Into My Arms

"I can't believe you're making me do this" I said to Anna for the fifth time, today. I was in a hoody and jeans because it was kind of rainy outside.

"You said it yourself that you loved the story line"

"I do! But that doesn't mean I want to tryout for it"

"Rachael, I won't let your not-being-able-to-sing-depression stage get in the way of the rest of your work and what you love doing. I'm not sure when you’ll get your singing voice back...or if...but that doesn't mean you can stop everything all together...besides, this could be really good for you...to take a break from music and take a whole different direction...and Nick would want..."

"Don’t even start talking about Nick like he's dead because he's not, and I want to go see him after the audition so Joe and Demi will be picking me up today" I said. She just sighed in defeat.

It’s been weeks now. February has passed…Valentine’s Day has passed. I spent it at the hospital…well most of it. I tried to spend as much time as I could. I talked to Nick…reminiscing with him about our passed Valentine’s Day’s together…none of them worked…except for last year and it was because we avoided each other all day. I thought maybe we could at least move up a step and spend the day together and manage to stay together by the time it was over. Half way through the holiday, Selena and Taylor kidnapped me to do some shopping. Then when I tried to go back to the hospital, I found out that Big Rob drove my car to my house and Demi, Joe, Kevin, Danielle, Miley and Liam were all expecting me. I felt awkward…like the seventh wheel…and I didn’t want to ruin their day with each other…but Demi, Danielle and Miley tried so hard to make it less awkward…and the guys were a huge help as well. But it all still just didn’t feel right without Nick.

When I wasn’t at the hospital, I was caught being a “loner”. Articles, photos, radio shows and talk shows all explained what I was feeling. Like they knew even an ounce of what I was feeling. It’s not that I didn’t love the others, I love them to death and I know they all mean well and they’re worried about me but lately I’ve just really wanted to be alone. To do my own thing. To get my mind off Nick…and yet everything that is said or done reminds me of Nick. I’ve been going to his house and just hanging in the living room watching tv with Elvis, imagining Nick would just walk through the door and join me…he never does. Demi and Joe do, Kevin and Danielle do, sometimes even Miley and Liam. I couldn’t move my things in. Not yet…I was supposed to…I was supposed to be moved in by now…but I just couldn’t do it. I wanted the feeling of Nick being with me and helping me move into his house…our house. Elvis would sit beside me with his head on my lap and occasionally whimper. He was waiting for him too. He knew something was wrong right from the start when I got out of the hospital, went to go see him and Nick wasn’t with me. We kind of just kept each other company, having the same hopes and thoughts. Sometimes I was even afraid to leave Elvis so I’d stay the night but I’d sleep on the couch. I’d be afraid to go into his room. Knowing I’d have a mental break down.

It’s late March now and I walked into the building without Anna. i was auditioning for the part of Elizabeth Kayla Winchester for a new show called Supernatural. Her name's Elizabeth but she doesnt like it so she tells people her name's Kayla. She's definitely a new character I've never tried. I signed in with some woman. She directed me into a waiting room where potential actors could be. Some looked at me and began to whisper. I ignored all of them as I took a seat. I sighed and thought I might as well look over the script again. I was startled when someone sat down next to me.

"Hey...I'm Andrew" he offered his hand to me.

"Rachael" I offered a smile and shook his hand.

"I know" he laughed a little under his breath. I got a good look at him.

"Hey you look oddly familiar" I commented.

"I’ve been on a few other CW shows for one or two episodes, I did some soap operas...I'm just trying to land a big role now though...and I think maybe this might be what I've been looking for"

I got an even better look at him. He was definitely gorgeous. He had pure brown eyes and shaggy brown hair that fell above his eyes. He seemed like he was 21, maybe 22. He was skinny but seemed really built…for a better picture, it was almost like he had Joe’s body. As I over-looked this guy, I couldn’t help but get this feeling in my gut…I was really going to like him…it was one of those feelings I usually get when something big is going to happen…like when I said Honor Society would make it big, or when I thought Burnin Up would be a hit. It was one of those feelings…and I think it kind of scared me a little.

