Too Blind to See It!

 

The steam from the shower filled the bathroom as I crawled in and let my body relax under the hot stream of water. My legs ached, between my legs ached, but it was a good ache, and it served as a reminder of my night. I couldn’t help but smile. It felt so much like a dream, and I tried to recall every moment as the water cleansed my skin. I giggled at how nervous Zach was, maybe more nervous than me. He had been so worried about making it perfect, and now that it happened, spontaneously, unplanned, it had been just that. Perfect. The more I thought about last night, the more I missed Zach.
 
I somehow thought if I lost my virginity before I was married I’d feel bad. Like I’d done something wrong or dirty. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Instead, I found a feeling overwhelming closeness to Zach, like I’d finally given myself to him completely. Our night was magical, and it was our time.
 
I let the warm water take me to the places Zach had taken me last night. I got completely wrapped up in my thoughts until I heard the bathroom door open.
 
“Jenna. You aren’t going to fucking believe this." Phoebe's voice echoed through the small room. "Travis wants to get married. Married!!!! Is he insane. Sure he says not now, not even soon, but damn.  What makes him think I want to get married?”
 
I couldn't help but giggle. I knew it was coming, Zach told me about his talk with Travis. "Relax will you? It's not like he said, let's go to Vegas."
 
I heard her flip the lid down on the toilet and sit down. So much for my alone time with my memory of last night.
 
"RELAX? Are you seriously telling me to relax?"
 
"Pheebs. He just wants to know you belong to him. He wants to be sure you're not going to run off with some other guy. You can't blame him. He loves you."
 
"A marriage license isn't a guarantee. I don't know if this is going to work out between us. We both want different things."
 
I let out a laugh. "You are just being difficult. You do want the same things. You want Travis. He wants you. You two are perfect for each other."
 
"Marriage though Jenna? Marriage? You're the marriage type not me. Of course if you never put out, Zach may not want to marry you. He has to try before he buys."
 
I giggled to myself, the ache between my legs told a completely different story. "Well you let Travis try so much, now he wants to buy. You did this to yourself."
 
I shut the water off and reached for my towel, pulling it inside the shower to dry off. It's funny how different I felt since I wasn't a virgin anymore. It wasn't something I could explain I just felt different. I wiped the beads of water from my body, my breasts, between my legs, and vividly recalled the action from the night before. Zach's hands, his mouth, his… I immediately blushed at the thought mostly because Phoebe was on the other side of the curtain.
 
"Are you ever coming out of there? This is a serious subject." She yanked the curtain back just as I wrapped myself up.
 
I confess I was delaying seeing her. I felt different; did I look different? Would she be able to tell. She was Phoebe, she'd be able to tell.
 
"What's with the blush princess? It's not like I've never seen you naked before."
 
"I'm not blushing," I lied biting my lip.
 
She looked at me for a second, tilted her head, and said, "YOU HAD SEX!" I burst out laughing, not needing to give her an answer. "I guess I'm damn lucky the boys left this morning. Otherwise I would have caught you and Prince Charming going at it."
 
"Yeah, about that," I said stepping out of the shower and giving her a smirk. "You are definitely going to have to start knocking." I turned and walked toward the bedroom, with Pheebs on my heels.
 
She flopped down on the bed face down with her head propped on her elbows watching me while I brushed out my long wet hair. "What?" I finally asked.
 
"I think i'm gonna cry. My baby girl isn't a virgin anymore." She rolled around the bed faking tears for a moment until she landed back in the same spot. "Jen-Na!" she yelled at me. "Tell me everything. EVERYTHING! I need to know. Oh, maybe it was awful. Don't worry, lots of first times are awful. You'll have lots of time to practice."
 
"Stop. It wasn't awful. It was perfect."
 
"Perfect? Perfect?" She sat up on her knees. "Are you going to tell me you had an orgasm your first time? Cuz that really is a fairy tale."
 
"I can't believe you're asking me that," I said blushing, but I didn't wait for her to beg. I think I wanted to tell her as much as she wanted to know. "No I didn't…"
 
"Have an orgasm…climax…get off…" she finished for me.
 
"PHOEBE! No I didn't have an orgasm, not during anyway. Before." I added meekly, but with a little smirk.
 
"Oh good. Zach took care of you then. Good man that Zach."
 
