Breathe

"I met Peter my freshman year. He had gone to a different middle school than I had, and so we were all adjusting to the different classmates. He sat next to me in World Geography, and for the first couple of months we didn't really talk; just asked the occasional question about the homework. Towards the end of the semester, though, we became really good friends and eventually, he asked me to go on a date with him. It went from there - getting dinner, and then seeing a movie. We took it rather slowly. There was no reason for us to rush, because after all, we were only freshmen.

"Peter was a fantastic person, and a great boyfriend. He never once let me pay for anything, always insisting on buying my food, and movie tickets. His parents were wealthy, and he had no problem asking them for money. In the three years we were together, he bought me a gift for every Valentine's Day, and Christmas, and birthday. I never tried to take his parents' wealth for granted, but it was hard, especially when he insisted that he pay.

"I can't remember when I realized that I was in love with him. We spent most of our free time together, occasionally with a few friends, but mostly by ourselves. Physically, Peter and I were slow. He didn't kiss me until our fourth date, and it had been a whole year before I gave my virginity to him.

"We talked about getting married, and having kids. Peter wanted to be a lawyer and often talked about the things he would buy me. I wanted to be an artist, going through three or four sketch books a month.

"I couldn't tell you what happened between us. One moment, it was beautiful, and romantic. We were the envy of every couple at school. The next moment, he wouldn't speak to me, or return my calls. At times, it seemed as though it hurt him to touch me.

"When Peter broke up with me, it was the most terrifying moment of my whole life. At first I didn't believe it, but it didn't take me long to realize that he was completely serious. I tried so hard to hold my chin up and be brave, but I had grown so emotionally dependent on him that it was almost like he had literally ripped my heart from my chest. I couldn't support myself, and ended up staying in bed for days at a time.

"My friends and I had grown apart about two years after I started dating Peter. They told me that I spent too much time with him and it grossed them out. So, when I couldn't get out of bed, a few of them tried to help me out, to get my mind off of him. Nothing worked, and they all abandoned me."

I looked at Jacob, and sighed.

"I guess I can't make friends because I'm scared." My voice cracked.

Jacob let out a soft sigh, and pondered for a moment. "I don't know what to say," he whispered.

I sat up. "You don't have to say anything. It's a pathetic story, and -"

"It's not. It's just, I sort of know what it feels like. Except I don't." Jacob stood up, and reached his hand down to me. I accepted it, and he helped me up. "I knew this girl - well, I know her. I was in love with her, and she knew it, but she consistently hurt me."

"How could anyone hurt you? I was beginning to think that you had a heart of steel." I shivered again, my skin breaking into goosebumps.

"You'd be surprised." I watched him slide his jacket off, and he placed it on my shoulders. I was taken aback by the warmth of it, and the smell. Jacob had a musky smell, but it was very appealing. "Don't worry," he said. "I won't get cold."

"Thanks."

"This girl, Bella, she had a boyfriend. Edward. I absolutely hated him, because he left her, and she has a similar story as you. I don't know what brought her back to life, but one day she showed up at my house with two motorcycles and.. I don't know. Edward ruined her, and then when he gets himself in trouble, she runs to save him, and they get back together, and I couldn't take it anymore."

I frowned, and touched his hand. Alarmed by the warmth of his skin, I gasped. "Are you okay, Jake? You feel hot."

"Heh, yeah. That's exactly why I said I wouldn't get cold." He wrapped his hand around mine, enveloping it. "They moved up to Alaska, and quite frankly, I don't want to see them ever again."

"Yeah," I said, my voice low and soft. "Jake -"

"Sarah, don't worry about it. I'll be here for you."

My stomach twisted, and my throat closed. I stopped, and he quickly did too. Looking at me, he raised his eyebrow. My eyes watered, and I gasped a few times before completely breaking down. I hadn't cried since moving here, and the release was relieving. Jacob wrapped his long, strong arms around me and held me against him. The crying was almost painful, but I kept at it. Jacob whispered reassurance into my ear, smoothing my hair, brushing it out of my face. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be held like this.

I sniffled, and wiped my cheeks with the huge sleeve of Jacob's jacket, but refused to let go of him. "Thank you," I whispered, lifting my chin to look at him. "Thank you so much, Jake."

He gave a small smile, and I let my head fall on his chest again. We stood there for a few more moments before he said, "we need to get back now. My dad's probably looking for me."

I reluctantly lifted my head and sniffled again. "I - um, can I see you tomorrow night?"

He stared at me, and a smile crept onto his face. "I'll have to check my schedule. After all, I'm insanely busy this week, and I don't know if I could fit that in." The sarcasm oozed from his voice, and he laughed quietly when he saw me stick out my bottom lip. "Yes, I'd love that."

For the first time in a long ass time, my heart rate steadily grew. "You shouldn't joke with me like that, Jake. I take things way too seriously now-a-days."