In Fate's Hands

“Riley! We’re home!” I heard Mom say as she came through the front door with dad, carrying groceries.
I was slightly disappointed when I saw those bags. I always go shopping with them!

“Oh, you’re right there. Hello, Ethan.” She said, smiling at him.

He smiled that ridiculously adorable smile and waved. “Hey.”

“Keegan! Kaedyn! Come out and help your father and I bring in groceries.” Mom called down the hall.

They emerged from their room, groaning. “Why can’t Riley help?”

“He has company, now lets go.” Mom ordered.

They sighed and shuffled in and out of the house, each time ripping a new complaint towards me. Mom looked like she was about to physically hurt them. I held in my laughter.

Once all the groceries were in the house and the twins went back into their room, I started feeling nervous. This was it. This was the moment that I spill my whole being to my parents. I don’t know if I’m ready to do this, but it’s now or never.

I felt Ethan elbow me. I looked at him. He smiled and nodded at me, knowing what I was about to do and kissed me softly. “You’ll be fine. Come on.”

He pulled me up by my arm as he stood. I laughed, continuing to smile afterwards. I had the slightest bit of confidence that this would turn out good.

“I swear, those two are the laziest kids I’ve come to know! If they don’t start doing their fair share of work around here, then they’re out when they turn 18.”

I did a little happy dance in my head. They’ll finally be gone!

I got back into my mindset and peaked out from behind the wall. “Mom, dad.” I said quietly.

“Yes, honey?” Mom asked, setting down whatever can she just picked out of the bag.

I looked at the floor, starting to pick at my nail, the nervous feeling I had being intensified by about a thousand, my stomach doing flips. Any confidence I had in myself was gone. What if she doesn’t accept me? What if this is the last good moment we have between us? I sighed, my breath shaky. “I…have something to tell you.”

Mom and dad looked concerned, then turned to Ethan. “Could we possibly-?”

Before I could protest and say that he should stay, Ethan said, “Oh, sure, sure, sure.”

Now my stomach was falling down a cliff, and the ground was nowhere in sight. I swear I’m going to throw up.

Ethan left, giving me a look that said he had faith in me.

Then he disappeared down the hall.

Now it’s just me versus my parents.
I stepped into the kitchen further, Mom resting her hand on my shoulder. “What’s the matter, Riley?”

I felt tears brimming my eyes, threatening to fall, all the bad things that could happen running through my mind. I looked right into Mom’s eyes, then looked over to Dad.

Now or never.

“Mom, dad.” I said again, a tear falling down my cheek. “I’m gay.”

Mom and dad both gasped, mom covering her mouth in shock.

That made the tears really start falling. I hid my face, feeling ashamed of myself, because my parents were disappointed in me.

“Riley, why are you crying?” Mom asked, wrapping me in one of her warm hugs.

“I’m scared.” I said into her shoulder.

“Of what, honey?” She asked, petting my hair.

“Of you being ashamed of me.” I whined, grabbing her sweater with my shaking hands.

She rubbed my back and calmed me down. “Riley, sweetie, no matter what, we’ll always love you.” I heard Mom’s sweet voice in my ear.

I hugged her tighter and smiled into her shoulder.

I let go of her and wiped my eyes, starting to laugh a little. “I got myself so worked up over that, when I knew you wouldn’t care, because you accept Kaedyn. I’m sorry for this whole thing.”

“Don’t apologize, Riley. You had every right to get worked up about that, it’s not an easy thing to tell your parents.”

I sniffled and smiled, looking at Dad. “Dad?”

He just looked at me, looked away, and walked out of the kitchen, going outside.

I felt my lip starting to quiver again as I stared hopelessly at the closed backdoor.

“Don’t worry about your father, he’s just…surprised is all. He’ll simmer down and everything will be back to the way it was in no time.”

“That’s what you said to Kaedyn, and Dad hardly speaks to him.” I said in a monotonous voice.

She gave me one of her “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to believe it” looks. Rubbing my shoulder.

