Gynophobia.

At lunch time when I went to the nurses office I saw that Dayton wasn't in. Nobody was in. I took my normal seat and just waited. When he walked in he wasn't really paying attention. He was looking over some papers and muttering to himself. He sat at his desk for a while and started to write things on the paper. When he looked satisfied he smiled to himself and finally noticed me.

"Oh Nathan, didn't even notice you there! I was just going over my taxes. You really cannot start too-" He said before I cut him off. I already knew he could talk for hours on end. Also if I didn't talk now I wasn't going to talk ever.

"Mr.Dayton. Can you finish explaining what you were talking about before? I don't really understand it still. Or at least can I use your computer to find out. Taylor won't let me." I said holding my hands on my knees looking down as I talked to him. I couldn't look him in the face when I looked at him. It was just weird.

"I could get in trouble from the school if I tell you." He said. I nodded my head and was about to get up.

"Well at least right now. After school come to my car it's in the same spot. We will talk then." He said with a smile. I smiled a bit back and he started to finish his talk about taxes. Taylor came in and asked if I had said anything. Dayton lied and Taylor seemed like he didn't believe it but didn't ask anymore questions about it.

When the end of school came around I told Taylor I had to stay after school for a bit and to go ahead of me. He accepted that answer and headed home. I went to the car and waited for Dayton. When he got to the car I got in once he opened the door. He smiled and said he was taking me to get a cup of tea.

He brought me to this small cafe place. He told me he would get us a drink and I sat down at a table. When he came back I took the cup of tea. He sat opposite of me and I waited until he was settled.

"So what exactly don't you understand?" He asked. I took a sip of the tea and tried to think of a short answer.

"How same sexes do it." I said and took another sip. He nodded his head and did the same.

"Woman used 'toys' or their own hands and other parts of the body. Men are similar but woman have to use substitution if they want something similar to what a man has which is where the toy does come in." He said. I tilted my head a little and traced my fingers along the cups edge.

"Some toys are rubbed penis molds. A vibrator and various other things." He went on.

"What about men? They can do it orally. But you said they can do it like a woman and man together." I said to him. He nodded his head and opened a little paper bag pulling out a chocolate chip cookie. He handed one to me and I kept it in my hand.

"Instead of inserting yourself into the woman's vagina, it's inserted into the anus of the man." My eyes turned into dinner plates. I couldn't fathom that. How would it fit in there? If I had tried to fit myself in a man like he said he would be hurt for a rather long time.

"I think this is why Taylor didn't want me to tell you." He said with a small smile.

"Back to women." I said after a long pause.

"Woman can be satisfied without using men, correct." I said in a low voice.

"Correct and most times they satisfy themselves." I sat there for a while just processing everything.

Woman can be satisfied without men. Thinking about that aspect of it just made me sick. Almost literally. My mother had just been using me for years when she could have done something else about her needs. I felt the anger bubbling in me and I just wanted to hit something. Hurt someone. Hurt her.

I crushed the cookie in my hand instead hoping to calm my anger.

"What is the matter?" He said looking at me carefully. I shook my head and started to eat some of the broken cookie. When he drove me back to the house I thanked him and went inside immediately. I saw that they were setting up for dinner and I sat my bag down and headed upstairs.

"Nathan?" I heard Taylor call after me and I ignored him. I wished that this was my room. So I could just break everything, I wouldn't even care if I winded up hurting myself. I looked down and saw my pillow lounging on the ground. I grabbed pillow and screamed my frustrations into it. I heard the thumps up the stairs coming quickly.

"Are you alright?" Taylor said moving the pillow from my face. I grabbed the pillow back and just held it in my arms and plopped on his bed.

"No. I don't want to talk about it." I said putting my face back in the pillow. I didn't scream into it but I didn't relax exactly either. I could tell he was standing there for a while before leaving. I showered then took my stuff into the room next door and shut the door. The bed was bigger then Taylors bed and the room was very organized.

I climbed into the bed and brought the covers over my head hoping to slip into a never ending good dream.