Worth The Wait

CH 16

Phoebe had mixed emotions about being back in Philly. She was thrilled to be seeing her parents and family that she didn’t get the opportunity to see that much. It made her realize how appreciative she was to have her sister, her brother-in-law and the kids close by. Thank God his job transferred him right after she moved out there for school, Phoebe couldn’t imagine what her life would have been like without them around. She was, however, dreading the process of breaking it off with Mike. She wasn’t sure how he’d react or what she would even say to him. What she did know was that she missed Sidney. Her life just wasn’t the same not being with him everyday.

She’d managed to keep herself busy. She was with family after all. She wasn’t staying at Mike’s and he was traveling so she caught a break. She was happy that she hadn’t allowed him to manipulate her into having sex with him. She did everything in her power to keep him out of her. Mike wasn’t happy about it though, and he could see something was wrong. She, on the other hand, was trying to muster up the courage to get it over with so she could go back home but it wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. She didn’t like confrontation and this was something she simply didn’t know how to go about doing.

It wasn’t a secret to Mike that he hadn’t been there for Phoebe throughout their relationship. He could sense the severity of Sidney’s feelings for her and he could see the danger of her feelings for Sid. He never had anything to worry about before. There were never any other threats. No matter what happened, Phoebe was always his and he didn’t have to work extremely hard at it. Now things were shifting. He wouldn’t usually have noticed, but because it was Crosby that was possibly getting in the way it stung him. Mike didn’t want to lose Phoebe to him.

Considering Phoebe didn’t get to see her family much, when her mom wanted to spend the day together she couldn’t say no. She wanted to take Phoebe shopping and of course she jumped at that opportunity. It was the most relaxed she’d been since she arrived in Philly. Mike had practice so it eliminated the communication between the two of them, at least until later on in the evening. Ideally, she would have gotten up the nerve to break it off with Mike and be home in Pittsburgh by Christmas so she could spend it with Sidney, but she knew her family would never let her skip out on them. By the time she and her mother got back to her parents house, it was getting late. It was dark out and a light snow was falling on the city. She’d been so busy running around with her mom, Christmas shopping and re-familiarizing herself with the little spots she’d come to know growing up that she didn’t bother checking her cell phone. She was too happy with her mom to bother herself with stress.

They were walking through the front door of her parents house the first time Phoebe thought about checking her phone. She ripped it out from the bottom of her purse and noticed she had a text. She was still laughing from everything she and her mom had been talking about that day as she checked the text. It was from Sidney, which was a pleasant surprise. What it said was not. “Enjoy your life together. I’m fucking out.” She didn’t understand what he was talking about and she immediately wanted to call him but she didn’t have the chance. She was greeted, and completely caught off guard, by her family hugging and congratulating her. Mike was with them and he immediately came up to her and pulled her into a huge hug, crashing his lips down onto hers. Startled, she wiggled away and tried to figure out what everyone was making such a fuss about.

She nervously let out a laugh. “What’s up guys? I wish I could say I knew what you were all excited about but I have no idea.”

“You and Mike finally set a date!” her dad was thrilled, he’d been wanting to know what their plans were since they got engaged.

She shook her head in shock and looked at Mike with daggers. “We did?”

Mike cut in before anyone else could say anything. “Yes princess. I wanted to surprise you. Come with me.” He took her limp hand and led her into the living room where the television was blasting. He went into the DVR and played a clip of himself from earlier in the day on the NHL network. When she heard him blast to everyone how happy he was to be getting married around the time of the Olympics she had to sit down. She was furious. She knew exactly what he was doing and why he was doing it. She never agreed to this, she never would have agreed to this and she closed her eyes and sighed as she remembered Sidney’s text. He would never believe her that Mike did this on his own. He would never be able to forgive her even though she didn’t know anything about it. He would assume she changed her mind and it would make sense…she’d been so afraid of Sidney coming to the realization that she wasn’t anything special and now he was finally given a real reason to get over her. She couldn’t blame him though- she’d already put him through so much. Phoebe felt a tear slide down her cheek and looked up to face her ecstatic family. A family that was beginning to get very frustrated at her and Mike’s lack of wedding plans.

