Blank Sheet

I woke up to soft breathing in my ear. Warm finger tips brushed against my back, keeping me in place while I lifted my head and smiled up at Jimmy. The feeling I got from just looking at him in this light made me want to giggle. Of course I stayed silent and watched him sleep. He just looked so damn peaceful and handsome. Reaching up, I gently tucked his hair back so I could look at him some more. We were still fully clothed and I was laying on top of him while we were on the couch.

I could get use to this. Just being in his arms, the thrill of being on the run, the material that I was getting for my book. I could almost see an ending with Murphy ending up being a good bad guy and getting Connie to kind of fall for him. Things were going good, I just couldn’t wait till Jimmy paid off those guys and we start our next adventure. Hell we might run into pirates or get kidnapped by spies. As long as I have Jimmy next to me, I would be fine with it.

“Mmm,” he hummed as he slowly blinked his eyes open, smiling when he saw me watching him. “Morning beautiful.”

“Morning Love,” I grinned as I pushed myself up a bit and our lips met. “Missed you.”

“Missed me? I was right here the whole time,” Jimmy chuckled as he rested his hands on my hips.

“Yeah, this is true,” I giggled, kissing him again. “But I missed you still.”

“I missed you too, you crazy goose,” he grinned as he kissed me back. Giggling, I rolled off him and stood up, going to the kitchen. We never got to food last night, just the couch. “Did you want anything for breakfast?” I asked as I looked through the fridge. Eggs, sausage, cheese. Mmmm, omelets sounded good.

‘After last night I’m not surprised,’ Mot sneered. I merely grinned and pulled out the items. ‘What no witty come back or snappy remark?’

‘I’m busy Mot. I have. . . Dare I say a boyfriend?’ I mused as I got to work.

“Sure, I could eat,” Jimmy said as he got up from the couch stretching before coming into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me.

‘I think you should dare,’ Mot chuckled. Jimmy’s and my lips found the each other again before I pulled back and started breakfast.

“So?” I said as I started to sausage and beat the eggs.

“So. . .” Jimmy said as he got out the orange juice.

“Just for the record and my own sound of mind-” I started, but was cut off by his finger on my lips. I stopped and gave him a playful glare.

“I’ll get you a little sticker that says ‘Jimmy’s girl’ if you want,” he teased as he got the plates while I poured the eggs.

“Oh would you? I think it would go with these clothes,” I snorted. “You know what, now I can go through your stuff and sell it on eBay.”

“Don’t even,” he said turning on me with a smirk.

“Oh why not? I could make some extra cash while I get the lovely privilege of being your girlfriend,” I laughed.

“Ok, we’re gonna have to set rules down now aren’t we?” He cackled as he set plates down for me to slide the food onto.

“The Great Jimmy with rules? Oh God, some one go tell the press, I can quote Jimmy wanting to make rules!” I grinned as he rolled his eyes. “Wait. . . What’s your last name?” I asked. I had just been calling him Jimmy, but what was his last name?

“Sullivan,” Jimmy cracked up. “You were so willing to be with me that you didn’t even care that you didn’t know my last name!”

“I was preoccupied with the fact that we were being chased by loan sharks hell bent on breaking your legs!” I shot back.

“This is true,” he laughed. “It’s ok I forgive you.”

“Oh thank you. I thought I was gonna die there for a moment when you were considering not forgiving me,” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re aweful sarcastic for someone who gave you food, clothes, and shelter,” he said poking me in the sides. Squealing I squirmed away.

“It’s what I do. I’m sarcastic. I thought you said you were a fan of my books,” I said as I sat down and started to eat my breakfast.

“I am. I have both of them and plan on getting the third if you ever finish writing it,” he grinned as he sat next to me and dug in.

“I will, just give me some time! Writing books isn’t just an over night process thank you!”

“Excuses, excuses!” He cried.

“Wa wa wa, call the wa-ambulence!”

“Too bad, so sad, go call your dad!”

“Hoser!”

“Chicken wing!”

“Turkey butt!”

“What?” He cracked up, holding his side. “Did you just call me a turkey butt?”

“Yes!” I cackled, feeling my face go red with laughter. “What, what turkey butt!”

“Oh God,” he breathed as we slowly settled down before I took out plates and put them in the sink with our glasses.

“So Jimmy,” I asked. “What are we going to do today?”

“Why what we do everyday, try to take over the world.” We were holding onto our sides we were laughing so hard. It wasn’t even that funny. It was just that we were together and he had said it. Nothing more, nothing less. Suddenly though, the front door opened and all of a sudden everything came crashing down around me.

“Jimmy! We seriously need to work on the album now,” Matt, the guy that had been after Jimmy and I for the past few days, said walking in like he was friends with Jimmy. I stood there staring at him like a deer in head lights. “Oh. . .” He said pursing his lips as he looked between me and Jimmy. “I hope you told her.”

“Told me what?” I asked, trying to keep my temper. My Irish blood flaring up as it all clicked, I just wanted to hear Jimmy explain it.

