Unitl I Break
Chapter 54: Hear the sounds
“you don’t mean that” Seville said shyly
“yes I do”
“no you don’t, besides I love you but I don’t want to marry you because we are going to parents..”
“neither do I. I want to marry you because I love you.”
“liar.”
“no I want this.”
“how about you ask me again, later.”
“is that a no?” Gerard asked playfully.
“Its not a no or even a maybe, but you’ll just have to ask again later to find out.” Seville said beaming.
“I love you Seville Marie James.”
“I love you Gerard Arthur Way.”
“I'm gonna go let the doctors in now, I'm sure they want to see you for a few with your obnoxious smelly fiancée around.”
“fiancée?”
“yeah.” Geard said standing up.
“no, Gee wait, I have something else to tell you.”
“oh yeah,the bad news…. Candace isn’t trying to kill me for knocking you up?”
“you’re the only one I told, so no..”
“can I tell the guys”
“baby you can tell the world, but I gotta tell you something first…”
“right right right what is it sugar.”
“well, Gee honey, I , the doctors , they found cancer, I’m dying Gerard.”
He sat shocked.
“It’s leukemia…. And I have a chance if I start right away on chemo and that sort of thing but, the babies… I can’t do chemo if I'm pregnant…so we have to decide, you have to decide, should I just wait it out and hope for a miracle, that it doesn’t spread too fast and even then the babies have a chance for contraction, or do we just not worry about the babies and start now, with treatment. I'm sorry to bring this burden on you I didn’t have any intention of making things any harder I just I ….I don’t know what to do.”
“Cancer?
”yeah… and I guessIshouldn’thaveeventoldyoubecauseIreallycan’tseehowIcanhavethebabiesbutIthoughtIshouldbecauseIwantedtosharethatwithyouandbutIcan’tleaveyoualonewiththatbaggageifsomethigndoesntworkoutandthenwhatifthey’rebornsickIjustcan’t…I’m so sorry.” If she could cry still she would have been but her tears were all used up.
Gerard stood, frustrated, upset, and bothered, he paced for a moment then walked back over to the hospital bed taking her hand in his.
“you listen to me Seville, you are going to be fine, you are going to start chemo today, as soon as you can because I can’t lose you, and as for these guys,” he said resting his over hand on her stomach, “well I’ve got more where they can from and is sad and tragic but it would be wrong to bring them up without both parents, it would be wrong for them to never know you the way that I do, it would be wrong for them to never feel your love. It would just be wrong, so we do this, we find the best doctors and we do this.”
“no Gerard I have to do this you have to go on tour.”
“like hell, I ll be with you every single day.”
“if you really love me Gerard you will go on tour.”
“I'm gonna go talk with the boys, can I take this?” he said lifting the photo from the bedside table. She nodded.
“ I love you Gerard.” She said as he walked away, he turned can back kissed her gently on the forehead, “ and I love you Seville, more than you’ll ever know.”
Gerard:
I walked out of the room and found the guys waiting with coffee in hand. One look at mikey and God I was ready to break but I didn’t I just wrapped my arms around him.
He made me feel safe again. And I knew that no matter what happened, I know that I would be okay.
But that was really because she was….okay I mean. I mean that she was okay with what was about to happen or not happen. I have no idea how she was at such peace with it but I wasn’t ready to ask.
“dude were so sorry,” ray said consolingly taking his turn at hugging me.
“me too man, me too…” I said
“she’s gonna make it man, she is,” Bob added, “ I mean look at everything she’s been through already (Bob didn’t know shed never told them her history, and that he was of the few to be privy to that information).
“yeah I suppose,” I said going with the flow despite his confusion, but the passing nurse distracted me, “you can go in there now if you want.”
The nurse nodded and thanked me hurrying off to do whatever it was she was doing in the first place.
“dude, what’s that?” ray said pointing to the photo Gerard still held in his hand.
