Dead!
I Have To Get Out Of Here
I walked along the aisle of the bus. There was nothing to do anymore around here. I've gotten used to controlling my mind reading power...okay not really, but I'm pretty close! It's frustrating how I can't touch anybody without hearing their thoughts blast into my ears. One time Brendon was thinking about forty things at once and I had to leave the bus because I had pushed Brendon away from me and he hit a wall. Everyone was worried, I told them it was no big deal and I thought something had happened in the venue.
I sat down on Ryan's bed and sighed. He hadn't been buying or doing any drugs lately. Although, the less he does drugs, the more nightmares he has. Sometimes I even have to wake him up because he keeps turning and yelling in his sleep.
"Clarissa, you in here?" I heard Pete calling.
"Yeah." I replied back.
"Where? I can't see you!" He walked into the bunks and searched for me but failed miserably. I giggled.
"You have to find me silly!" He followed my voice and sat down on Ryan's bunk next to me and poked my nose.
"Hey!" I yelled and slapped his hand away playfully. He laughed and lifted me up bridal style. "Put me down!" I protested.
"Nope. You mademe search for you, this is your punishment." He laughed. It wasn't long before we were backstage where everyone was hanging out and playing Guitar Hero.
"I play winner!" I called. Joe had beat Patrick and it was my turn. He put it on Dragonforce and I started to press the colorful buttons. I heard Joe mess up a couple times, but I managed to get a hundred percent. I laughed when he stared blankly at the t.v, realizing I have just beaten him.
After a few hours of hanging out after the show I was sitting between Ryan and Brendon. Everyone was talking and Ryan put an arm around me. I wanted to squeal with delight but he had accidentaly pushed me into Brendon.
"What is Ryan doing? Oh God, he's making the move. I can't believe he like...likes her. He sais maybe even love. She's fifteen and he's twenty! I'm not saying she isn't an ugly girl and no guy would date her. If I were her age I'd probably already be making out with her. But Ryan is twenty years old. That's five years apart. And there's still the fact that she's dead."
I shut my eyes, hearing the words fade away. I had wanted Ryan, but hearing Brendon say those words sent reality full speed at me. We were five years apart and I was fifteen. And...I'm dead.
I got up from the couch and started to run away, tears still already pouring out of her eyes.
"Clarissa!" I heard Brendon and Ryan yell. "Where are you going?!" The called.
"I have to get out of here." I whimpered. I ran out of the venue and into the cool night. I ran straight for the park. I didn't make it too far into the stretch of green grass before I collapsed into a ball of sobs.
How could this happen? I wanted Ryan, but it would never work out. I was dead. And I'm sure that if I ever came back to life he wouldn't want to see me anymore. He would move on and find some Hollywood starlette and marry her and have a good life and move on to make ten more platinum records.
"Clarissa!" I jumped. What if it was Ryan? I didn't want to see him now, if I did I would spill everything to him.
"Clarissa!" I heard the voice again. Releif washed over me like a tidal wave. It was only Brendon.
"I'm over here." I managed to choke out. I became visible and he walked over to me with sad eyes.
"Clarissa, what's wrong?" He asked, dropping on his knees to be at my level. He scooted closer to me and put his arms around me.
"Nothing." Wow, that was a stupid answer.
"So there is just absolutley no reason why you would just run off like that crying?" He asked suspiciously. I guess there was no way out of this. I could trust Brendon...right?
"Brendon, can you keep a secret and promise not to get mad at me?" I asked.
"Of course. There would be no reason for me to be mad at you, and whatever we talk about here I won't ever mention to the guys." He answered. I breathed in and exhaled.
"You know how I have these...powers?" I asked.
"Yeah, what about them?"
"I got a new one about a month ago. I didn't want to tell you guys." I said softly.
"Well, what is it?"
"Um...well...Everytime I touch somebody I can kind of hear their thoughts." I said.
"Huh?" He asked, confused.
"I can read minds."
"And why did you run off?"
"When Ryan wrapped his arm around me, I was pressed into you and I heard what you were thinking."
"How much did you hear?"
"Everything." He sighed and layed down on the grass and looked up at the stars.
"Well this is interesting. Do you like him back?"
"What?" I asked, trying to hide the fact I was nervous.
"Do you like him back?"
"Well, I mean..."
"Ohmygod you do!" He exclaimed, sitting up again and looking at me.
"Brendon, please don't tell! Please! I'm begging you!" I pleaded.
