Too Blind to See It!

"So Phoebe seemed pretty in to Travis," Zach commented between bites of meatloaf.

"Yeah for today."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not really the boyfriend type of girl. She's more of a love-em and leave-em type."

"I could see that I guess. Doesn't that get old though?" Zach asked.

"That's what I ask her, but then she just teases me because I haven't had a boyfriend in two years." As soon as I said it, I felt like an idiot. It was true, I'd been on a handful of dates, but nothing to write home about. The love of my life was my stories, my characters, my education. That's where my heart was and that's what I spent all my time on, and I liked it that way.

"And why is that? Why hasn't someone come by and grabbed you up?" he asked looking intently waiting for my answer.

"I have school, and I write for the paper, and some freelance things. I don't need or want complications."

"So men are complications?" he asked laughing at me.

"Kind of. I don't have time for dating. I don't really like dating around getting to know different guys until I find one that's worth my time. I guess I'm just waiting for the right guy to fall into my life."

"I'm really impressed Jenna. You're so together. You just seem to know where your life is headed and what you need to do to get there."

"Me? Look at you Mr. Hockey. You're doing what you love, and I'm guessing you've been focused your whole life to get where you are now."

His eyes lit up like they did when I walked into the locker room earlier that night. "You've got me there. Hockey makes me happy. It's my passion." I gave him a look that he clearly couldn't read, so he asked. "What? What are you thinking?"

"Nothing, it's really none of my business."

"No it's Ok say it."

"It's just when you talk about hockey you get a sparkle in your eyes; you smile from ear to ear."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's none of my business," I said again.

"Come on Jen, say it."

I smiled at the shortening of my name. "When you talk about hockey, you clearly light up, but when you talk about Allison, you roll your eyes. EVERY time."

"I don't," he replied more asking then telling and looking embarrassed.

"You do," I assured him.

He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck looking down at his plate.

"I shouldn't have said that Zach. It wasn’t my place. I'm sorry."

"No, you're my friend. You should be able to say anything." He paused for a second. "And you're not wrong," he added.

I looked down at my grilled cheese already knowing I wasn't wrong, but wishing desperately I hadn't opened my big mouth.

"It's really Ok. Allison and I... well she moved here with me from Minnesota."

"Really?" I asked shocked. Zach was a Minnesota boy through and through, and it was adorable on him. There was nothing Minnesota about Allison.

"Yeah. We've been together since we were kids really at least off and on. When I went to Shattucks for high school, I missed her so much, but we weren't that far apart so I saw her pretty regularly. Then I went to UND, and it was even worse. We dealt with it though seeing each other during holidays and the summer. When I got drafted I decided I wasn't going to be without her ever again, and I asked her to come with me. Being together in Albany was perfect, just the two of us against the world. You know?" I didn't know, but hearing him say it made me want to know. "We got along great and life was exactly what I'd expected it to be. We were closer than I ever thought we could be, and we were both really happy, at least I think we both were. When I got called up, it was like I got that dream, but lost something really important to me in the process. Everything changed. All of a sudden her attitude changed. She acts like she's better than other people, that's not my Allison. She started wanting things, lots of things. Don't get me wrong Jenna, I'd buy her anything, anything. I don't care about money, but the stuff, it doesn't seem to make her happy. If there was something that I could buy that would put us back where we were in Albany, I'd buy it. I hardly even recognize her anymore." His eyes were dull, and he pushed his food around his plate with his fork.

****

Two days later finding out that classes were canceled for the day due to an outbreak of H1N1, I capitalized on the time to catch up with my characters and do a little writing. I'd finally stopped daydreaming about a man who was not and would never be mine long enough to become completely engrossed in my story. I was helping the heroine of my story work her way out of the drama I had actually put her in when I was thrust into the real world by the soft knocking on my door. It was the middle of the day and virtually everyone I knew was either working or at school.

I flung open my door and came face to face with unnatural perfection. Before I could even say hello, I took in her red hair pulled delicately into a side ponytail while mine was in a sloppy bun. Her make-up was applied with precision accuracy, while mine wasn’t applied at all. Her clothes were designer, while I wore a baggy t-shirt and boxers, and her shoes were Prada snake skin 3 inch heels, while mine were white plastic flip flops revealing the chips in my polish. By the time I managed a “Hello,” it was obvious she’d sized me up as well and her smile turned to a look of disgust that I had to force myself to ignore.

“Jenna. It’s good to see you.” Her scripted words had zero meaning behind them.