“There’s something else you should probably know.” I said, feeling a little better about telling them I was dating Ethan now that they knew the truth about me.

“Anything, sweetheart.”

“I’m dating Ethan.” I said quickly, not looking her in the eyes.

“Oh.” Mom said, not sounding completely offended, but not the happiest person in the world with what I said. “Wha-what made you chose him?”

My mood shot down significantly. “Why do you sound so unenthused? I thought you liked him.” I shot back, crossing my arms over my chest, letting the stubborn, slightly bitchy side of me take over.

“He just doesn’t seem like your type-” Mom started.

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, Mom.” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “Go get dad and then we can go and talk to Ethan.”

She gave a slight nod and went outside to fetch Dad. It might take a little longer than I’d hoped, since she’s probably going to talk to him about me and how he’s acting.

While Mom and Dad were outside talking, Kaedyn came into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. “So how’d it go?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Could’ve gone better. Mom’s fine, dad not so much.”

“He’s got a stick up his ass, he’s the same way with me.” Kaedyn said, tracing the opening of the Mountain Dew can.

“Great.” I said sarcastically.

Kaedyn left, going back down the hall and into the bathroom.

Five minutes of Mom reasoning with Dad later, they finally came in and Mom smiled at me, which was a signal for me to go down the hall. When I saw that he wasn’t in my room at all, I glanced at Keegan and Kaedyn’s room, and only the worst came to my mind.

Behind that door, Ethan could be fucking either of the twins. He could be…but I had confidence in him that he wouldn’t do anything like that. He admitted that he loves me, I doubt anyone could break all that.

I thought about knocking, but decided against it. I turned the door handle slowly, and when I saw inside, I couldn’t believe it.

Right there, right on Keegan’s bed, Keegan and Ethan were about to fuck each other senseless.

Ethan saw me and his eyes got wide, even wider when he saw my parents in the doorway with me.

An array of emotions were tugging at my heart right now: hurt, regret, anger, despair, confusion, and the list goes on. All of those emotions were gashing at my heart with such intensity that the pain felt real, like my heart was actually aching for what was going on before me.

Ethan flew out from underneath Keegan and quickly slipped some clothes on as my parents looked away.

“No, Riley, it’s not what it-” Ethan started pleading, putting his shirt on.

“No, shut your fucking mouth. I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit excuses.” I yelled, not caring if my parents were there when I was swearing, I had every right to be swearing.

I coughed out a sarcastic laugh. “I should’ve known, I really should’ve. But no, you tricked me. You put blinders on me so I couldn’t see what you were doing when I wasn’t watching or couldn’t see you. I was so stupid to believe that you actually meant what you said earlier.” I said, my voice getting progressively louder.

“But I really-” Ethan tried again, getting closer to me, but I just backed away again.

“No you didn’t, Ethan! You never did! You’ve never loved anyone. You can’t, it’s impossible for you. I was so fucking senseless to think that someone who’s as much of a dick as you are could change. That someone as plain and boring as me could somehow bring about some miraculous change that makes all the bad stuff disappear. No. You hid it, and now it’s coming out.” I yelled, tears falling down my already tear stained cheeks. “I poured my heart out to you, and this is how you treat me? Throw it to the side and stomp on it like all the others you’ve fucked and left in a daze?” I sniffled, wiping my cheeks.

I let Ethan step up to me and put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them, staring straight into my eyes with his. “Riley, could we please just talk about this?”

“What is there to fucking talk about, Ethan!? I walked in on you getting ready to fuck my brother, the same day you told me you loved me. The same fucking day that I admitted the hardest thing I’d ever have to admit to my parents. I did it for you, Ethan, but now that reason is nothing but a bunch of bullshit. None of that meant anything to-”

My sentence was cut off by Ethan’s lips. I put my hand on his cheek softly, almost falling for his “apology”.

I pulled away and slapped him across the face. “Once a whore, always a fucking whore.”

With that, I left the room, walking past my parents and out the door, walking to Ian’s house. I don’t care if I walk in on their perfect evening, in all honesty, this is more important.