Sequel: Queens of the Night ›
Kings of War
Shaun
Her words caught him completely off guard and for a moment, his heart seemed to drop down into his stomach. He hadn't been serious with the comments he'd been making-- he'd been fucking around, a little bit of playful foreplay before they actually got down to the sex that he was sure they were going to have. Her sudden seriousness left him confused and unsure of what to say to her, so for a moment he just stared at her, arms holding him a few inches above her.
"You...me...what?" He backed off a little, settling above her hips on his knees instead of all fours. It was a revelation that he hadn't expected. He didn't think that they'd ever said the L word to one another, or even really had a moment like this. It was awkward, and he had never been good with words. He was just drawing a huge blank on how he was supposed to answer her. Was he supposed to say he loved her too? He had always loved her. But...saying the L word. He'd never said it, not as long as he could remember. He wasn't sure he even knew how.
She squirmed a little beneath him, looking away in discomfort and he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Guilt-- fucking guilt. he wasn't accustomed to feeling guilty. He didn't give a flying fuck if he hurt other people; usually they deserved it anyways. Seeing Eli look at him like that (or try not to look at him) shifted something inside him. He didn't like the feeling it gave him, and he scrambled for the right words.
He pinned her wrists down to the bed, leaning in close to her. "Look at me, Eli." He rested his forehead against hers. She couldn't escape from him now. There was nowhere for her to look, and no way she was going to squirm out of his iron grasp.
"I don't know if you love me-- I was just bullshitting. I was fucking around, I have no fucking clue, I can't read minds." he paused for a moment, staring at her. He fucking hated feelings, and he hated the fact that they were squirming inside him now like a million fireflies, brushing here and there and making him utterly lost. They always made him feel out of control.
"I love you, Eli. I always have and I always will." Those three words had never been so easy to say.
"You...me...what?" He backed off a little, settling above her hips on his knees instead of all fours. It was a revelation that he hadn't expected. He didn't think that they'd ever said the L word to one another, or even really had a moment like this. It was awkward, and he had never been good with words. He was just drawing a huge blank on how he was supposed to answer her. Was he supposed to say he loved her too? He had always loved her. But...saying the L word. He'd never said it, not as long as he could remember. He wasn't sure he even knew how.
She squirmed a little beneath him, looking away in discomfort and he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Guilt-- fucking guilt. he wasn't accustomed to feeling guilty. He didn't give a flying fuck if he hurt other people; usually they deserved it anyways. Seeing Eli look at him like that (or try not to look at him) shifted something inside him. He didn't like the feeling it gave him, and he scrambled for the right words.
He pinned her wrists down to the bed, leaning in close to her. "Look at me, Eli." He rested his forehead against hers. She couldn't escape from him now. There was nowhere for her to look, and no way she was going to squirm out of his iron grasp.
"I don't know if you love me-- I was just bullshitting. I was fucking around, I have no fucking clue, I can't read minds." he paused for a moment, staring at her. He fucking hated feelings, and he hated the fact that they were squirming inside him now like a million fireflies, brushing here and there and making him utterly lost. They always made him feel out of control.
"I love you, Eli. I always have and I always will." Those three words had never been so easy to say.
♠ ♠ ♠
shooort. hope the content makes up for it.