"Umm I heard about what happened...your singing...with your boyfriend...I'm really sorry" he said.

I felt a lump in my throat with tears burning my eyes. I looked around at all of the other auditioners with high hopes in getting some jobs. I didn't even want to be here, it wasn't fair. “Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just really suck at small talk when I’m talking to a pretty girl” he said and I couldn’t help but giggle and roll my eyes.

“Okay…you’re forgiven, but only because you seem obviously desperate and pathetic and you get extra brownie points for complimenting me”

“Ouch. Desperate and pathetic. That’s harsh”

“Yeah, well I’ve been in a harsh mood lately” “I think everyone can tell” he said and I narrowed my eyes. He backed off.

“Who are you anyway?” I sneered.

“You wanna know who I am?”

“Yea I do” I gave a little attitude.

"I’m Andrew Ackles. I’m 21 years old, my favorite color is blue, I like long walks on the beach and staring at the sunset…” I laughed.

It was a genuine laugh…and for some reason…I felt bad about it. I felt bad for laughing at something some other guy said. I felt bad about having one of my weird gut feelings about this guy I just met. I felt bad for going on in life without Nick. It made me feel guilty as Nick’s face flooded my brain. I think he noticed my change of heart because he was giving me a kind of sympathetic look. But then the look changed…

“Why are you looking at me that way?” I asked and he seemed to try and shake the blush from his face.

For some reason he gave off a Joe feel…flirtatious, funny, caring…maybe it’s why I felt comfortable with him.

"We're ready for you three now" a woman said, looking at me, Andrew and this other guy.

"Ladies first" he said, standing and gesturing for me to go in front of him. We walked into a room with the other guy who also looked so familiar and I realized he was in a few shows himself.

"Hi I'm Seth and I'll be the director and producer of Supernatural and this will be the co-producer, Mary" he said, shaking our hands.

"Its nice to meet you" we all said.

"Okay introduce yourselves to each other and we'll show you where to begin"

"I’m Rachael Lewis" I said, shaking Andrews hand and the other guys hand. He was equally good looking. "I’m Jensen Ashter" the guy said with a really cute smile. "And I'm Andrew Ackles" he said.

"Okay now that we all know each other, start from...here" he instructed and flipped all of our pages for us.

We looked over it all and then when we looked up, we looked at each other, knowing we were ready. "Dean! It's so good to see you!" I exclaimed with a big smile as I jumped into Jensen's arms and hugged him. It was a good thing he had good reflexes because he caught me quickly and hugged me back.

"You too Lizzy. It's been a while..." he said, setting me down.

"Tell me about it. Is Sammy with you?" I asked.

"Umm no. I was actually going to go see him now...and I was wondering if you’d come with" I eyed him.

"What for?" I asked, uneasily.

"Oh, no reason..."

"I know that look...you’re lying...is something wrong?"

"Its dad..."

"Oh no. I am not going anywhere or doing anything that involves that man"

"Come on Lizzy. This is stupid. It's been a few yrs now..."

"Don’t call me Lizzy and I don't care Dean. I won't go hunting again..."

"What if I thought dad was in trouble..." I paused.

"I'm sure he's fine. And you can handle it without me"

"You had such potential...but ok if you really feel that way" he sighed.

Then he did something unexpected. He threw me over his shoulder. I made a shock of being in shock but I played off it. "Dean put me down" I tried not to laugh.

"Not until we get to Stanford, even if that means putting you in my trunk until we get there. Don't worry though, we'll make air pockets so you can breath. Won't want the lack of oxygen get to that smart pretty little brain of yours" he said and then walked out the door.

He set me down as the scene was over and I laughed. Seth and Mary were smiling as we shut the door again. It seemed like a good sign. "Okay let's get Andrew in there now...start here" Seth said, finding our spots.

“I cant believe you did that!” I yelled at Jensen and I made myself look threatening as if I was going to hit him but then Andrew lifted me up and spun me around. “It’s good to see you Kayla. You got…older”

“Its good to see you too big brother” I laughed as he set me back down. “Too bad we cant have regular, normal family reunions” I glared in Andrews direction.

“You threw our little sister in the trunk of your car?” Andrew asked, acting incredulous toward Jensen.