Mike knelt down in front of her. “Are you thrilled?” She slowly shook her head yes and took in a deep breath. He wrapped her hands in his, “I love you and I don’t want to be apart any longer. I know I’ve messed up but I want you to move here to Philly and be with me. It’s been long enough.”

“But the Olympics are like…what? Two months away? That’s impossible,” she stammered out completely frazzled.

“I know. I just don’t want to be apart anymore.”

“But two months? You don’t want more time?” she spit out.

He looked at her with an intimidating panic in his eyes. “No.”

She forced something that resembled a smile on her face and made herself hug him back when he wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m so excited for you kids,” Phoebe heard her mother squeal and she ran over to Phoebe with tears glistening in her eyes. Her mom hugged her, “Oh my baby is finally getting married!” Phoebe didn’t say anything, she just hugged her mom and gave the same forced smile she gave Mike. She couldn’t let her mother down…oh but if her mom only knew everything. If she knew how Mike really was and how amazing Sidney was…but it didn’t matter now.

“Oh we’ll have to call your sister to come home for a little while! We have so much to do! We have to plan your shower, get your dres...” The more her mother rambled on the more she wanted to crawl into bed and take a nap. Phoebe looked over at Mike who was smirking from ear to ear. She wanted to believe that he was happy to be marrying her. That he was just as excited as her family was for this wedding. And maybe he was. But, Mike ruined any chance she had at being happy with Sid. He won. And that was what was running through his mind, both of them secretly aware of that.

“Mom I think I’m going to go upstairs and rest for a little while. I just don’t feel good and it’s been a long day. We’ll start with all the plans tomorrow morning.” She hugged her parents and slipped away upstairs when she thought no one was watching.

Phoebe closed her bedroom door behind her and pressed her back against it, letting out a deep breath. She couldn’t keep it in anymore. She let her head fall and felt her body start to shake as she began to silently weep into her hands. She crawled onto her bed and buried her head into her pillow. If only she had mustered up the courage to break it off with Mike earlier. Now she was trapped in a relationship because the one person she wanted to fall asleep with every night would understandable never be able to forgive her, and she knew it. She knew she lost him. He’d never believe her, she had not given him any reason to omit the words Mike spoke. She secretly prayed he’d know better than to listen to Mike, that he knew her well enough to know her heart was his, but it was so convincing. The worst part was that it had to have broken his heart, and that made her hurt even more. Lost in her sobs she didn’t hear anyone come in her room, she jumped when she felt a hand rest on her back. When she popped up she expected to see Mike, but she was face to face with her grandmother instead.

“I know it must be a big adjustment for you baby,” her grandma rubbed circles on her back. Oh, if she only knew.

Phoebe tried to wipe away the tears to disguise her obvious sadness. “Thanks Grandma,” she mustered up a smile.

“You know, when I married your grandfather I was so nervous. Soooo nervous, God, I loved him. It wasn’t easy and I was about your age too, I found myself in tears many times myself.”

“Really?” she couldn’t see her grandma crying. Growing up she thought her grandparents were two people who were ridiculously in love.

“Yeah, it was a scary time. Things were different, but you have to fight for what you love most. Grandpa almost had to go to Korea but thank God he didn’t. That kept me on my knees, but it all worked out and we’ve been happy our entire lives.”

Phoebe wanted to fight for what she loved, but she messed it up and now her fight was completely different. Mike was the man she was going to marry and she was going to have to remember what her life was like before she ever met Sidney, when Mike was all she had…when she thought he was all she wanted.

“Thanks Grandma. I just can’t believe how sudden this all happened.”

“Oh he loves you baby.” Phoebe couldn’t expect her grandmother to know. She and her family only knew of the façade that he put on for them, hell, she didn’t even know the entire truth until recently. “And I can tell you one thing. When a man loves you, he never gives up on you; he’d never let himself lose you.” Sid was the one who, at the end of the day, wouldn’t give up on her and Phoebe prayed that if Sid loved her as much as he said he did, then he wouldn’t give up no matter what.