“Ah, you too Allison." It wasn’t good to see her. She was everything that I wasn’t and usually that made me proud, but today I felt inferior. I guess that’s what daydreaming about her boyfriend for two days did to me.

She walked past me which I ignored since it was rude of me not to invite her in, in the first place, but when she looked around my apartment at the modern art, the cozy couch covered in pillows and the shaggy throw rug and turned up her nose, my patience grew short.

“It’s so small,” she squealed out , “I should give you the number of my decorator. I hear he does amazing things with small spaces.”

“I’m comfortable here,” I quipped in return. “I don’t need a lot of things to make me happy.” Ok, that was bitchy and totally targeted toward her, but the air between her ears kept the meaning from seeping through. (Oh, that was bitchy too.) “What can I help you with Allison?” I asked gruffly.

“Oh right. I was hoping you could do me a favor.”

A favor? Where she got off judging my appearance and my apartment, then asking for a favor, I did not know. I wanted to just tell her no without hearing her out, but that wasn’t the right thing to do, I reminded myself. “Why don’t you tell me what it is, and we’ll see.” I at least wanted her to have to convince me.

“I sort of made a commitment to Zach and the Devils to help out with this charity thing tomorrow. I found out that friends of mine are flying to Chicago for a shopping trip, and I really want to go. I tried just canceling on the charity thing, but they said they can’t replace me on such short notice. I know what a big Devils fan you are; Zach told me. So, I was thinking maybe you’d want to take my place.”

I couldn’t believe that she could be so self centered that she would cancel her commitment to the Devils’ charity to go shopping. I contemplated saying no, but then she said…

“It’s Ok if you can’t do it. Zach can just do it by himself.”

Blowing off the event was one thing, but screwing over her boyfriend in the process, that was just wrong. “You would do that?” I asked.

“Sure, Zach knows I hate these things, and he always forces me to do them anyway. Serves him right.”

“Serves him right?”

“He’s so needy sometimes. He really needs to learn to do these things on his own.”

I was appalled. The woman in front of me had the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Not only did she not appreciate that, she didn’t mind criticizing him right in front of me. As I saw it, I had two choices; I could do the Right thing or the wrong thing. The wrong thing would be to lay in to her and tell her what a bitch I thought she was. Tell her she doesn’t deserve Zach or those Prada shoes for that matter and forcibly remove her from my apartment. The right thing was to agree to do it.

“Does Zach know you’re asking me to do this?”

“No, silly. He’d just get mad at me for blowing it off.” ‘As he should,’ I thought. “I thought I’d get you to agree first and then tell him. He seems to like you. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him get friendly with a fan.”

I couldn’t let that go without clarification.“Zach and I are friends Allison... I’m a Devils fan.”

“Whatever. So, will you do it?”

Her eyes were bright and hopeful, and I couldn’t imagine how shopping would make her happier than spending quality time with her boyfriend and making a difference in the community. If Zach were my boyfriend I’d…I stopped that train of thought right there. Zach was not my boyfriend; he never would be, but I’d be damned if I’d let him get screwed over even if it was his own girlfriend doing it.

“I‘ll do it. On one condition. You need to ask Zach first. If he agrees then I’ll do it.” Of course I would have to skip class to do it, but maybe they would cancel classes one more day due to the flu thing.

****
I don’t venture into the city very often, even though I love everything about Manhattan. I guess I like admiring it from afar more than being submersed in it. After watching Phoebe schmooze a 40 something man into purchasing a black studded bra and a lace body stocking for his lover that cost $280. I laid on the red velvet couch inside Phoebe’s lingerie shop. Since Allison’s visit my thoughts kept going to places I didn’t want them to be, so I decided I needed an afternoon in the city with my best friend to make me sane again.

“I wish you’d visit me more often. We could have so much fun hanging out here all day,” Phoebe said from the inside the dressing room. She told me to wait there while she tried something on.

“Me too, but school’s important to me Pheebs.” I could say that till my face turned blue, and she’d still never get that.

“Not as important as the life lessons I can teach you Jenna,” and without even peaking to see if anyone was in the shop she paraded out in a teddy that left nothing to the imagination and made me do a double take.

“Holy Crap! Warn me when you’re going to come out here practically naked.”

“This is a lingerie shop, what else would I be trying on Snow White?”

“Would you stop calling me that already!” I demanded, my mood less than rosy.