We both stared at him as he stared back as if thinking of something to say. “What? You know how much of a pain in the ass she is” he said.

“I learn from the best” I smirked.

“So why did you kidnap her anyway?” Andrew asked.

“Because I told him I wanted nothing to do with whatever it was that he wanted so he kidnapped me and threw me into the damn trunk of his crap of a car”

“Hey! Don’t diss the car!” he threw his finger out, pointing at her in a threatening fashion.

“Okay you two! That’s enough. Geez. After all these years and I still need to break up your fights” Andrew intervened.

“She started it” Jensen grumbled.

“Okay, one more…from here” Seth said.

"Kayla…” Michael began to say.

"No Dean, I told you and dad I was over hunting. He'll show up again, he always does. I'm sure he's fine..." I raised my face and made a lot of anger go into my facial expression. Then I became gentle. "I can't just leave with you, Dean...I have Jason...and school..." "I remember you used to love field trips...you loved to hunt"

"Sometimes I did...but I grew up and I started to live my own life"

"Yeah after you left me, Sammy and dad right? You know you scared the hell out of all of us?"

"Dean..." Andrew spoke up.

"No, Sam, she should know...when you left, we were so worried about you. You were only fifteen Kay..." he said with such a light, brotherly tone as I saw tears come to his eyes.

This guy was good.

"None of us could sleep. Sammy stopped talking for a while and it was a long time until I saw him smile again. Dad was always trying to keep tabs on you, letting friends know u mite be passing through so thy could keep an eye out. I lost my little sister...it was my job to protect you and I couldn't do it anymore since you ran off..."

"Dean..." I started as I actually got some tears to show in my own eyes.

"Things were never the same Lizzy…and then Sam went off to do his thing too when he was done with high school and he had a very similar fight with dad and I had to go through it all all over again...but fine, if you want to go live your normal life then go"

"I’m sorry" I whispered and then walked a few steps away and watched Andrew and Jensen act the scene together.

"What the hell was that?" Andrew said, furiously.

"You really want to drive our baby sister away even more? When u know we need her and she needs us?" he said, using hand and arm gestures and everything. Jensen rubbed his face.

"What do you want me to do Sammy? She would’ve chosen the same path no matter what I said"

"Well you didn't need to start yelling at her and make her feel bad. You know dad is a tough topic for her" Jensen made it look like he was agitated and didn't no what to do next. "Lets just get out of here" he muttered.

I didn't notice I was smiling so much until they stopped. They were really good. They'd definitely make me want to watch the show. "Okay that’s enough for today guys, thanks. We'll give you a call if we need any of you to come back" Seth said, shaking our hands.

"Thanks for coming guys" Mary added, shaking our hands.

"Thank you for having us" I said.

"What she said" they both said and then followed me out.

"Well it was nice working with you both today..." I started.

"Maybe we could work with together in the future" Andrew said.

"That’d definitely be cool" Jensen added.

"I agree. In the meantime though, I guess I'll see u guys around" I said and saw Joe and Demi waiting for me.

I walked over to them and looked over my shoulder to see Jensen and Andrew talking. Andrew looked over at me...and I have to be honest, he gave me a smile that melted me…and again, I felt guilty.

"How’d it go?" Joe asked. I sighed.

"It went well...the guys I auditioned with were really good and I did my thing”

"Then I'm sure you got the part" Demi said.

"But if I did get it then I'll be on location for like two years because they want to get the first two, maybe three seasons out right away"

"What? That's crazy" Joe commented.

"Yeah well...I won't take the job anyway if Nick isn't awake and out of that hospital"

"You really like this role though" Demi said, giving me a sad look.

"Don’t care. I'm not leaving here until he's awake. End of discussion"

"Rea you might want to rethink that..." Joe started.

"No Joseph. I won't do it. End of discussion" I repeated.

He shut up immediately...I guess it was because I used his full name. His phone started to ring. "Hello?...no way! Ok I'll tell her" he said and hung up.

"I think you'll be able to take the job" Joe said brightly. "He’s up" he added. My eyes went wide as I felt everything freeze.