"But why? I mean, if you both like eachother why not try to make it work?"
"How do you know he feels the same?"
"Clarissa, there has been countless times when Ryan will not shut up about you and goes on and on about how great you are."
"But...I'm fifteen and...and..." I started to sob. He gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me into a hug.
"What about when you become alive again?"
"Brendon, I don't know how much longer. What if it's years! By then he would have married and already had a kid. He won't love me anymore."
"Do you know what love is?" He asked.
"No."
"How do you feel when you're around Ryan?" He asked. I breathed in the cool air and smiled softly.
"I feel...alive. I get butterflies in my stomach and I can't take my eyes off him. If I were alive, my heart would speed up everytime I see him. I feel complete and like I can be myself." I looked up at Brendon and tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Clarissa Senners, I think you're in love."
~~~
Brendon's POV:
I carried a sleeping Clarissa into the bus where everyone was worried sick about her. They all jumped up at the sight of her in my arms.
"She's sleeping." I whispered. They nodded and I set her in Ryan's bunk and walked back out to the lounge.
"What happened?" Patrick asked.
"She had a nervous breakdown. She's just stressed from...always having to save our lives when we do stupid shit." They all laughed softy.
"So it's all good?" Gerard asked.
"Yeah, it's fine. Um, Ryan can I talk to you?" I asked. He looked up from his hands and silently got up from the couch. We headed to the upstairs part of the bus and sat down on a small couch in the corner.
"Is she okay? What's wrong? You didn't let anything happen to her, right?" He asked all at once.
"Ry, calm down. She's fine, like I said. But, Ryan I have to ask you something."
"Go ahead, anything."
"You know how we had our little talk a while back and you said you um...liked Clarissa more than a friend?"
"Yeah..." He said slowly.
"Well, are you absolutely sure? Do you like...love her?"
"Brendon, I feel so different when I'm around her. She makes me feel safe, like I can always count on her. We get in fights but I never stay mad at her. It's impossible! I feel like I can just climb a mountain and scream, 'I LOVE YOU!' at the top."
"Why don't you tell her then?"
"I can't Bren. She's fifteen. She'll think I'm a pedophile or something and never talk to me again.
"She's your friend Ryan. I think you should tell her. Maybe she'll feel the same."
"Well, when should I tell her?"
"Tell her now."
"She's sleeping though."
"This is important enough." He breathed in deeply and nodded. He got up and walked down the stairs and I could hear him pull the curtain to his bunk open.
I sat down on Ryan's bed and sighed. He hadn't been buying or doing any drugs lately. Although, the less he does drugs, the more nightmares he has. Sometimes I even have to wake him up because he keeps turning and yelling in his sleep.
"Clarissa, you in here?" I heard Pete calling.
"Yeah." I replied back.
"Where? I can't see you!" He walked into the bunks and searched for me but failed miserably. I giggled.
"You have to find me silly!" He followed my voice and sat down on Ryan's bunk next to me and poked my nose.
"Hey!" I yelled and slapped his hand away playfully. He laughed and lifted me up bridal style. "Put me down!" I protested.
"Nope. You mademe search for you, this is your punishment." He laughed. It wasn't long before we were backstage where everyone was hanging out and playing Guitar Hero.
"I play winner!" I called. Joe had beat Patrick and it was my turn. He put it on Dragonforce and I started to press the colorful buttons. I heard Joe mess up a couple times, but I managed to get a hundred percent. I laughed when he stared blankly at the t.v, realizing I have just beaten him.
After a few hours of hanging out after the show I was sitting between Ryan and Brendon. Everyone was talking and Ryan put an arm around me. I wanted to squeal with delight but he had accidentaly pushed me into Brendon.
"What is Ryan doing? Oh God, he's making the move. I can't believe he like...likes her. He sais maybe even love. She's fifteen and he's twenty! I'm not saying she isn't an ugly girl and no guy would date her. If I were her age I'd probably already be making out with her. But Ryan is twenty years old. That's five years apart. And there's still the fact that she's dead."
I shut my eyes, hearing the words fade away. I had wanted Ryan, but hearing Brendon say those words sent reality full speed at me. We were five years apart and I was fifteen. And...I'm dead.
I got up from the couch and started to run away, tears still already pouring out of her eyes.
"Clarissa!" I heard Brendon and Ryan yell. "Where are you going?!" The called.
