Rebel Yell

The night was coming to a close, the sun had long gone and the breeze of a new day was blowing through the branches of leafless trees. The air was cold and yet there was warmness to the small little house on the corner of Craven Avenue.

There were only two people who stood outside, holding tight to their coats as they passed a cigarette back and forth, blowing the smoke into the night’s chilly area and chatting about the party inside.

It was Tim’s seasonal party inside, so as normal everyone on the underground scene was there. Friends all sharing their love for their east bay punk rock, danced inside, alcohol pouring from the kegs into their tiny cups, quenching their endless thirst.

Sofa’s were scattered throughout the living room, filled with people who had gotten to the stage of drunkenness that made the coordination of their legs no longer work. Except for one couple who sat, admiring their surroundings and laughing at their inside jokes. Some people would come over and talk to them both, acknowledging the growing baby inside of the lady. Tre Cool sat smiling proudly over his girlfriends baby bump , the baby which he hoped one day would call him dad. He had always wanted a kid, someone who would enjoy some of his mentality with. Debbie on the other hand was unconditionally smitten by the man who sat next to her, holding her around her shoulders and acting so proud to just be with her. Who would have guessed that the crazy drummer she had met whilst she set up his drum kit, would be the guy she came out with. Sure they were taking it easy, after all Marci had just put a deposit on a nice suburban home in a nice neighbourhood where a child could play out in their front yard.

A glass shatters again in the corner of the room and an echo of ‘whey’s’ surrounds it before the uncontrolled giggles erupted again. The tape on the music player suddenly jolted to a halt before somebody from the other room, quickly hurried in a drunken state to change the tape around.
Two people who didn’t stop their mad dancing as they danced to their own rhythm were Mike and Adeline. They held a half empty bottle of beer in their hands loosely as they moved in synchronisation of one another. Adeline’s hair hung in her face as she was near enough ready to collapse onto Mike from the pure tiredness she had, whilst Mike was more concerned in wondering where his best friend had gotten too.

He knew that he’d be somewhere in this house but how he was holding up was another matter. Was he drunk, was he happy, was he sad or was he just recoiling into anger that his best friend had dragged him here. It was no lie that Billie was a lingering topic by all the people there, everyone now knew about the former Gilman legend being a little bit promiscuous and it wasn’t easy getting by without hearing it several times.

Billie had found himself dodging people and dodging words, something which he wasn’t used to doing but it was the only way of surviving tonight. He couldn’t believe that Mike had convinced him to come here tonight, when only two hours previous to coming, he was still flat out on the bathroom floor. Adeline had worked her magic touch though, she had bollocked him stupid till he got himself dressed.

He hadn’t though bothered about shaving and he could tell that choosing not to shower for the past ten days was making him smell more like a garbage truck rather than a bed of roses. He didn’t care though, he didn’t care about anyone anymore let alone himself, why should he, after all if he was destined to fuck everything up in his life, why build up the perception of being this happy go lucky person.

He grabbed his third beer and decided to go sit the rest of his time upstairs, away from everyone else. It was quite up the stairs and only a few people look destined to find a room to collapse in, they circled the upstairs area like lost sheep and Billie had to push through many of them. The floor was sticky from the spilt beer that had been spilt many times before and as Billie eyed up each room, he only found one room where the door wasn’t already locked.

‘Thank God’ he sighed to himself as he pushed the door open, feeling the slight memory of his time in that room hit him sharply in the stomach, making him burp as he shut the door behind, letting the darkness of the room comfort him and his headache.

The room looked no different from how it was the last time he was in it, just the added clutter pushed into it made any difference. The old dusty bed sheets still covered many of the strange objects and the mattress, which was once the focus of the room, was no longer there, just added boxes with the words ‘hellcat’ wrote across the side of them. Yet another storage place for old Operation Ivy stuff and for abandoned Rancid ideas, he thought as he placed his beer on top of an old brown chestier draw.

Billie let himself wonder towards the window and stare out onto the lines of street that stretched far into Berkley and he sighed, recoiling back into his withdrawn state of mind. Lights highlighted all the different buildings stretching as far as he could see and the bright yellow lights of the freeway ran like a gold river into Oakland. That, he assumed, was where Marci was sitting, alone and he let a tear fall onto his cheek, how he missed her. He really wanted her to be here tonight, he wouldn’t know what to do if he saw her but when Billie saw Debbie he looked endlessly for Marci.