When her grandmother left the room she wasn’t left alone for too long. Before she could even think Mike was in her room sitting next to her on her bed. He put his hand on her thigh. “You wanna stay at my place tonight?”

“I don’t think so Mike. I’m exhausted. It’s been a long day.”

“That never used to bother you before,” he whispered as he nibbled on her neck.

She turned her head away from him, “Yeah, well, it never bothered you to sleep with anyone else either so I’d say we’re about even.”

“C’mon babe. We talked about this. I said I was sorry, I’m an idiot and I messed up. I just missed you and you were so far away that I was going crazy,” his pathetic plea for forgiveness just wasn’t cutting it. Phoebe politely smiled at him and pretended to listen to the act he was giving her. “Besides, we’re getting married in two months, we’ll never be apart again so you have nothing to worry about.” She nodded her head and kept her mouth shut. “You’ve been wanting this for a while…you still want to get married right?”

She nodded again. She did want to get married, but the person she wanted to marry wasn’t Mike.

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night at my place?”

“I’m sure,” she said softly. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“I could stay with you here,” he pushed.

“That’s your call Mike. Stay if you want to.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving it up to you.”

“Well move over,” he stood up and unbuckled the belt attached to his jeans, unzipped them and slide them off his body. He pulled the sweater and button-down shirt over his head and crawled into her bed in nothing but his boxers and a white t-shirt. Phoebe put on a pair of boxers and a tank top, threw her hair up in a messy bun and crawled in next to him. Mike pressed his body up against hers, his chest glued to her back. His hands roamed from her shoulder down to her legs and began to roam to the front of her boxers. He tucked his hand under the fabric and slid it south until he reached the opening between her legs. She didn’t want to get wet for him, she didn’t want to open her legs for him, but her life with Sid was over now and her marriage to Mike was inevitable. She gave in when he started kissing and nibbling at her neck and let him roll her onto her back as he kept rubbing and massaging her most intimate area.

She wanted to enjoy the feeling of him pushing himself inside her. She should have. He was actually making more of an effort to make love to her- he wasn’t turning her or bending her over. Their sex was good but it wasn’t enough for her, it didn’t leave her emotionally satisfied like when she was with Sid. She simply wasn’t in love with Mike and the thought of what she was losing brought tears to her eyes. She never would have known what she was missing if she never met Sidney but now a new light shined brightly as to what perceptions she had to come to terms with, and everything was different. Her body was in Philadelphia because it had to be but her heart was in Pittsburgh with a boy who she thought had to hate her. After Mike pulled himself out of her and they both cleaned themselves up they crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

She fell asleep with the thoughts of being held by Sidney and when she woke up she smiled as she felt the arm wrapped around her. “Mmmm Sid,” she moaned. She opened her eyes to see Mike tangled up in the sheets next to her and prayed he didn’t hear her. Her smile quickly faded and she remembered those days were over. Thanks to Mike, they were beautiful memories, still photographs that would have to be left in the past.

Phoebe wasn’t surprised that Mike wanted to spend every moment possible in bed. It was almost as if he were trying to convince her to be with him by constantly trying to show her he wanted to have sex with her. It wasn’t good enough though. It didn’t matter how much he tried to make her believe he had changed, she knew that he was well aware of the fact that things were different. Phoebe was almost bored of being in the bedroom with him. She stayed at his place and found it particularly odd that he wouldn’t allow her to go home on a random Saturday morning.

“Baby, baby, wait,” he grabbed at her.

