Once a Fragile Design

I didn’t mind kissing Kennedy or acting that way towards him, I guess I was just trying to mask my feelings for John. Everything he and Acey did angered me during Denny’s and now that they’re watching a movie and I’m packing didn’t help either. I could hear her giggle at random times through my opened door made me start throwing clothing into the bag. Why can’t I just fucking tell Acey how I feel about John? My God, I’m going to kill myself with anger if I don’t do it soon. I sighed in frustration before taking all of the thrown articles of clothing out of the bag to fold them and put them back in. After I put my clothing in the bag and closed it, I got all my hair products and make-up into another back with a few essentials. After that I didn’t know what to bring, I’ve never been on tour before but I couldn’t ask Acey or John—they’re too busy. So I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and texted Kennedy.

I don’t know what I need to pack.

I decided I heard enough giggling, so I closed my bedroom door and pressed play on my iHome and immediately heard Sublime and I had to laugh. I remembered the time Acey and I sat in my room and sang this, it was before this John thing started to really get to me. Its ridiculous but I can’t help it; maybe Kennedy will just make it better. I felt my phone vibrate and a smile instantly played on my lips as I held the phone towards my face.

Well do you at least have warm clothing?

I couldn’t help but laugh, of course I had warm clothing it is gonna be cool on the east coast. The song switched to You Do, You Don’t by the Friday Night Boys and my heart began to flutter when I sent the text to Kennedy.

Of course! I mean like, besides the normal, do I really need anything?

I listened to the nice voice of Andrew Goldstein, the song was so beautiful in its self but the lyrics felt more in effect right now. “I bet you’re so sick of hearing it, you don’t really want to you don’t really want to,” I sang along as my phone vibrated again.

Hm, I don’t know. If you forget anything I’ll make sure you’ll get what ever you’re missing :)

Honestly, I couldn’t help but allow a large smile to spread across my face. Kennedy is so sweet and cute and so much better than John. I don’t know why I hang myself up over John so much; it’s obvious he likes Acey and not me.

Do you think you come over and keep me company? Acey and John are annoying me as they watch this movie.

My heart pounded as I impatiently waited for Kennedy to write back. I felt so many emotions at once I couldn’t sit still, with my phone in hand I walked out of my room and towards the kitchen. Acey sat next to John, his arms around her tightly as she leaned against his chest. I could tell she was sleeping as John watched the rest of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I stared at the screen before looking at John and Acey again, I couldn’t even tear my eyes away from that.

“Sh, she fell asleep as soon as Prisoner was over but I really wanted to watch this,” John told me quietly with a smile on his face. I can see the admiration in his eyes when he spoke about her. Why can’t he talk about me like that? I felt my heart pound a little bit with pain but I shook it off. I nodded at John before walking through the living room, through the kitchen and out the sliding glass doors that lead to the porch. I made sure I took a cigarette and lighter from the table, I sat down on one of the chairs lighting up my cigarette. I felt my phone vibrate, my smile came back when I read it was from Kennedy.

I thought you were never going to ask! Ha, I’ll be right over.

I’ll be out back.

Words couldn’t even explain how excited I was. I was gonna make sure Kennedy kept John out of my mind and hopefully for a long while. It wasn’t long until Kennedy was walking through the gate guarding off our back porch, he walked around the pool and up the wooden porch steps. I smiled at him before putting my cigarette out in the ashtray on the table next to me. Kennedy sat down on my lap, put his arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek softly.

“So what do you want to do as they watch a movie?” He asked, I shrugged softly pushing him off of me so I could stand.

“Acey’s actually sleeping, she never really liked Goblet of Fire.” Kennedy laughed, knowing the statement was true but I felt nerves hit me when he grabbed my hand.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go see something with me.” Kennedy asked with a smile on his face, I nodded my head as if to say yes and Kennedy took me by the hand through the yard and out the gate. He opened the passenger’s side door for me, allowed me to sit in the seat before closing the door and walking over to his side. He’s so sweet. He got in on his side, started the car and began driving. About five minutes of driving we found ourselves at a park, Kennedy opened the door for me before getting his guitar from the back seat. Kennedy led me up a hill, we sat down at the top and he turned to me with the guitar on his lap. “I’m pretty sure John’s done this so many times for Acey but—I don’t know, I want to do this with you.” I mentally awed his adorable way with words as he smiled towards me before playing. I knew the song as I Must Be Dreaming and I couldn’t help but smile.

By the end of Kennedy singing, I felt tears come to my eyes and a select few fall down my cheeks. Kennedy put his guitar aside, moved closer to me and with his thumbs wiped way the tears. “Don’t cry, did I make you upset? I’m sorry if I did, I just—I always wanted to sing that to you. Sometimes I wish I wrote it for you instead of John writing it for Acey who doesn’t even like him.”

“You didn’t upset me, I’m just really flattered Kennedy. You’re too sweet,” I smiled causing him to smile before his lips softly pressed against mine. His kisses, I could honestly get used to. We kissed a few more times before leaving the park and heading back to Acey and my house. We walked in, Acey and John both away sitting on the couch normally. I took Kennedy by the hand taking him quickly through the living room to get to my room. I felt Kennedy turn a bit to wave to John and Acey, I turned back too just to see Acey’s face. I couldn’t put the emotion on it but I could tell she wasn’t very happy. I wonder what John did.