“Uh. . . Fuck, Matt go outside,” Jimmy said nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. It was that one simple fuck up of Matt being bored and tired of playing his friend’s game that made my heart just rip in two.

“Sorry dude,” Matt said going back outside. There was a strained silence between us. Me trying not to lose it and either start bawling or smashing things. What the hell was I thinking!? This guy lied to me from day one. . . Why shouldn’t I have been surprised?

“Al. . .” He said softly as he reached out for my hand. Jerking it away, I turned and glared at him as hard as I could.

“What Jimmy?” I hissed.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed shaking his head.

“Sorry for what? Sorry for lying to me and dragging me across this city? Sorry that you didn’t get into my pants like you wanted? No wait, you’re sorry because you got caught,” I spat. Just a few days and this guy had taken me up so high only to drop me and let me crash and crumble. “I knew there was a reason that I never should have showed up when you asked me out.”

“Al! Please!” He begged.

“No Jimmy, you don’t get to play the ‘please’ card. Only couples do. We’ve only known each other for a week and that seemed enough to feel a connection. Well it was easy when it wasn’t real!”

“You’ve got it all wrong! Just let me explain!” Jimmy cried as everything was spiraling out of control for the both of us.

“No Jimmy! I don’t care! I feel so stupid and so naïve for ever even paying you any mind. You play your games for your own entertainment. Make yourself fell like you’re in a movie and then when you’re done with the heroine you let her go.”

“No that’s not it at all!” He seethed as he paced.

“Then what is it Jimmy!?” I yelled at him. We stood there staring at each other.

“I wanted to make your books more real, for you,” he said softly.

“I live in my books enough Jimmy, I don’t need to be in them all the time. Especially when someone’s trying to fool me with it,” I said calmly. “I’m leaving.” Stalking over to the living room, I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

“Al, please don’t leave,” Jimmy said following me.

“Just leave me alone! If I wanted someone to fucking lie to me every day I’d date a fucking magician!” I screamed at him as I marched to the door with him right behind me.

“I love you!” He yelled. I stopped at the door and I turned around to look at him.

“I don’t love you,” I said calmly before walking out and slamming the door behind me. Just a week and he tried to pull that card? You don’t love someone just after a week. It’s impossible! Infatuation and crushes yes, but love? I shook my head as I walked past Matt, not bothering to even give him a second look.

I started walking back to my place when I realized that it was over five miles away. Damn it. Sucking it up, I started to walk.

‘What are you doing!? You had a boyfriend! For the first time in what, seven years!?’ Mot cried as he tried to argue with me.

‘Mot. . . Just please leave me alone. . .’

‘Fine.’ Like a light switch had turned off, he was gone. It’s bad when even your imaginary friend is ignoring you. My long walk home had me pooped. I wasn’t even going to try writing. I’d already pissed off my muse off, so there was no use. Locking the door behind me, I slide my satchel down onto the floor and looked around.

Everything thing seemed do foreign, but I recognized everything. It was all mine, but something had changed. I had. . . I’d gone outside my box, taken a chance, and splattered all over the place. What’s worse. . . Being away from Jimmy was tearing me up as well as the hurt of him lying. Everything we’d done was a lie. It was all fake and nothing could change that.

He was probably some crazy person that wanted to live in a fantasy world where there was adventure around every corner, mobsters, loan sharks. . . Only in books and movies. . . Only in fiction. Yeah sure that stuff was real, but no one was constantly involved in that unless they were purposefully putting themselves into it. I didn’t. I wrote about chances that would happen in a million to one.

I lived in the real world while having a window seat to the fantasy world that I had created. When I had a fleeting thought, a week of the possibility of it being real. . . I was scared, skeptical. . . Excited even. Now my life seemed so empty. That week of being on an adventure was pure ecstasy. I wanted it back more than anything. Like a junky jonsing for his drug of choice.

My problem was that it was never real, my drug was fantasy and it had been snatched away cruelly. What scared me more was that I was so willing to live tin that world. I was so willing to leave behind everything that I knew and loved and felt safe in to have that one moment of bliss where I was standing on the edge of the cliff ready to jump with Jimmy’s hand in my mine.

Sitting on the couch, I felt my cheeks begin to cool down from the tears that were rolling out more by the second.

It all was a lie. . .

There was nothing I could do to get it back short of throwing myself into danger, but that wasn’t me. That was Mot. I wasn’t Mot. I wasn’t even Connie. I was Al. I played it safe and stayed on the sidewalk and crossed the roads only with no cars coming. Hell I even ignored people and kept to myself! Stupid Jimmy.

Stupid fun.

Stupid me.

*****

Ok sorry about no update yesterday, but my brother is in town for a while, so I will be a bit sporadic on updates. BUT!!!! Don’t fear my little followers, I will continue to update! This chapter is the result of watching My Chemical Romance’s ‘I don’t Love You’ video over and over and over. . . I hate it when it gets stuck in my head. So there you go! Thank you for my 9 comments, to my 47 readers and 15 subscribers! Happy holidays all!