“I want to go home Mike,” she sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him over her shoulder. “I have a lot of stuff to do. My mom’s been in crazy wedding mode. She wants me to pick out dresses and centerpieces and linens. You didn’t exactly give me much time to plan.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that. Who am I kidding? No I’m not! I’m just happy we’re getting married. We’re so close now.” When he said that she winced and prayed for time to slow down. “God you’re so delicious in the morning,” he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down on the bed. “Just wait a little while longer,” he lightly ran his hand over her stomach and up her shirt, kissing up and down her neck. She wanted to leave, she’d almost had enough time with him but like usual his solution to any problem was sex. She wanted to say no to him and leave but her body was turned on and she couldn’t bring herself to move. She laid beneath him and stared at the clock on the nightstand. He thrust in and out of her, making her body long for Sid. She shook her head to shake those horrible thoughts out of her mind and let Mike continue doing what pleased him. When he finally got off of her she got dressed and he drove her home.

When she walked inside she was anticipating a nice shower and some time to herself but was caught off guard by her friends and family excitedly screaming “SURPRISE!”

‘Shit’ she thought, it was her bridal shower. Her mouth fell open and she turned to look at Mike. “Surprised princess?”

“You knew about this?”

“Of course I did, your mom made me swear I wouldn’t tell you.” That’s why he was extra eager to keep her in bed. She immediately became annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t take her out for breakfast or watch tv with her. No, he had to take the opportunity to have sex and she was just as stupid because she let him.

She turned and faced her guests and put on the best smile she could. She was bombarded by hugs and congratulatory words. Mike pulled her away, “I’ll see you later alright? Have fun,” he kissed her quickly on the lips and walked out of the house to do whatever it was he did when he wasn’t with her.

Phoebe went upstairs to change into something presentable and looked around the room as she walked back to her party. She saw her friends, some she hadn’t seen in months. There were some Flyers wives she had come to know. Danny Briere’s wife Victoria was the one she bonded with the most. Her niece came and wrapped her arms around her legs, Phoebe bent down and picked her up which caused a fit of laughter from the little girl. “Aunt Phoebe you look pretty.”

Leave it to the little girl to cheer her up. For the first time in a while Phoebe felt herself genuinely smile. “Thank you Rebecca, you look pretty yourself.”

“Aunt Phoebe?”

“Yeah Becks.”

“Can I ask you something?” she asked mischievously.

“Of course sweetie what’s the matter?”

“Where’s Siddy?”

Phoebe closed her eyes. She felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She swallowed and regained her composure. “He’s back in Pittsburgh baby.”

“I had fun with him. So did Tommy,” her tiny niece leaned into her ear and whispered in her adorable way of doing so. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Anything, go on,” Phoebe found herself more intrigued to hear this than most of her secrets.

“Me and Tommy liked Siddy more than Uncle Mike,” Rebecca told Phoebe with her hand clasped over her mouth and Phoebe’s ear.

Phoebe looked at her niece, “Can I tell you a secret Becks?” her niece nodded. Phoebe put her mouth to her niece’s ear, “Me too. But you can’t tell anyone okay?” Rebecca giggled as she nodded her head. Phoebe winked at her and placed her back on the ground, “I’m gonna go say hi to my other friends. Come sit with me in a little while okay?” Rebecca ran off and Phoebe took a deep breath. At least she was honest with someone.

Phoebe actually had a lovely time at her shower. It was nice to see her friends and family all together but knowing her impending marriage to Mike was right around the corner put a damper on all the fun she was having. She was finally coaxed into sitting down and opening her presents, laughing at the way her guests got so serious for the bridal shower games they were playing.

Phoebe was touched by her friends’ generosity. She opened their thoughtful presents and handed off the attached cards to her sister so that she could write down who got her what in preparation for the thank you’s she’d have to send out later. Her friends’ ooooed and ahhhed at the comforters, pots and pans, bake ware and gadgets.

She got to a card that had no name attached. She didn’t turn it over to her sister. Phoebe held onto it, her heart pounding. She immediately knew who it was from. She opened the attached presents: two exceedingly beautiful Swarovski crystal champagne flutes and a matching picture frame. She knew these gifts individually cost hundreds of dollars. Together they were just too much. Her stomach was churning and she wanted to cry. Then she got to the last present. When she opened it her guests erupted in laughter and hollering but she felt a surge of completely irrational anger. She looked at what was in her hands and felt her cheeks burn with rage. The last thing Sid sent her? A vibrator.