If Only Time Flew Like a Dove

No one knows my secret. I could never tell them; it would ruin my whole life, let alone my career.

What happened?
Exactly one year ago today, when I was seventeen years old, and still living with my best friend Alicia in our dingy old flat, I decided that I actually wanted to get on and do something with my life.

I wanted to sing. I'd always had a passion for singing, from a very early age. So I wanted to be in a band.

I won't waste your time by explaining what happened, but I'd got a band together, called Paramore, and after a while, we eventually got big. I changed my whole entire look, to become the lively, charismatic frontwoman that I aspired to be. I changed because I didn't want anyone to notice that it was really me, Hayley Williams.

I couldn't cope with fame, every single day. I became depressed with the idea of being in some big rock band. I began to miss my old life, back when I was just a normal girl, when nobody noticed me in the streets, and where I could keep to myself and not have to worry about anything, and take life as it came.

But the last thing on earth that I would even dream of doing would be to leave the band. So I decided to split my personality. Some days, I would be Hayley, the small, shy, off-centre Tennesee kid. And other days, I would be Hayley Williams, the bright, bubbly, outgoing Paramore girl.

It was harder to juggle between two lives that I expected. I have to handle two best friends, two homes, two careers, two personalities, and worst of all, now I have to be in love with two boyfriends.

But I can't go back now.