Once a Fragile Design

"You okay?" John whispered in my ear.

I looked at him and saw nothing but genuine concern in his eyes, which made me immediately feel horrible. But, I couldn't help who I loved, could I?

"Yeah, John. I'm fine." I forced a smile onto my face, and luckily, he returned one to me and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"What do you think Kennedy and Roxii are doing upstairs?" he asked.

I almost rolled my eyes, almost, but it took all the strength I had to keep myself from doing it. "I don't know."

He smirked. "Maybe doing the dirty?" He laughed and wriggled his eyebrows.

Even though the thought of that irritated me, I couldn't help but to laugh at John's face. "Whatever. Let's do something."

His jaw slacked open a bit. "Really?"

I slapped his chest playfully and rolled my eyes. "Not like that, you dumbass. I mean, something besides watching Harry Potter."

"Oh." His eyes flickered to the TV screen and then back to me. "Well, what do you want to do?"

I shrugged. "Go for a walk?"

He smiled. "I'd love too."

I laughed and stood up, as did he. I walked over to the door and slipped my feet into my Vans and waited as John put his shoes on.

"Rox!" I yelled.

She poked her head out of her room. Her hair was everywhere and she looked out of breath. I felt jealousy and anger rise inside of me. Were her and Kenny really fooling around upstairs, while knowing I was right downstairs? Calm down, Acey. It's not like they know.

I let out a soft sigh. "John and I are going out for a walk."

She nodded her head quickly and mumbled an, "Okay," before going back into her room and shutting the door.

I grabbed John's hand and pulled him out of the house. I couldn't stand to be within the same vicinity as Roxii and Kennedy for another second.

"Woah, babe! I barely got my left shoe on!"

I rolled my eyes and stopped on the sidewalk. "Goodness, O'Callaghan; hurry the fuck up!"

He laughed and quickly tied his shoelaces before grabbing my hand. "Alright. I'm ready."

We began walking and I felt the anger slowly leaving my body. After all, there was no way in hell I could stay mad at Roxii, for something she had no idea about. If anything, I should be angry at myself, for not mustering up the courage to tell Kennedy the truth. Or, maybe, I should be pissed off at Kennedy for not noticing the way I looked at him.

"Acey?"

I looked at John. "Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," I lied.

He chuckled. "Don't lie. I can tell by the concentrated look on your face, that you're thinking of something. Something important. What is it?"

I shrugged. "It's complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"You just wouldn't understand."

We walked a few more paces, before he stopped. "Why wouldn't I understand?"

I stared at the trees behind him, avoiding gazing into his eyes. Those damn eyes always made me feel guilty. "Because . . . you're a guy."

He laughed. "What're you trying to say?"

I smiled softly. "Guys don't get this sort of thing. It's something I'll have to talk to Roxii about." Yeah. Talking to her about my problem, was the last thing I needed.

He nodded his head. "Fine. But promise me you'll talk to her about it."

I smiled. "I promise."

"Good."

After a few more minutes of walking, we came to the abandoned house down the street. It's been abandoned for a good five years, but the city has yet to tear it down. Mainly, a lot of high schoolers use the house to smoke or party in. I walked into the backyard, with the grass nearly reaching my calves, and took a seat on the swing that sat on the deck. John sat beside me and we swung back and forth slowly.

"I wonder when they're gunna tear this house down."

I shrugged. "Who knows."

He ran his thumb over the back of my hand and stared at me. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course." Even if I didn't love John in that way, the romantic way, we were still friends and I wanted him to feel like he could tell me anything; because he could. Whether or not I always wanted to hear what came out of his mouth, was a whole other story.

"You know that I like you . . ."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I do."

He gave me a small smile; almost a nervous smile. "And, you sort of, kind of, maybe like me, too, right?"

I laughed. "Sure. Something like that." Lies, lies, lies. Once you start, you can't stop.

He fully tuned his body in my direction and his green eyes gazed into my own, and his mouth pulled back into his full 100 watt smile. "So . . . I know you're probably going to say no, but I just have to try, being that tour is starting tomorrow and it would be an amazing way to it kick off; w - will you be mine?" His face went semi-pale and I felt sort of bad for him. He was so nervous and being so sincere to me.

I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. If I said no, I'd crush his beautiful, little heart into pieces and I couldn't stand the thought of that. However, if I said yes, I'd be fooling him into thinking I really liked him, and quite possibly, our friendship would be ruined in the long run, because of my secret. My mind wandered back to Roxii's messy hair and panting breath and the same anger that hit me then, coursed through my body now. If her and Kennedy weren't going to hide their relationship, I guess I could give John a shot. At least he was interested in me.

"Yeah. I will." I gave him a smile and he pulled me into his arms.

"You won't regret this, baby. I promise."

I only laughed. Because deep down, I knew I would.