"I have to get out of here." I whimpered. I ran out of the venue and into the cool night. I ran straight for the park. I didn't make it too far into the stretch of green grass before I collapsed into a ball of sobs.
How could this happen? I wanted Ryan, but it would never work out. I was dead. And I'm sure that if I ever came back to life he wouldn't want to see me anymore. He would move on and find some Hollywood starlette and marry her and have a good life and move on to make ten more platinum records.
"Clarissa!" I jumped. What if it was Ryan? I didn't want to see him now, if I did I would spill everything to him.
"Clarissa!" I heard the voice again. Releif washed over me like a tidal wave. It was only Brendon.
"I'm over here." I managed to choke out. I became visible and he walked over to me with sad eyes.
"Clarissa, what's wrong?" He asked, dropping on his knees to be at my level. He scooted closer to me and put his arms around me.
"Nothing." Wow, that was a stupid answer.
"So there is just absolutley no reason why you would just run off like that crying?" He asked suspiciously. I guess there was no way out of this. I could trust Brendon...right?
"Brendon, can you keep a secret and promise not to get mad at me?" I asked.
"Of course. There would be no reason for me to be mad at you, and whatever we talk about here I won't ever mention to the guys." He answered. I breathed in and exhaled.
"You know how I have these...powers?" I asked.
"Yeah, what about them?"
"I got a new one about a month ago. I didn't want to tell you guys." I said softly.
"Well, what is it?"
"Um...well...Everytime I touch somebody I can kind of hear their thoughts." I said.
"Huh?" He asked, confused.
"I can read minds."
"And why did you run off?"
"When Ryan wrapped his arm around me, I was pressed into you and I heard what you were thinking."
"How much did you hear?"
"Everything." He sighed and layed down on the grass and looked up at the stars.
"Well this is interesting. Do you like him back?"
"What?" I asked, trying to hide the fact I was nervous.
"Do you like him back?"
"Well, I mean..."
"Ohmygod you do!" He exclaimed, sitting up again and looking at me.
"Brendon, please don't tell! Please! I'm begging you!" I pleaded.
"But why? I mean, if you both like eachother why not try to make it work?"
"How do you know he feels the same?"
"Clarissa, there has been countless times when Ryan will not shut up about you and goes on and on about how great you are."
"But...I'm fifteen and...and..." I started to sob. He gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me into a hug.
"What about when you become alive again?"
"Brendon, I don't know how much longer. What if it's years! By then he would have married and already had a kid. He won't love me anymore."
"Do you know what love is?" He asked.
"No."
"How do you feel when you're around Ryan?" He asked. I breathed in the cool air and smiled softly.
"I feel...alive. I get butterflies in my stomach and I can't take my eyes off him. If I were alive, my heart would speed up everytime I see him. I feel complete and like I can be myself." I looked up at Brendon and tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Clarissa Senners, I think you're in love."
~~~
Brendon's POV:
I carried a sleeping Clarissa into the bus where everyone was worried sick about her. They all jumped up at the sight of her in my arms.
"She's sleeping." I whispered. They nodded and I set her in Ryan's bunk and walked back out to the lounge.
"What happened?" Patrick asked.
"She had a nervous breakdown. She's just stressed from...always having to save our lives when we do stupid shit." They all laughed softy.
"So it's all good?" Gerard asked.
"Yeah, it's fine. Um, Ryan can I talk to you?" I asked. He looked up from his hands and silently got up from the couch. We headed to the upstairs part of the bus and sat down on a small couch in the corner.
"Is she okay? What's wrong? You didn't let anything happen to her, right?" He asked all at once.
"Ry, calm down. She's fine, like I said. But, Ryan I have to ask you something."
"Go ahead, anything."
"You know how we had our little talk a while back and you said you um...liked Clarissa more than a friend?"
"Yeah..." He said slowly.
"Well, are you absolutely sure? Do you like...love her?"
"Brendon, I feel so different when I'm around her. She makes me feel safe, like I can always count on her. We get in fights but I never stay mad at her. It's impossible! I feel like I can just climb a mountain and scream, 'I LOVE YOU!' at the top."
"Why don't you tell her then?"
"I can't Bren. She's fifteen. She'll think I'm a pedophile or something and never talk to me again.
"She's your friend Ryan. I think you should tell her. Maybe she'll feel the same."
"Well, when should I tell her?"
"Tell her now."
"She's sleeping though."
"This is important enough." He breathed in deeply and nodded. He got up and walked down the stairs and I could hear him pull the curtain to his bunk open.