Billie walked back to where he had placed his beer and scanned the wreck of the room, he peered into the nearest box to see a bunch of old cables, most probably those from broken amps that Tim had destroyed during his gigs. But Billie’s eyes shot up at a strange noise that came from the other side of the boxes he was looking in. It sounded peculiar, as if it was somebody sniffing and he listened in again. Billie placed his beer once again back down and he crept around back towards the window.

Marci really didn’t want to be at this party and yet somehow she had made it here, like she had done with that stupid water aerobics. She had managed to creep into that old room she had been in before, that room which introduced her for first time to Billie Joe. She hadn’t noticed that somebody had entered the room as she sat in silence, swigging on a beer behind a collection of large boxes. She only noticed that somebody else must have been in there as well, when she lost the battle with the dust and sneezed loudly, causing whoever else was in that room to spill a bottle on the floor.

She froze in position as Billie wondered around the corner, his suspicions being confirmed by the sneeze.

“hello?” Billie asked quietly, peering to where he could see a small figure’s back as it sat behind the box, motionless. Marci squeezed her eyes closed hoping that whoever it was would disappear in a moment. “are you okay there?” Billie added softly and her eyebrows knotted at the voice. It sounded so familiar and yet it wasn’t clear enough to identify, it was like when a record had been scratched on a record player and although you could tell the song, the voices weren’t clear enough.

“Yeah” she answered casually, as the person carried on interrogating her. She didn’t know why he hadn’t gone yet, the last guy did within seconds of realising his cup needed refilling.
Billie, however carefully approached the girl, although her tone didn’t sound to please to have him there.

“What are you doing up here?” he asked, finding a spot to sit, which faced her back and he pushed his shaggy hair backwards.

“What are you doing up here?” she repeated and he chuckled. Whatever the reason he told her it would probably sound stupid and so he just shrugged his shoulders, even though she couldn’t see him.

The air went quiet once again and just the heavy breathing of Billie and Marci could be heard. She knew he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon and she considered if making a move out of the room would ease her nerves but the comfort of talking to a complete stranger seemed to comfort her for a little while.

She played with her watch as she listened to his breathing, it reminded her so much of when she used to listen to Billie fall asleep next to her and she’d be laid in the dark waiting for that wake up alarm. The strap on the watch was loose around her wrist as she twiddled it around and round, seeing if she could make it go faster. That was up until it flung off towards the stranger, the buckle on the strap finally giving away and sending it away.

Shit, she thought, wondering what the hell she was going to do to get her watch back without making eye contact with the guy. Billie found this highly amusing and stifled a laugh, something which he hadn’t done in a while as he watched the watch bounce towards his foot.

Should he pick the watch up and return it to her, he thought as he saw the person who had lost the watch become irritated at themselves. He chuckled again as he bent forward to pick the watch up, it was the least he could do and he brushed off the little bit of dust that it had collected.
It was a simple blue neon watch with the black numbering of the seconds around the edge, wearing off. Billie smiled at it, it looked just like Marci’s, even with the nonexistent back for it was uncanny to the one Marci had. He rubbed the watch front with his thumbs remembering her once again, even the larger hand of the clock looked so similar to Marci’s, how it ticked funnily and had a bent angle to it, she had complained about it so many times to him.

He smiled at it before getting a blow to the stomach once again and his breath hitched in his throat. Maybe this was Marci’s, maybe that girl is her, he thought as his eyes searched as hard as they could, to pick out any detail that was hers.

Marci on the other hand considered forgetting the watch and getting out of there pronto, after all his breath had become irregular and he laughed very randomly every now and again. She wondered when Debbie would be leaving and hoped that she’d come and get her before she became captive by this drunken stranger.

Billie’s hand shook as he looked back and forth from the watch to the person, who he now really hoped would be Marci. He rocked forward as he battled in his mind whether or not to say something. Would it really hurt, he thought, if it isn’t her then she can run off and never see me again but if it was her….his mind did another lap of the pro’s and con’s.

Marci lifted herself up slowly onto her knees, getting ready to make a break back into the house to find Debbie and go home. She could feel the floorboards beneath her creek with every movement and she cursed her ‘snitch’ for ratting her out. She held her breath as best as she could, as she began to slowly crawl around towards where the light shun under the door.
Billie could feel his opportunity to ask, slowly crawl away and he tired to string a sentence together in his head before the girl left. But he could see her hand already touch the door handle and his instincts was to just shout her name, it was now or never for him.