"He always takes care of me Pheebs."
 
"Oh right. I know. Prince Charming. Did it hurt a lot? Cuz my first time hurt like a bitch."
 
"I guess." I said pulling on my sweats and tying my hair into a ponytail. "It hurt but it was so intimate and so… I don't know. Truthfully, I can't wait to do it again."
 
Phoebe squealed, jumped up and threw her arms around me. "I never thought I'd hear you say that Jenna girl. I thought I'd die before anyone popped your cherry, and now you want to do it again." She tweaked my nose. "Good for you. Good for Zach" Her smile was huge. "Glad you want to do it again, cuz Zach's gonna want to do it again…and again…and again."
 
****
 
 
Game five of the first round of playoffs tore my heart out. I watched as Zach, Travis and the rest of the Devils, my team, were dominated by the Flyers. The fucking flyers!  I sat in my seat long after the final buzzer. I felt the loss in my entire body, and I could quite literally feel Zach's pain as he bent over on the ice at the end of the game, watching Philadelphia celebrate and waiting to stand in that excruciating line and "good game" the boys in orange.
 
The fans were almost gone. Phoebe sat beside me as silent as me. All that talk about not being a fit with Travis, was just that, talk. She was as hurt for Travis as I was for Zach. She had the same tears in her eyes that I had in mind as the final seconds ticked down. We reluctantly and slowly headed toward the locker room, still not talking.
 
I would have been lying if I said the only thing on my mind was the loss, the heartbreak of a season finished too early, the happiness of my boyfriend, or lack of it. There was a very large part of my mind occupied by the last major loss Zach experienced. His reaction to it, his reaction to me. He promised me it would never happen again. I clung to his words as we walked down the long corridor toward the friends and family room. Just as we neared the security guard, he stopped me. "Ms. Jenna. This is for you. From Mr. Parise."  He thrust a note in my hand. "He's taking this pretty hard," he said and flashed me a sympathetic look, as I politely thanked him and moved to a quiet corner to read the note.
 
I remembered how Zach's voice shook when he told me how wrong he was. I remember how he begged me to forgive him after the Olympics. Zach's words kept me going, kept me from serious doubt until I actually read the note.
 
I'll meet you at home. Zach.
 
No I love you, not even Love, Zach.  I closed my eyes tightly, said good bye to Pheebs and headed home to await the stranger that was sure to come though my door, the guy who needed a break from me last time. I hoped and prayed this time was going to be different, but the more I thought about him not wanting to see me after the game, the more I was convinced nothing had changed. How naive I felt thinking that maybe us having sex took us over that hurdle.
 
I thought about just staying at Phoebe's and avoiding the inevitable, but she had Travis to contend with. I put on my PJs and settled into my couch to watch a movie. I needed any distraction I could get and I knew I couldn't live my life panicked after every loss, sick to death worried about that possibility that Zach would leave me. I let a little wine and Hugh Grant's playful awkwardness in Love Actually calm me to the point of restless sleep.
 
****
 
I don't know what time it was when I woke up, but Hugh Grant was nowhere to be seen nor my bottle of wine. As my eyes began to focus I realized I wasn't in my living room where I had originally fallen asleep, but in Zach's bedroom. The lights were off but the room glowed with what I soon realized was the light from hundreds of candles. Roses littered the nightstand next to Zach's bed. 
 
I leaned up on my arms just in time to see Zach walk into the room. He didn't notice that I was awake, and walked to the dresser starting to blow out candles. "Zach," I said softly and he turned surprised to see me awake.
 
**** Zach’s POV
 
It was later than I had planned when I finally walked into Jenna's apartment. She was sleeping on the couch and I admit that I was at least a little disappointed that she hadn't waited up for me. She was so beautiful sleeping there, though she had a pained look on her face as though she might have been having a bad dream. It had to be hard on her too, watching us lose. The Devils were her team, and now she had me, which had to make it hurt worse. My season had ended too early, but the worst part was letting Jenna down. Knowing how much she loved the Devils, how much she wanted a win, and not being able to give it to her killed me inside.
 
I'd carried her down the hallway, into my apartment and laid her on my bed. Even if the roses and the candles were a waste, at least I wanted to sleep with her. Wrap my arms around her sweet body. Let her softness sooth both the physical and mental aches and pains I suffered with from an ended season.
 
