taking a drag from the cancer stick before I continued on my way down the streets. By the time that I had gotten to the apartment complex, I had completed that cigarette. Now, the instructions said that she was on the first level in apartment four.

So now I just had to find that apartment. With a sigh, I began moving around the building to find the apartment I was looking for. The doors were on the outside, and number one and two were on the front side. Which meant that numbers three and four were probably on the other side of this building.

My heart stopped when I reached apartment number four’s door. My throat stuck in my chest as I stared at the closed white door before me. Should I knock? I should probably knock, huh? I reached out a hand to rap my knuckles against the white wood, heart thundering in my chest as I thought about what would happen if Wendy didn’t open the door. Or if Craig had just been playing a cruel and mean joke and she was really in Canada or some other random fucking place like that…

I waited for a few seconds before the door swung open and a little girl that looked much like the one from the book store yesterday opened the door. Oh great. Craig had given me the wrong directions. “Um…is…does Wend-”

“Lily, who is it?” My heart stopped again as I heard her voice. My throat closed up and I got the sudden urge to just run and hide. I should not be doing this. I should just run and leave her the hell alone and never see her again.

The little girl turned around and stared up at Wednesday, who pulled the door open more. “I don’t know, Mama.” Mama?! What!?

Wednesday’s sage green eyes lifted up to mine before they welled up with tears and she lifted a hand to her mouth. I was frozen. The little girl was confused and worried. And Wendy…

Wendy was looking gorgeous as ever. The last six years had been kind to her. She still had her long dark brown hair, longer now but styled in much the same way. Her skin was a bit paler and I wondered if she had been getting enough nutrition because she looked pretty skinny. Her eyes were still large and had long lashes framing them.

God, I wanted to pull her into my arms and hug her to death. Hug her and never let go. I was, for a moment, tempted to do so. But that little girl calling her “mama” made me think that she was married… Which was going to make my heart break a little more…

Her eyes closed and she let her hand drop away from her mouth. “Max,” Wednesday choked out, my name sounding amazing when it was spoken by her. Despite the fact that she winced when she said it, I almost melted. “Come in, please…” she stepped to the side of the door and the little girl looked up at me before scuttling behind her legs. I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat before stepping inside her home.