“Marci!” his mouth dryly shouted and her hand fell from the door and onto the dusty floor beneath her. Had somebody really just shouted that or had she gone completely mad, she thought but decided to stay quietly put. “Marci?” the person asked again and he hands shook at the sudden realisation of the person behind her.

What was she to do now, oh how she wanted to see him again, to hug him and look at him and have everything return back to normal and yet there was something in her stopping her from crawling back.

Billie held his breath in anticipation as he waited for a reply but his curiosity got the better of him and he stalked quietly back around to see the girl frozen on her hands and knees looking perplexed. “Marci, is that you?” he asked, his voice filling with emotions as he strung his first question together. He could feel his tears well up inside his eyes, making his vision blurred as the girl turned her head ever so slightly to the side.

Marci needn’t anymore proof that it was Billie, she had a gut feeling it was him and she steadily stood up, brushing her jeans off and looking towards him under her fringe. Her heart picked up a beat as she stared at him shakily.

“Billie?” she unnecessarily asked and he let out a whim, as his tears poured down his cheek, matching those which were starting to form on Marci.

“Oh God, I’ve missed you” he spoke in-between sobs and she nodded in agreement, he lifted his hand out but quickly retracted it, unable to decide what the next action would be. “I’m so sorry for what she wrote but you have to believe me that I didn’t-“ he began to apologise before she had time to run away from him or yell at him further.

“I know that you didn’t” she spat out the words so quick, that it took them both by surprise, Marci holding onto her bottom jaw as it wobbled uncontrollable from the tears.”I know you…you might have but…..it doesn’t matter, I love you” she clasped her hand around her own mouth, wondering where on earth these words were coming from but not once did she disagree. It was just pure Marci wanting him back, no matter how much grovelling was included.

Billie carefully walked up to her, grabbing her face in his hand and resting his forehead on hers, how he wished this wasn’t just a fictitious dream that his brain was playing so cunningly against him.

He could feel the warmth radiate of her skin and he sniffed up a little from the tears, pushing back her hair to look at her bloodshot eyes. “I’m so sorry, it shouldn’t have ever been an issue” he apologised again, kissing the top of her forehead and she smiled, grabbing the rough stubble on his face and feeling the wetness on his cheek.

“Look at us” she spoke; grabbing his other hand in her own, “we are a mess” she chuckled, as her heart rate carried on its rapid speed.

“I don’t care, I love you Marci” he kissed her forehead again, as he brought her close to his chest “and I never cheated with Cheri, although I did go out for dinner with her but that was that Marci and I paid for it by thinking I had lost you for forever” Billie removed his hands from Marci’s face and hand and grabbed her around the back, pulling her tightly against him, letting her head fall onto his chest.

“you idiot” she jokily added, letting her hands fall around Billie’s neck, her hands still shaking from this quickly passed moment. How had she gone from feeling sorry for herself moments ago to now being in the one place she had hoped for all evening?

“I am an idiot, a big idiot and it will never ever happen again” his words were stern as he kissed her cheek again, never once letting his grip loosen around her, “and even though you’ll be on the road with other bands, I promise you-“He began to pledge his faithfulness to Marci before he was stopped dead by Marci pulling away, her eyes diverting to the floor.

“I couldn’t do that” she said quietly and Billie looked at her concerned,

“of course you can, I don’t want anyone else whilst I ha-“ He began to protest back and she held her hands up, stopping him from diverting the topic,

“I meant that, I can’t do that, I can’t go on tour with another band and so I quit my job, I couldn’t do with it anymore and plus-“ she looked up to Billie, whose eyes were wide with surprise, “I’d miss you lot too much” she chuckled as Billie pushed her hair out of her way. He looked at her blue eyes and how he remember the first time he saw them, in this room and he bent in close, closing the gap and kissing her with enough force that he had to support her.

He was given a second chance and he wasn’t ever going to blow it, he was so lucky and Marci felt the exact same way. She was so happy that Debbie had brought her here tonight because who’d have know when she’d have seen Billie again.

They were just two people, on a Saturday night in downtown Pinole both brought together by chance….