I'd stripped down to my boxers, brushed my teeth and began the tortured task of blowing out candles when I heard her sleep soaked voice call me from the bed. "Jenna!” I replied with excitement. I needed her so much, hearing her call to me just made me realize it even more. I sat beside her on the bed and ran my hand through her hair.
 
“Are you OK?” she asked timidly. She looked almost frightened.
 
I scooped her into my arms. “I am now, now that you’re awake.” I couldn’t believe what a difference it made that she was awake now. It wasn’t as though the pain was gone, but being there with her made it instantly bearable. It put the loss into perspective for me. I pulled back to look at her and she had huge tears in her eyes. “Jenna? What’s wrong?”
 
“It’s just…” The tears began to stream down her face. “When I got that note. I thought…” She wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I thought the worst. That  it was like the Olympics all over again. I thought I might lose you.”
 
I pulled her tight to me. “Oh God Jenna NO!” It never occurred to me how she’d take that note, that she’d read something into it like she did. “I’m so sorry. I just…well I just didn’t want you in the locker room after that big loss. It sucks that we lost, and we were all just pissed off. It just wasn’t something I wanted to expose you to. I’m so sorry.”
 
“I’m sorry I doubted you Zach,” she said into my bare chest and I could feel the corners of her lips turn up.
 
“Hey I also needed to buy myself time to do this.” I stretched my arm out to show the candles and the roses.
 
“Zach it’s amazing.”
 
“I just wanted to do something for you. Our first time was amazing, but I wanted to give you your fairy tale.”
 
The smile on her face grew into a smirk. “I need you to wait right here. Light those candles that you blew out. I’ll be right back.”
 
I wanted to object, but before I could really stop her, she was gone. I lit the candles and grabbed the Champagne from the frig. I bought it to hopefully celebrate a win with her, but somehow, this moment still felt like a celebration.
 
When Jenna returned she wore a short little silk robe that was sexy as hell, and she blushed when I made no attempt to hide my pleasure at her lack of clothing. Her shyness about her body was such a turn on. She had no idea how beautiful she was, how her curves made me crazy for her. As hot as she looked in that robe, with her legs, tan and long, completely visible, I couldn’t help but yearn for what was underneath.
 
“We’re having Champagne?” She asked. “Even though…” Her words dwindled away realizing she was about to announce my failure.
 
“You can say it. We lost. That’s certainly no reason to celebrate, and I’ll deal with that. I’ve got all summer to deal with it and train harder. But right now I do have something to celebrate.” I closed the gap between us and put her glass on the nightstand. “I want to celebrate you.” I kissed her, an open mouth, no holding back, toe curling kiss that made me hard as a rock. “Having you to come home to makes losing bearable. I was such a fool after the Olympics. I love you baby.”
 
I guess she approved of my reason for celebration because she leapt off the floor and into my arms. Her mouth hot and needy on mine. I leaned down and opened the tie on her robe without removing my mouth from hers. I used my hands to feel what she wore underneath. I didn’t need to see it to know what it was, and I said a silent “Thank You” to Phoebe. I set her down on the floor and pushed her robe off her shoulders on to the floor.
 
She stood before me, her hair messed, her cheeks flushed, her lips puffy and pink wearing the green emerald studded bra and matching thong. She was my fantasy. Like a goddess in the glowing light of the candles. My cock twitched and my breath caught in my throat. “You are…You’re…heavenly,” I said and the corner of her mouth tipped up in a smirk.
 
The first time we made love was slow, sweet, passionate. The second time promised to be very different. Her fingers tugged roughly at my hair while I bathed her neck and chest with kisses. I ran my hands down her back over the thin straps of her thong until they grasped her delicious ass. Then I scooped her up and carried her to the bed. In seconds I’d removed her emerald studded bra, maybe a bit too soon to truly appreciate the beautiful garment, but I just needed to touch her, for nothing to separate us. I pushed her back down on the bed and drew her nipple between my teeth. They were so taught and responsive and I had to resist biting down hard on her. Her mews of pleasure filled the room as I moved on to her other breast. No part of me was able to get enough of her. My hand moved over her flat stomach and into the waistband of her green satin panties and parted the lips of her sweet pussy. My fingers played in her wetness teasing her into a frenzy. Tonight it wouldn’t be fingers making her orgasm.
 
