It Was Easier Not Loving You

Niki turned over in bed and bashed her head into a large object. She opened her eyes and was momentarily blinded by the light. The object groaned and moved. She rubbed her forehead and groaned at the throbbing hangover and noticed she was laying next to a man in bed. Naked. She screamed and he put his hand over his ear.

"Ugh, don't scream. What do you think you're doing?"

She gazed at his arm. She knew those tattoos.

"Oh my god. Mike?!"

He paused and turned around. "Niki?!"

"Dear God, what have we gotten ourselves into?"

They stared at each other in dead silence.

"What the hell are we going to tell the guys?" he asked. She couldn't reply, she only shook her head. "We can play it by ear, I guess, or tell the truth."

Niki looked down at the mattress where the bed sheets were ripped away and sprawled out on the bed. She took a deep breath. "I can't believe this happened. This wasn't supposed to happen."

Mike propped himself up on his elbow and tilted his head to the side. "Need I be offended by that?"

She shook her head. "I didn't plan on having sex until after I was married. I can't believe I did that."

He cocked his eyebrows and exclaimed, "You were a virgin!?"

She nodded. He threw himself down on his back and planted his hands on his face.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry."

"I know we're going to get an ass load from the guys. Ugh."

"No doubt about it."

They sat in silence, aside from their sighs, for nearly an hour. Niki finally got up, gathered her clothes and left. Mike groaned.

Niki called a cab and rode home. She stayed home the next three days and didn't answer any of Mike's calls. Her answering machine had about 20 messages, all but three were from him. She felt a little bad about rejecting him like she is, she knows it's not his fault that they were drunk, but she was waiting until marriage to have sex.

"I don't know if I can forgive myself." Mike buried his face in his hands.

"Aw, honey, it isn't your fault. Things like that happen when you're drunk," Adrienne comforted as she ran her hand down his back.

"But I stole from her. I can never give back what I took."

Adrienne frowned. She bent down and wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hugged his back. "Just give it time. I'm sure she'll understand that you didn't mean to. You both were wasted to the core."

"I hope. I don't want to lose one of my best friends."

Niki lay on the grass staring up at the stars. She wished her head were as clear as the night sky, but she knew it would it would take a while to achieve that clarity. She wished she never went to the club last night and got drunk. She wished her first time wasn't under the influence. She wished she could just get away for a while. She knew what was done was done and there is no changing that, but she just wants to clear her head.

Niki closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. A lightning bug was swept away by her breath and flew up her nose. She choked and tried blowing it out. After many attempts it finally dislodges itself and flies away. She falls back down on her back and groans.

"Wow, only me," she mutters.

"Hey." It was a familiar male voice.

Niki leaned her head back and saw a silhouette of a man.

"Hey, Tre. What's up?"

"I thought you'd be here. Mind if I join you?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Tre laid down next to her with his hands behind his head and gazed at the stars.

"I heard about last night. Are you alright?"

She didn't reply. Tre looked over at her and she shuffled a little.

"Yeah," she lied.

He could see the outline of her face vaguely and knew without a doubt she was lying. He turned on his side and held her hand.

"Please talk to me. I know after something like that, that you're not okay. I know it's something hard to swallow."

A tear ran down Niki's cheek. She bit her bottom lip.

"I never planned on having sex until I was married or completely for sure I was in love. I never planned on it being drunken sex, either. I wanted to be under full control of what I was doing." She paused. "I understand that it wasn't completely our faults because we were drunk, but it still doesn't make it right. I'm not blaming anyone, but it's going to take a while for me to snap out of this."

Tre rubbed her arm and pulled her into her chest. Niki buried her face in his chest and began to cry softly.

"Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded and pulled him closer.

"Do you want to go back home?"

She didn't know what she wanted. She liked where she was now, but she didn't know if she wanted to go home with him or to her house. She didn't know why, but Tre made her feel better when he was around. After last night she knew she wasn't ready to get too close, but she didn't want to be alone.

"Can I go home with you?" she asked.

He raised his brows and looked down at her.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I don't want to be alone tonight. I just feel better around you."

He pulled her back to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"I'd love that."