“Jenna, you know I love you, but you think the perfect Prince Charming is going to ride in on a white horse and carry you off to make an honest woman out of you. Then you’ll live happily ever after. That’s just not the way life is my friend, but I’ll humor you since you want it so badly.” I covered my eyes and laid my head back knowing in my heart of hearts that she was wrong. I could find a man that met my standards and loved me unconditionally and would wait for me to give him the most intimate parts of myself. Man when I listed it all out like that even I started to doubt it.

“So what do you think?” she asked checking out her rear end in the three way mirror.

“I think you look sexy as hell, but really Pheebs what do you need lingerie for? I mean you don’t need to look like that to get a guy at a bar. Unless you’re planning to add stripper to your resume.”

“Well, if I’m seeing the same guy for the third time I might need this,” she said acting like a Price Is Right model directing my eyes to her transparent garment.

“What? The third time? Travis?” I asked sitting up.

“Yep, my cowboy.”

While I still wished she’d at least wait to be in a committed relationship before giving herself away, this was a huge step for her. Phoebe never (and I mean never) sees the same guy twice. I was all about commitment and falling in love, though I never really had, she was all about fun and not being tied down, well unless she could find a guy who would literally tie her down. “That’s awesome! You have a date? Where is he taking you?”

“Slow down there, don’t get ahead of yourself. We are going to have sex. He is going to make me have multiple orgasms, so many that I can’t see straight. Then maybe we’ll get take out, but I’m not staying over.”

I wrinkled my nose at her. “Your disgusting.”

“Disgusting? Maybe, but I’m just being honest. I could make up a love story for you if you want me to, but what Travis and I have is not love. It’s hot sweaty satisfying sex. Sorry Jenna girl.”

I sighed heavily laying back down and closing my eyes again while Phoebe slipped back into the dressing room to change. “So what’s crawled up your ass today. You seem testy.”

“Allison crawled up my butt, and I can’t seem to get her out.”

Phoebe laughed hysterically at my choice of words. “I'm just gonna let that go. I'm not sure how much teasing you can take today. Who’s Allison? Oh your neighbor’s girlfriend? The one with the fake tits?”

Normally I’d scold her for saying that, but not today. Today I laughed. "She has some nerve. She barges into my house today, says she wants to go on some shopping trip and asks, can I do some charity thing with Zach tomorrow in her place. I mean come on. Something is seriously wrong with her."

"It's her fake tits, their leaking, and it's seeping into her brain." I laughed, only Phoebe could make me laugh at a time like this. "So you told her to go fuck herself right?"

"Oh, no. I'm gonna go."

"You What?" Phoebe asked now loud and scolding.

"I told her I'd do it."

"No fucking way Jenna. I ask you to skip school all the time, but you're always like 'no I have school. School's important.' What the hell? Oh wait a second. I see what this is about." Phoebe had exited the dressing room and was now circling me like a vulture, and it made me nervous. "You like this guy. You want him."

"No I don't," I heartily objected.

"Don't lie to me Jenna. You want him. You want him to lick you all over don't you. You little harlot. You're gonna steal him from little miss fake bake." She giggled, pleased with herself.

"That's not true. It's just she's not going to go no matter what I do, and then Zach will be left to do this charity thing all by himself."

Phoebe flopped down beside me. "Poor Zachy Pooh. He'll be all alone, and Jenna can't have that. Funny how you don't have the same sympathy for me when I ask you to do inventory with me, or model in one of my lingerie shows."

I was angry. My intentions were sincere, and I was sick of her accusing me of less than innocent motives where Zach was concerned. "Let's get this straight. Zach is my friend. I care about him as a friend. I am helping him out because his girlfriend is screwing him over, and I am never modeling in one of your lingerie shows, EVER. So stop asking.

"What if Zach asked you to model lingerie for him. Would you?" She smirked and tickled under my chin.

I slapped her hand away. "NO. No. You're ridiculous."

"Oh come on Snow White. Maybe Zach’s the Prince Charming you’ve been waiting for. He has a little thing for you. Admit it."

"He does not."

"Right. He's at your apartment all the time. He looks at you like you're angel sent from heaven. He obviously talks about you to his friends. Marc Staal knew who you were before you walked in that room the other night. Then Zach got all pissy when he was flirting with you.

"Marc Staal wasn't flirting with me."

"He was totally flirting with you, and you my innocent friend have two sexy hockey players hot for you. Maybe you can get the two of them to..."

"PHOEBE!"

****

Zach stood in my kitchen, this time he brought soup, fresh baked bread and more pie. “You didn’t have to do this Zach.” I pulled bowls from the cupboard.