The teasing was too much for her and she called out to me. “Zach, Please. Please.”
 
“What Jenna? Tell me what you want baby. Tell me and I’ll make it happen.” We’d already had sex, but some part of me still needed to hear her say it.
 
Without hesitation she said, "Make love to me Zach. Please. Make love to me."

Her words were needy and lustful. It was exactly what I'd hoped to hear from her luscious lips, and in seconds I had us both stripped of our underwear and I hovered on top of her; my cock so hard it was physically painful. I didn't take my time, I pressed into her tight walls quickly all the way, in one thrust. She sucked in her breath at my forceful entrance. I stayed inside her without movement while I devoured her mouth and took her mind off the pain. Surely it wasn't as bad as the first time, but it was still there. It was torture to wait, but when she squirmed underneath me dug her fingers into my back, I knew she was ready.

Nothing was like making love to Jenna. Nothing felt as good as her, as being inside her. Maintaining control, making it good for her was excruciatingly difficult. Twice I had to stop completely, out of fear I'd reach the point of no return. Finally I flipped her over and played with her sex and her tits while continuing my thrusts. She let out a soft moan, and her whole body started to quiver beneath me. Then she clamped down on my cock calling my name as she came, "Zach." Then louder. "Zach." And that was the end of control. I came so hard, I saw spots, filling her with my seed. There were no rational thoughts just total love and ultimate satisfaction that only comes with the type of pleasure Jenna gave me.

I held her till she fell asleep, stroking her hair, feeling her nakedness on mine. Nothing ever felt so right, so perfect. I'd never been happier in my entire life. I'd just lost game six ending my hockey season, yet there I was wrapped in the woman I loved, feeling nothing but love and utter euphoria.
 
****
The sun blazed through the curtains. It had been light for some time now, but I could peel my eyes from the gorgeous creature beside me. I didn't sleep much during the night. The urge to watch her was too strong. The urge to wake her and make love to her again was strong too, but she slept so peacefully.

Her eyes soon began to flutter and she rolled back against me and smiled even before her eyes opened completely. "Zach," she said, and I leaned down and kissed her into the new morning.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty."

"Mmm, good morning," she replied shaking off the remainder of sleepiness.

"I've been thinking," I said, jumping right into the thing that kept me up most of the night. "My team just lost in the first round of playoffs. I should be completely miserable, but I'm not."

"No?" she teased and brought her face to mine for another good morning kiss.

"No. I'm not. I mean it sucks. I'm pissed that we didn't win, but I'm not lost. I'm not miserable. I'm actually the happiest that I ever remember being."

She laughed and said, "Phoebe says sex will do that to a man."

I laughed along with her. "Yes well Phoebe says a lot of things, doesn't she?"

"I guess she does. What's all this about Zach?" I asked curious about his choice of discussion so early in the morning.

"I don't really know how to say this, so if I make a fool of myself, forgive me."

She pulled me in close and nuzzled into my neck whispering, "It's just me Zach. You can say anything to me."

I leaned away again, looking down into her beautiful face. I needed to physically see her reaction. "Being with you last night, watching you sleep, waking up with you in my arms, it's like a little slice of heaven in my life."

She rested her hand on my cheek. "That's so sweet Zach." 

I pulled it into my own and kissed her palm. "I need you to listen to me Jenna. I need you to understand what I'm saying. Last night was amazing, and I'm not just talking about the sex. I'm talking about being with you. Really being with you. I want this every night."

Her eyes went wide. "What are you saying Zach? Do you want me to move in with you? Cuz I'm not sure…"

"I want you to marry me!" I blurted out over top of her protest. She went silent, no movement, no words, just wide eyes. "I want you to marry me Jenna. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up with you. I want to make love to you and make babies with you. I want you. I want you forever." Then the rambling began. "I don't have a ring. I'll get you one. You can pick it out if you want, but I just couldn't wait. It just felt like now was the time." When I finally shut my mouth and focused on Jenna, she had huge tears in her eyes. "No don't cry. Please don't cry. Is this not right for you? Do you want to wait? Do you…"

"YES!" she yelled over top of my babbling. "YES I'll marry you!"

Now it was my turn to be speechless, so she brought her mouth to meet mine in a kiss that woke every sense in my body.

"I love you Jenna. I love you forever."