Kings of War

He had refused to put her down the whole march; nobody else had held her, or even been allowed to touch her. The change would be painful as her skin finished knitting together and the venom turned her vampire. It was a lot, and he knew that it would hurt her. He would never forget the pain of being changed. It had probably been the most painful event in Shaun's whole life. The guilt of knowing he had inflicted the pain on her was a little overwhelming, but he knew it had been necessary. Without it, she would have died from her wounds.

Shaun stood there as Elizabeth rushed out to throw herself into Xander's arms, cracking a small smile. She really hadn't been pleased when she had been left there when they left; it appeared she had gotten over being angry about that. It was an good homecoming, even though he wasn't entirely pleased. Soon Ajax and the rest of the troops would return, and then they would be able to celebrate for yearl. Right now he didn't feel much like celebrating anything.

He merely nodded to Xander's suggestions before the Scot wandered off, arms full of Elizabeth. Shaun couldn't help but feel a little prick of jealousy as he carried Eli's body to the upper chambers. He should have insisted that Eli stay. He should have made her stay here where she would be safe. Shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. It was too late for shoulda's now.

He carried her in his arms to the chamber that had been prepared and laid her on the bed, tugging the blankets up to cover her. For a moment, he merely sat beside the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He had never felt such conflicting emotion; hell, he usually supressed all emotion. This battle between guilt and knowing he had done all he could was awful.

For a long time he sat there with her, watching her although she didn't move at all. He didn't know how much time had passed, but he was knocked from his little trance by a small knock at the door and a little voice.

"Daddy?" Jason stood in the doorway, clutching a teddy bear to his chest and looking at his father with semi-teary eyes. Shaun hadn't realized he'd been sitting up here so long. He stood up, using his body to block Eli's form from Jason's view. He didn't need to see his mother like that. He picked up the boy, quickly shutting the door behind them. "Let's go get some food, okay kiddo?" he asked softing, rubbing Jason's back as he buried his face in Shaun's broad shoulders. He just had to trust that Eli would be fine. Jason needed his attention more than she did right now.