Control Yourself

For what felt like days, Shae chewed on the idea of loving Forrest. Not just being attracted to him, or liking him, or sleeping with him, but loving him. She thought she loved him; without a doubt in her mind, she knew she could love him.

What was it that was making it so difficult for her to just say ‘I love him’?

Nor Forrest or Shae brought up the issue again after that.

Forrest didn’t even act like anything had changed. Deep down, however, Shae felt horrible and ashamed for not being able to tell the most amazing guy – so far in her life – how much she cared for him.

Her next appointment with Mr. Berkley came sooner than she had expected. Forrest drove her to the studio and bid her ‘good luck’ as well as ‘good bye’ with a smooth kiss. His lips were soft against her own as they collided, leaving Shae with a dreamy, cloud-nine sort of smile on her face upon entering the studio yet again. She was surprised as she slipped through the front door of the building to see Mr. Berkley already waiting for her, a wide smile on his face.

Shae returned the smile half-heartedly, suddenly anxious and uncomfortable.

“Hello, Ms. Dawson,” He greeted, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “So nice to see you again.”

“You too,” She replied softly, clutching the straps of her tote bag on her shoulder.

“We’ve got an exciting set today; Ford helped set it up,” Mr. Berkley said, motioning for Shae to follow him with his hand, setting off down the hallway. Shae gulped and followed obediently, struggling to catch up with his long strides at first.

“What do you mean by exciting?” Shae asked curiously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Mr. Berkley simply chuckled.

“They arranged for True Religion to take a few shots of you for their new line,” He beamed, glancing back over his shoulder at her, winking. Shae hesitated.

“True Religion as in the huge clothing company?” Shae squeaked, feeling more bashful than confident at this point. Upon entering the studio, Shae noticed the multiple cameras set up around the backdrop, not to mention all the people walking around, discussing lighting, a few people holding up clothes, choosing outfits for the set.

Shae was overwhelmed.

A woman with brunette curls and a bright smile, as well as a man with shaggy, dirty blond hair and piercing blue eyes walked over, both shaking Mr. Berkley’s hand.

“So, this is the pretty face of the new line?” The man looked over at Shae, analyzing her up and down with his stunning eyes. Shae gulped.

“She’s perfect,” The woman gushed, stroking her hand loosely through Shae’s waves. Shae was completely dumbfounded.

“Shae’s the best we’ve got her in Vegas,” Mr. Berkley said, slinging an arm around her neck, squeezing her shoulder. “She’s gorgeous, and has a perfect body.”

“Wonderful!” The woman gushed, offering Shae her hand. “Let’s get you in clothes and out on set, right away.”

Shae nodded, accepting the woman’s hand, allowing her to drag her through crowded studio towards a small cluster of people picking and choosing outfits. She grabbed the outfit labeled ‘5’ that consisted of a pair of short, white shorts with frayed ends, a chunky, brown embroidered belt looped through the belt loops, as well as a brownish, paisley string bikini top and a dark brownish, grey over shirt with button down sleeves. The woman also handed her a chunky, brown bracelet with similar embellishments as the belt. Shae sighed, smiling lightly before headed off into the changing station, tearing off her yoga pants and plum tank top hurriedly.

She stepped out from behind the curtain, just to have a swarm of people rush at her with brushes, make-up and hair products. Shae was unnerved, nonetheless. Lights were in her face, comparing which lighting best suited her face and make-up. Her hair was being tugged at and toyed with while the man, who was applying her mascara, accidentally stepped on her bare foot.

Shae was well aware that photo shoots weren’t like this, but Mr. Berkley was a man that strongly believed time was money. The more time spent doing her make-up and hair, the more money he had to put out. Soon enough, the crowd backed away from her, the brunette woman from before emerging through the artists like a savior, pulling Shae after her back towards the backdrop. Shae sighed, feeling skeptic of the several cameras now in her face as she stood there awkwardly.

"Don't be shy, Shae," Mr. Berkley encouraged her. Shae pinched her eyes shut tightly, telling herself to just imagine Forrest was behind the camera, and she was standing at the end of the bed, posing exaggeratedly and confidently. It was all for fun.

Shae's character seemed to click 'on' and her poses came quicker than the photographers could click. The flashes practically blinded her, but that didn't stop Shae from knocking them dead. After a moment she was dragged off back to wardrobe for a new outfit.

Several outfits later, Shae was leaning against the front of the studio, hidden behind her over-sized sunglasses waiting for Forrest to pick her up. She practically poured herself into the passenger's seat, grunting as she slammed the door after her. Forrest chuckled.

"Long day?"

Shae groaned.

"I feel so violated," She mumbled under her breath.

"That's show biz, baby," He chuckled, backing his truck out of the parking lot. Shae folded her arms across her chest, deep down worrying that she wouldn't have much time left with Forrest - worrying more so about missing his fight! She knew Forrest would accept her not being there due to the circumstances, but Shae couldn't live with the feeling of disappointing Forrest in the slightest. She wanted to be there for him on his big night; she wanted to be a good girlfriend, there to support her man no matter what.

"Shae!" Forrest shouted. Shae jerked.

"What?" She snapped, her head turning in his direction.

"I've been calling your name for the past five minutes," He chuckled. "I wanted to know if you wanted to grab something for lunch."

Shae grunted.

"Yes, please - anything fattening," She mumbled. Forrest simply chuckled again, reaching over, gently taking her hand in his all the while keeping his eyes on the road. Shae glimpsed over at him through her dark lenses, her eyes tracing his jaw, his neck, admiring his masculine features yet his eyes that seemed to go on forever. It clicked into Shae, right then and there, just how lucky she was.

Shae gave Forrest's hand a gentle squeeze, sighing as she rested her head against the window, letting her eyes close lightly.