Here, Here, and Here

*Tom’s POV*

“What the heck was wrong tonight Tom?” Georg asked me.

“I agree” Bill added, “I’ve never heard you miss so many notes and work the crowd less than you did tonight.”
I knew they were right but I really didn’t care. Even now I was pretty much out of it. We all left to go back to the hotel for the night but I needed to talk to my brother. I grabbed his elbow and swung him around to face me.

“Hey” he started to complain, “Never mind, what’s wrong” he decided to say instead when he saw the scared look on my face.
“I’ve got to talk to you, now” I say forcefully.

“What’s wrong?” he says slower and more demanding.

“Listen to this math” I begin. “If Keevie was born in the first week of November nine months earlier would be the first week of February.”

“But didn’t we leave in March?” he asked confused.

“Yeah, February was also a month before Avy and I broke up.”

He gasped. I think he finally got what I was trying to get at, “Please tell me you two didn’t.”

“It all makes sense now. Why she left, why she was so angry that day, and why she’s so pissed at me about what I’ve done over the years.”

“Did you ever think that you have a right to be pissed?” he asked his voice getting a little louder.

I gave him a confused look and he continued, “She kept your daughter, your flesh and blood from you for four years! She left and left no hint to where she went!”

“Why are you so angry!?” I raise my voice because it feels like he’s attacking me also.

“She also kept my niece from me!”

“Way to be thinking of you, thanks for being there bro” I say and turn away. I was gonna take a taxi back to the hotel; I needed to be by myself.

*Eibhlin’s POV*

I was hanging out in the lobby, waiting for Tom. Georg and Gustav had told me that the concert hadn’t gone well and that Tom was a bit out of it the entire time. I hadn’t seen the concert because I was getting Reaghan settled and teaching her a few things about the band and Keevie and myself.

For some reason I felt like something was wrong and that’s why I was waiting for him. I was getting a bit nervous and it was getting a bit stuffy in the lobby and it was getting hot to. I decided to sneak out a maintenance door by the restrooms to get some air and calm myself down. I get out in the alley-way and I see Tom stalking towards me.

He starts to walk right by me, ignoring me on purpose but I grab him by the shoulder and make him stop.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask my voice full of calm concern.

He looks at me and screams I swear, “When the hell were you planning on telling me?”

“Telling you about what?” I ask getting defensive; I don’t like being yelled at unless I start it.

“Caoimhe! When the hell were you gonna tell me that she was named after my mom, not because of how much she helped you but because that’s her grandma!?”

“Maybe when you stopped living like a freaking man-whore!”

“Maybe this would be the better question, why the hell didn’t you tell me in the first place?” he shouted blowing off my first answer.

I couldn’t tell him the real reason. Hell, I couldn’t admit the real reason to myself. I had to lie, again, but at the time I didn’t know I was lying per say I was just so angry that it came out.

“Because you would’ve and still would make a horrible father!!” I regret it as soon as the last syllable is spoken. As he comprehends what I said his face takes on no change, but I see the wounds being torn by the look in his eyes.

“A horrible father!? How? Please do explain.” He demands using my insult to injury as fuel to his fire.

“You drink too much, you party even more, and you have another girl for every concert I swear. You’re immature and . . . you just would, I know you.”

“You don’t know anything, bitch” he says his final words and leaves. I stumble back against the dirty wall and slide down. I sit like that for about a minute and a half after Tom left, with my eyes closed and my body numb.

I decide to go back to my room and get a shower. I’m all nasty from sitting in the alley and I had been running around all day. By the time I got back up to my room the numb feeling was fading away and it all hit me at once.

The look in his eyes after I said that killed me. And it was still killing me as I relived every time I blinked. After that I just broke down. I collapsed by the bed in a heap and tears just started pouring out of my eyes. Severely strong sobs escaped my lips in half second increments.

After about five minutes of that I calmed down to just silent tears and a few gasps here and there. I felt the bed move behind me and then I heard Keevie whisper in my ear, “Why are you crying Mommy?”

“Because . . . Mommy hurt someone she loves very much.”

“Love huh?”