“oh this?” I said looking down at my hands, “its nothing…” I said sticking in my jacket pocket. I’m not sure I'm ready to face that yet, not after deciding that I could be…that I was almost a father…I'm relieved but also kinda sad about it.
The silence thereafter was awkward as I took seat beside them all.
“I proposed to her…. Did you know that? I finally just said what I felt.”
Their jaws dropped.
“WHAT DID SHE SAY?” Frank shouted making the mood that of a much happier tone.
“she told me…well, I'm not sure exactly, I think she said yes… but she said to ask her later she didn’t want to marry me just because I thought I was going to lose her.”
“she is so wise. How is she so level headed… all the time?” I could hear Ray say to Bob while Frank laughed at my expense.
“Gee… wow. I'm so happy? For you, right?”
“thanks Mikes I know what you mean…” I said throwing my around his neck giving him a nouggie.
Suddenly, a doctor I hadn’t even seen go into her room emerged and addressed us.
“excuse me gentlemen,” he said in fun and friendly manner, “ the lady within requests a word.”
When we got in there she was n the telephone. Laughing.
“ahha that’s great Jaison you can kiss my ass too, I think you owe me anyways.. .uhhuh right…right…okay well Ill call you back in a bit Jai, no I will alright bye!” she said hanging the hospital phone back up on the ringer.
How?
How is she smiling?
Weirdo.
Instantly Mikey and Frank broke the silence, in unison jumping on her bed, Frank licking her and them both screaming, “CONGRATULATIONSS!!!!!”
“what on earth are you two talking about?” she asked laughing as Mikey toppled off the bed.
“Mikes you okay babe?” she asked concerned leaning over the edge of her bed.
“IM GOOD!” he said jumping right up , dusting himself off then leaning on me.
I looked at his elbow and then I bit him.
He tastes weird.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IVE GOT RABIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he shouted running around the room like a chicken with his head caught off, until bob grabbed hold of him by the scruff of he neck, “thanks man I needed that.” Mikey said Bob, “but are you sure I don’t have rabies Bob O?”
“call me Bob O again…” he said setting him down
“yes I do”
“no you don’t, besides I love you but I don’t want to marry you because we are going to parents..”
“neither do I. I want to marry you because I love you.”
“liar.”
“no I want this.”
“how about you ask me again, later.”
“is that a no?” Gerard asked playfully.
“Its not a no or even a maybe, but you’ll just have to ask again later to find out.” Seville said beaming.
“I love you Seville Marie James.”
“I love you Gerard Arthur Way.”
“I'm gonna go let the doctors in now, I'm sure they want to see you for a few with your obnoxious smelly fiancée around.”
“fiancée?”
“yeah.” Geard said standing up.
“no, Gee wait, I have something else to tell you.”
“oh yeah,the bad news…. Candace isn’t trying to kill me for knocking you up?”
“you’re the only one I told, so no..”
“can I tell the guys”
“baby you can tell the world, but I gotta tell you something first…”
“right right right what is it sugar.”
“well, Gee honey, I , the doctors , they found cancer, I’m dying Gerard.”
He sat shocked.
“It’s leukemia…. And I have a chance if I start right away on chemo and that sort of thing but, the babies… I can’t do chemo if I'm pregnant…so we have to decide, you have to decide, should I just wait it out and hope for a miracle, that it doesn’t spread too fast and even then the babies have a chance for contraction, or do we just not worry about the babies and start now, with treatment. I'm sorry to bring this burden on you I didn’t have any intention of making things any harder I just I ….I don’t know what to do.”
“Cancer?
”yeah… and I guessIshouldn’thaveeventoldyoubecauseIreallycan’tseehowIcanhavethebabiesbutIthoughtIshouldbecauseIwantedtosharethatwithyouandbutIcan’tleaveyoualonewiththatbaggageifsomethigndoesntworkoutandthenwhatifthey’rebornsickIjustcan’t…I’m so sorry.” If she could cry still she would have been but her tears were all used up.
