Into My Arms

Valentines Day

“You were serious? You really want to risk us being together?” I laughed.

“I’m willing to risk it for you…if you’re willing to risk it as well,” he said and I felt knots in my stomach.

“Okay…no presents though,” I ordered.

“If you say so,” he sang.

“I do…”

“I’ll pick you up at six,” he proclaimed.

“Cant wait,” I whispered as I played with the ring on my finger he had given me for my birthday.

“Have a good day…I love you,” he told me.

“I love you too Nick…see you tonight”, I said.

“See you tonight,” he agreed and we hung up.

I sighed happily and yet very nervously. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to get some orange juice. “You okay?” Anna asked as she was writing something in her planner on the island.

“Nick and I are going out tonight,” I said.

Her head snapped up at me. “You know today is Valentines Day right?” she asked me.

“I am well aware”

“And you’re still going out?”

“He really wants to try and go out without us fighting and he wants to spend one Valentines Day with me…so I’m willing to try”

“Okay,” she sang and went back to what she was doing. “Control your temper though,” she added.

I just rolled my eyes at her. “It’s not my fault…” I started to say but she just gave me a look. “It’s not! It’s his!” I claimed but the door bell rang.

“I think it’s both…” she was cut off by her opening the door and I could tell she didn’t finish the sentence because of who was at the door.

“Eric…” her voice trailed off.

“Eric?” I whispered and began to walk toward the door.

“Can I talk to Rachael please?” he asked.

I came into view. “Eric…what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” he asked.

“Sure. Anna cancel my interviews today please,” I requested.

“Already ahead of you…I‘ll be with Zach for the day so I‘ll just see you tonight,” she said, pulling out her cell phone and walking out the door. She could obviously see Eric was in deep need of help as well.

“I don’t want you to cancel your plans for the day, we can just…”

“No. We can talk now. Anna is canceling everything already and there’s nothing that will stop her…” I said.

Then I took his hand and led him outside onto the porch for some air. We walked to the side and I spun around to face him. “Now tell me, wh-…” I was cut off by his lips.

Eric…was kissing me! I couldn’t even process it all as he had on arm wrapped around my waist and his other hand held my head close to his. I hate to admit it…but I started kissing back…but then I stopped it. I put both hands up against his chest and pushed him away…then I slapped him. As soon as I did…I gasped.

“Eric… I’m sorry…I…what the hell were you doing?!” I shouted at him.

He grabbed his face and I saw the look in his eyes…he was sorry. “I…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…it was just an impulse…”

“Eric! Just tell me what’s going on,” I demanded.

Tears started to form in his eyes and he began pacing around as he was pulling at his hair. “She has cancer…it got to her liver…”

“Who? Your sister?”

“Yes. Melody has cancer. It got to her liver…she’s not going to make it Rea,” he sobbed.

All emotions flooded out of me…I forgot about what I felt when Eric kissed me…the anger…the confusion…the love…

“Eric…” I whispered…but I was at a loss for words.

“I just…I cant…” he started to say but didn’t finish.

He was so agitated and angry…he kicked the banister so hard it made me jump and then he spun and punched the wall. It was so hard and loud that I took a step forward to try and stop him but I froze…he made a dent and his knuckles were all red and now scraped. He just pounded on the wall again…with less force and he sobbed. I walked to him and pulled him close to me and hugged him tight as he cried into my shoulder and I comforted him.

“Shhh it’s okay,” I whispered.

“It’s not fair,” he sobbed.

“I know it’s not…but making holes in my walls wont solve anything,” I joked very, very lightly.

I felt him shake…I wasn’t sure if it was from the crying or if he was laughing…then I heard a very small chuckle and I smiled.

“I’m sorry…I’ll fix it…”

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” I asked him.

I put both hands on the back of his neck, gripping his hair lightly and our foreheads were touching. It was a very…intimate moment.

I looked into Eric’s eyes as he looked into mine. I shut my eyes and my breathing became uneven. This time it was slow…he began to bring his lips closer to mine…and then I closed the gap by placing my lips on his. The kiss was deep and affectionate and our lips moved in sync with each others…as we worked our way back inside. He held me close as we continued our little session and he turned the knob, kicking the door open and then kicking it closed again. He pinned me up against the wall and…it definitely got pretty intense as we continued up the stairs. It was affectionate…it was deep…it was filled with mixed emotions…it felt amazing…It wasn’t like Nick’s kisses though…and that’s exactly what made me stay sane and aware of everything. It felt wrong. It was wrong. . It wasn’t right…I was cheating. Cheating on my boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend. This demeanor…was not like me. The worst part…was the fact that I was thinking about Nick the whole time while kissing Eric…and I imagined Nick’skisses…not Eric’s. So maybe that’s what led me to keep this little charade up…I don’t know what it was…but it wasn’t like Nick’s…his kisses and affection for me was different. Nothing like what I’ve grown used to…and yet I kept going…picturing Nick’s touch…Nick’s lips…Nick’s love.