“It’s the least I could do since you agreed to do that charity thing with me tomorrow. It’s kind of awkward that Allison bailed. I was pissed when I got home and saw that she’d left for Chicago, but then I saw her note saying you’d agreed to come. We’ll have a good time.”

“Wait a minute. She left without asking you if it was Ok for me to take her place? She left without saying good bye?”

Zach’s face turned a little red. I guess I’d hit with a dose of reality, that maybe there was something wrong with the way that went down. I felt very bad for making a big deal out of it, and I could see how much it bothered him.

“Sorry, Zach. I just told her that I wanted her to check with you first. So knowing that she left without doing that…Well never mind.”

“Well, I’m fine with it. Maybe Allison and I need a little time apart. Besides, why wouldn't I be Ok with you coming."

"I don't know. I just thought maybe it would be uncomfortable. I mean won't people as questions? Won't it be weird to be there with a girl who is not your girlfriend?"

"I didn't think it would be weird, at least not till now." He teased. "Who helps me is really no one's business. It will be fun spending time with you Jenna. It’s a children’s charity, we take a group of kids shopping for winter coats and boots and stuff.”

“That’s what Allison bailed on?” I asked surprised. “I mean it seems like this would be her thing.”

Poor Zach was obviously frustrated with her, and my questions were not making it easier on him. “I know. Right?” He said rolling his eyes.

“You just did it.” I said and pointed to his eyes.

We both laughed. “You’re right. I did. I wonder why Allison's never noticed that?"

'Because she only pays attention to herself,' I thought.

I was getting drinks from the frig when my phone rang.

“Excuse me for a second Zach. It's a New York number that I don't recognize. I always worry that something's wrong with Phoebe."

"Hello."

"Is this Jenna?' The masculine voice did not sound vaguely familiar. This was not Phoebe.

"Yes, who is this?"

There was a hesitation before he said, "It's Marc, Marc Staal."

"Ah. Marc. Hi. How did you get my number?" I asked. I was caught off guard and looked across the kitchen at Zach. He had been trying politely not eaves drop, but now I had his full attention.

"Well, I kind of stole it from Zach."

"Stole it?"

"Well I asked him for it, but he refused to give it to me. Do you have any idea how protective he is of you?"

Zach was being protective of me? "I guess not."

"Well he is. I waited for him to put his phone down and swiped it."

"Ah OK." He was confessing his thievery to me, yet I still didn't know why he was calling. "So what can I do for you Marc?" I waited for him to ask me for Phoebe's number. After all, isn't that what all guys want?

"I'm leaving tonight for a short road trip, I'll be back on Wednesday."

"So do you want me to walk your dog or something, because I don't live that close to the city."

Marc laughed on the other end. It was a real belly laugh, like I'd just said the most hysterical thing. Zach looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched.

"No, I don't have a dog Jenna. I'm calling to ask you out to dinner. Maybe Wednesday night?

“Dinner? Like a date?” Was Marc Staal asking me out on a date? Was Phoebe right? I should have been excited that a man was showing interest in me, but I was more pissed that Phoebe was right.

Zach seemed to scowl in disapproval, and he shook his head no.

My surprise caught Marc off guard. “Ah, yeah. I mean if you want to.” He seemed to be preparing for rejection.

Zach looked serious, and I could tell he was waiting for my answer.

"I don't know Marc. I..." I didn't know what to say. Did I really want to go out with a hockey player? I mean he's a famous athlete, what are the chances that someone like him and someone like me would work. I got caught in my thoughts again when Marc replied.

"Well how about lunch then. I can come to you. You have to eat lunch right."

"I guess."

I never actually said yes, but both Marc and Zach took my response as a yes. Marc and I talked about where to meet and when while Zach put his head in his hand like he'd lost a battle.

"Zach?" I asked as I hung up the phone.

"Was that who I think it was?"

"Your friend Marc Staal."

"How in the hell did he get your number?"

"He said he asked you for it and when you said no, he swiped your phone and took it."

Zach rubbed the back of his neck. "That little...Sorry Jen. It's just..."

His reaction to this whole thing caught me off guard, maybe Phoebe was right about Zach too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hopeful as I asked, "Just what Zach?"

"I just." His face was flush, and I could see him struggling for words. "I just didn't think it was right to give him your phone number without asking you first. I mean it's not really appropriate right?"

Of course that was the reason. It was crazy for me to think that maybe he'd been jealous.