Gerard stood, frustrated, upset, and bothered, he paced for a moment then walked back over to the hospital bed taking her hand in his.
“you listen to me Seville, you are going to be fine, you are going to start chemo today, as soon as you can because I can’t lose you, and as for these guys,” he said resting his over hand on her stomach, “well I’ve got more where they can from and is sad and tragic but it would be wrong to bring them up without both parents, it would be wrong for them to never know you the way that I do, it would be wrong for them to never feel your love. It would just be wrong, so we do this, we find the best doctors and we do this.”
“no Gerard I have to do this you have to go on tour.”
“like hell, I ll be with you every single day.”
“if you really love me Gerard you will go on tour.”
“I'm gonna go talk with the boys, can I take this?” he said lifting the photo from the bedside table. She nodded.
“ I love you Gerard.” She said as he walked away, he turned can back kissed her gently on the forehead, “ and I love you Seville, more than you’ll ever know.”
Gerard:
I walked out of the room and found the guys waiting with coffee in hand. One look at mikey and God I was ready to break but I didn’t I just wrapped my arms around him.
He made me feel safe again. And I knew that no matter what happened, I know that I would be okay.
But that was really because she was….okay I mean. I mean that she was okay with what was about to happen or not happen. I have no idea how she was at such peace with it but I wasn’t ready to ask.
“dude were so sorry,” ray said consolingly taking his turn at hugging me.
“me too man, me too…” I said
“she’s gonna make it man, she is,” Bob added, “ I mean look at everything she’s been through already (Bob didn’t know shed never told them her history, and that he was of the few to be privy to that information).
“yeah I suppose,” I said going with the flow despite his confusion, but the passing nurse distracted me, “you can go in there now if you want.”
The nurse nodded and thanked me hurrying off to do whatever it was she was doing in the first place.
“dude, what’s that?” ray said pointing to the photo Gerard still held in his hand.
“oh this?” I said looking down at my hands, “its nothing…” I said sticking in my jacket pocket. I’m not sure I'm ready to face that yet, not after deciding that I could be…that I was almost a father…I'm relieved but also kinda sad about it.
The silence thereafter was awkward as I took seat beside them all.
“I proposed to her…. Did you know that? I finally just said what I felt.”
Their jaws dropped.
“WHAT DID SHE SAY?” Frank shouted making the mood that of a much happier tone.
“she told me…well, I'm not sure exactly, I think she said yes… but she said to ask her later she didn’t want to marry me just because I thought I was going to lose her.”
“she is so wise. How is she so level headed… all the time?” I could hear Ray say to Bob while Frank laughed at my expense.
“Gee… wow. I'm so happy? For you, right?”
“thanks Mikes I know what you mean…” I said throwing my around his neck giving him a nouggie.
Suddenly, a doctor I hadn’t even seen go into her room emerged and addressed us.
“excuse me gentlemen,” he said in fun and friendly manner, “ the lady within requests a word.”
When we got in there she was n the telephone. Laughing.
“ahha that’s great Jaison you can kiss my ass too, I think you owe me anyways.. .uhhuh right…right…okay well Ill call you back in a bit Jai, no I will alright bye!” she said hanging the hospital phone back up on the ringer.
How?
How is she smiling?
Weirdo.
Instantly Mikey and Frank broke the silence, in unison jumping on her bed, Frank licking her and them both screaming, “CONGRATULATIONSS!!!!!”
“what on earth are you two talking about?” she asked laughing as Mikey toppled off the bed.
“Mikes you okay babe?” she asked concerned leaning over the edge of her bed.
“IM GOOD!” he said jumping right up , dusting himself off then leaning on me.
I looked at his elbow and then I bit him.
He tastes weird.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IVE GOT RABIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he shouted running around the room like a chicken with his head caught off, until bob grabbed hold of him by the scruff of he neck, “thanks man I needed that.” Mikey said Bob, “but are you sure I don’t have rabies Bob O?”
“call me Bob O again…” he said setting him down